TDI2: Total Drama Impossible
by Younger Wonder
Summary: Back on Camp Wawanakwa, emotions are running high. Nobody's who they seem, and you don't know who you can trust. With some surpising friendships and new romances, drama's just around the corner for these 33 contestants.
1. Prologue: Another Shot At The Prize

Total Drama Island 2: Total Drama Impossible

**Disclaimer** – The rights Total Drama Island, Total Drama Action, Total Drama World Tour, or Total Drama Reloaded do not belong to me. No profit is being made from this Fanfiction. I do own the plot, the laptop this story was typed on, and my original characters.

**Note** – The winner of Total Drama Island will be shamelessly announced throughout the story, so in case (for some odd reason) you haven't seen Total Drama Island, this will spoil the ending. This chapter is known as the Prologue, and the actual show will start next chapter.

**Ratings Note** – This story is rated T for bad language (we're warning you!), sexual reference, violence, and all that. Seriously, though, some of this stuff could really mess you up.

**Romance Note** – I make no promises… Okay, fine, most of the canon pairings will be carried on.

**Dedication **– Let's see… Enigma Dragon Warrior, Athulis, and sithlorde1988 are all really cool dudes, and Kade – if you leak any information, I'll have to kill you.

And now, on with something completely different…

The story!

* * *

**Chapter 0 – The Three Blind Mice**

An all-too-familiar host stood on the Dock of Shame. Chris McLean smoothed out his gelled hair and grinned his trademark grin.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island! You've watched your favorite campers battle it for the grand prize of hundred thousand dollars, spending eight weeks in shabby cabins and trying to keep down Chef's cooking. The eliminations were surprising, to say the least. From Homeschool's sexist words to Heather's refusal to shave her hair and every other in between, this show was one dramatic twist after another. And the ratings were through the roof!

"But, alas, like all wonderful times, it had to end. Eventually, Total Drama Island was left with two finalists: the Goth girl Gwen and the lovable – and sizable – Owen. In a nail-biter, Owen pulled ahead and won himself a hundred thousand big ones! The campers danced for the cameras one last time, and now they're all on their way back home…"

Chris smirked. "Or are they?"

As if on cue, a large boat approached the island.

Chef, wearing his signature apron from season one, stormed over to Chris and said, "Cue the theme song, pretty boy, we're good to go!"

A boat, exactly like those that first brought the campers to Camp Wawanakwa, arrived at the Dock of Shame. A couple seconds later and a couple suitcases were tossed from the boat onto the dock. A large boy wearing a white shirt with a blue maple leaf on it left the boat and waved at the driver. The boat drove off.

"Aw, man, guys! I can't tell you how great it is to be… home?"

He turned around and noticed that this was far from home. What he saw was the same rotten (and in some cases, rotting) cabins, the same crappy dock, the same towering cliff, and the same pearly white smile that he just left.

"Welcome back Owen! Welcome back to Camp Wawanakwa!" Chris smirked.

"Hey McLean! What are you doing here?" Owen asked.

"The correct question is what are _you_ doing here."

"Oh… So what _am_ I doing here?"

"Owen, as the winner of Total Drama Island, you are now promoted to internship!"

"Will there be food?" And, as an afterthought, Owen added, "An internship for what?"

"Yes, Owen, there will be plenty of food. And why don't we wait for the next intern to arrive right about… now."

Chris nodded off towards the distance. Another boat, identical to the one Owen arrived in, pulled up at the dock. A black-haired girl with teal highlights walked off the boat, carrying her bags. She stormed over in front of Chris and dropped her luggage.

"No. I will not. Be a part. Of this living nightmare. Again. No," the girl hissed at the host. She picked up her luggage and started walking off, until Chris called out to her, "Did I mention you're not a contestant?"

This caused the girl to hesitate. The camera-savvy host added, "What do you say, brah? Did I mention there's gonna be new campers?" She turned around and started walking back towards Chris, saying, "Not a contestant, huh? Then what exactly am I?"

"Glad you decided to join us Gwen. Not that you had a choice, of course. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is –"

"What mission? Oh, hey Gwen, Owen, McLean… Wait! McLean? What? Why am I back at Camp Wawanakwa?"

Everybody turned around to see a brunette boy standing there, holding his electronic keyboard and his suitcase.

"Cody, dude, not cool! Whoever was driving your boat so didn't come at the right time! You weren't due for another minute and a half!" Chris whined.

"Never thought you'd be the A-Type like that Chris," Gwen remarked.

"All your questions and more will be answered, as soon as Owen gets over here," Chris ignored the Goth girl.

"Where is Owen, anyway?" Cody asked, looking around.

"Chef, please! You're got to have some food! I haven't eaten in forever!"

"Shut it tubby. You ate half the buffet at Playa de Losers half an hour ago."

Chris, Cody, and Gwen looked over at Chef to find Owen begging him for food. Chris sighed and snapped his fingers. An unnamed and unpaid intern hurried over towards Owen and dragged the large blonde back towards Chris.

"Now that our three new interns are here, why don't you smile for the cameras?" Chris flashed a smile towards the viewing audience.

"We're on television?" gasped Cody. He turned towards one of the cameras and smiled his sly grin, opening his mouth to say something. However, he was cut short by a jab from Gwen.

"Hey, hey, back to me! Now, as I was saying, you three will be interns –"

"Why us, though?" Owen asked.

"Enough with the interrupting, people! Owen, you won Total Drama Island. Gwen, you were the finalist."

"And me?" Cody asked.

Chris just shrugged. "What can I say dude? We had a poll, and you are the most popular contestant. I believe you beat out Lindsay by – let's see – I believe it was a couple thousand votes? The immensity of your fan-base is unbelievable."

"What?" was all Cody responded with.

"Dude, you didn't know? That's priceless. Back to me! So, in this sequel of Total Drama Island –"

"What's the sequel called?" Gwen wanted to know.

"I was getting there!"

"Of course you were," Cody added.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Our first appearance! **

**Chris** – /He smirks/ Yes, the sequel will be reusing the famous, and infamous, Confessional Cam. Aren't you campers, or ex-campers, happy? /He frowns/ But right now, I'm seriously reconsidering the idea of having three veterans, especially those three, become interns.

**Gwen** – I bet Chris is really reconsidering the idea of having us three become interns.

**Cody** – /He looks confused/ Wait, seriously? I'm the most popular contestant by a couple _thousand_ votes? I have a fan-base? Huh? /He thinks for a moment, and then smiles/ Not that I'm complaining. This will be a great time to get to know Gwen better. /He looks confused again/ A fan-base?

**Owen** - /He's eating/ I can't believe how much I missed the food here! /farts/ Whoo! First one of the new season!

* * *

"Now, this season will be different than the last –"

"No really, genius?" Gwen asked sarcastically.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – No backtalk in here **

**Chris** – Yep, definitely reconsidering the intern idea.

* * *

"It will feature 10 returning veterans – not including you ungrateful three – and 10 new rookies," Chris began, before being interrupted by Cody. "But wait! There's more!"

He and Gwen shared a quick high-five before Owen asked, "McLean, what about the food? Will we have free food again?"

"Well –" Chris started.

"You can't call what we had last time food. No offense Chef… But mine moved." Gwen shuttered.

"What is with you teens and stealing my spotlight? I will answer all questions in due time!"

"So McLean, who are the returning campers?" Gwen asked.

"And McLean, who are the rookies?" Cody pondered.

"And when is the next meal?" Owen begged.

"You know dudes, I know of another crowd pleaser that the audience would love to become an intern instead of you three. Maybe you've heard of her? Her name's Heather. I'm sure she won't talk as much as you three…"

That shut Gwen, Cody, and Owen up real quick.

"That's better. This sequel will feature one charming host – me – and three veterans turned interns – you three – along with thirty-three campers: 10 returning veterans, 10 fresh rookies, and 13 of the audience!"

Chris grinned and turned towards the camera.

"You heard me right! If you're watching this, and you think you have what it takes to compete on the sequel, it's not too late to be a part of the hottest reality show yet! Just fill out the form provided to you! Thirteen of you lucky viewers will have a chance to battle it out with 20 other camps for the grand prize of five hundred thousand dollars! That's right. I said five, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero!"

"Just think of how much hair gel that could buy you, McLean." Gwen laughed.

"Or how many tons of gravy…" Owen added.

"Not cool dudes!" Chris whined, before grinning at the camera. "Who are the returning 10 campers? Who are the 10 new campers? Which of you will summit a form and join the cast of this sequel? And can this host get any sexier? Find out next time on Total… Drama… IMPOSSIBLE!"

* * *

**Confessional Cam – New Beginnings, Final Words**

**Cody** - /He looks flabbergasted/ I can't believe, that in one day, I'll be an intern for the sequel to the show that I was rejected by my dream girl, mauled by a bear, and almost drowned on …. all on national television. /He looks pumped/ Oh yeah!

**Gwen** – What do I think about being an intern to this Total Drama Impossible thing? Well, let's see… No life-threatening challenges, no barf-inducing food, no nerve-wrecking elimination ceremonies… Need I continue?

**Owen** – This is gonna be AWESOME!

* * *

The cameras shut off, and Chris turned annoyed towards his interns.

"Okay, McLean, now that the cameras aren't rolling, explain this whole sequel Total Drama Impossible thing to us," Cody said.

"Wait, I just realized something. Total Drama Island is TDI. Total Drama Impossible is TDI. I know some of the campers are smart enough to figure out the difference, but…" Gwen pointed out.

"Total Drama Island – the winner of which is Owen here – is known as TDI. Total Drama Impossible is known as TDI2. Simple."

"McLean, what about food? Will we be provided with Chef's cooking three times a day like the campers?" Owen asked again.

"Owen, I'm going to answer your question just so you'll be quiet. The host – that's me, Chef, and the interns – not to mention the Aftermath host and hostess – will be eating gourmet food, and…"

"WHOO!" Owen shouted. Cody grinned, but Gwen just shook her head in disbelief.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – We Don't Know If The Word 'Edible' Is In Chef's Vocabulary**

**Gwen** – I won't believe McLean's promise of gourmet food until I see it… Or rather, don't see it moving.

**Cody** – I wouldn't put it past McLean to give us Chef's gunk again, but I know for a fact that McLean eats gourmet food. I can only hope he cares enough about his interns to give them edible food, and – who am I kidding? Chris? Caring? /He bursts out laughing/

**Chris** - /He looks insulted/ For a matter of fact, I am giving those ungrateful teens real food! Hey, they can't test out all of our awesomely dangerous challenges if they're in the infirmary.

**Chef** - /He's sitting there, muttering darkly under his breath/

* * *

"Basically, the audience loved Total Drama Island. They couldn't wait for a sequel. Thus, Total Drama Impossible – or TDI2 – was born."

"But why a total of 33 competitors?" Gwen asked.

"33 competitors equal a longer season which equals more ratings which equals a larger budget for me. Besides, the audience wants to see some new faces."

"Which brings me to our previous question: Who are the 33 campers?"

"You choose the returning veterans, you'll find out the 10 rookies tomorrow, and we're still waiting for the audience to submit 13 forms, dude. Man, you should see some of the freaks I chose! A couple people are pretty awesome, though not as awesome as me, of course –"

"We choose?" Cody repeated.

"Whoo! Izzy, babe, you're coming back!" Owen cheered loudly.

"Yes, you choose. I want the contestants to blame you if they're chosen, and blame you if they aren't. Don't forget to choose an Aftermath host and hostess."

So Gwen, Cody, and Owen huddled together, the weight of the world – or, at least, the entire show – resting on their shoulders.

"Chef, my man, I have a feeling this season will be twice as dramatic as the last," the host whispered to Chef.

"Whatever, pretty boy. Now where's my paycheck?" he whispered back.

"It's in the mail, old friend, in the mail."

"It better be."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Where's Our Paycheck?**

**Chris **- This… is going to be good.

* * *

Yes, yes, I know.

So, you've heard of stories featuring submit your own characters, and you've read stories with all of the original contestants, and you've seen stories that contain all new characters. But I proudly introduce one of the first stories to feature all three of those ideas combined!

Here are some ground rules...

**This is a fully interactive story. I expect you to review or at least vote.**

**Let's try for some unique stereotypes here, okay people? I don't want 4 jocks, 7 punks, and 13 musicians. If someone else already made a stereotype, try for something different.**

**Unique names are fine. Unique names are great! As long as you don't press random buttons to get a name like Trunoadf. Not that Trunoadf is a bad name, or anything.**

**No perfect characters. There must be some flaws. Unless perfection is your stereotype or something. That's a whole 'nother situation. **

**Please try and keep the stereotypes to be under five words. I don't want a Sweet Goth Who Is Also A Tomboy That Plays The Guitar. **

**You can submit more than one character, but that doesn't mean I'll choose all of your characters.**

**This isn't a first come, first serve story.**

Name: (First and Last)

Nickname: (Something your friends or enemies call you besides your real name, like how Duncan calls Courtney 'Princess' and Heather calls Gwen 'Weird Goth Girl')

Age: (How old are you? Can't go older than 18)

Birthday: (Month and Date… Not sure if I'll actually matter, but it never hurts)

Gender: (Obvious)

Stereotype: (Try for something different!)

Birthplace: (Where you were born)

Color That Represents Character: (Yes, this is important. And don't just say red or blue.)

**Appearance**

Height: (How tall is your character?)

Weight: (How big is your character?)

Skin: (What color is their skin?)

Hair: (How does their hair look? Color and style of it)

Facial Hair: (Do they have any hair on their face?)

Eyes: (What color are their eyes?)

Build: (Do they have any muscles or not? Is their chest noticeable?)

Body Shape: (Are they scrawny, skinny, or in-between?)

Other: (Do they wear glasses or something? Do they have a tattoo? Etc.)

**Clothing**

Everyday Clothes: (If you want several different outfits, just mention them here, or PM me)

Swimwear: (What do they swim in?)

PJ's: (What do they sleep in?)

Formal: (What do they wear on special occasions, such as: dates, parties, etc.)

Jewelry: (Do they wear jewelry or something?)

Other: (Any other clothing or accessory can go here)

**Personality**

Personality: (What are they like? How do they act?)

How do they act when they first arrive: (How do they act when they first arrive to the island?)

How do they act around friends: (How are they around friends or buddies?)

How do they act around enemies: (How do they act around people they don't like?)

How do they act around crush: (How do they act around people they like or are in love with? If you aren't getting paired up, then ignore this question)

How do they act around the Host: (How will they act around Chris & Chef?)

How do they act around the interns: (How will they act around Gwen, Cody, and Owen?)

How do they act around the veterans: (Will they be super excited to meet the contestants of TDI? Or will they be scared?)

How do they act around the other rookies: (Are they quick to make new friends? Do they piss people off right away?)

Talents: (Anything they're good at?)

Not Talents: (Anything they're bad at?)

Likes: (What kind of things do they like?)

Dislikes: (What kind of things do they dislike?)

Best Quality: (Name something positive about your character. Can be more than one)

Worst Quality: (Name something negative about your character. Can be more than one)

Habits: (Is there something they do all the time and they just can't get rid of it? Can be good or bad)

Pet Quirks: (Is there something that irritates the heck out of them? Can be a little or big thing)

How do they act when they're mad: (How does your character when they're upset or pissed off? What does he/she do?)

How do they act when they're sad: (How does your character act when they're depressed or down in the dumps? What do they do?)

How do they act when they're happy: (How does your character act when they're happy? What do they do?)

**Other**

Hobbies: (Anything they do in their spare time?)

Talents: (Anything they are particularly good at?)

Paired up: (Want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?)

Break up: (Do you want your character and their boyfriend/girlfriend to break up?)

With what type of person: (What type of person do you want to be with? If you said 'no' to the above question, ignore this question)

Alliance: (Do you want your character to be in an alliance?)

How do they act in an Alliance: (Basically, what do they do in an alliance? Are they the leader? The follower? Or the muscle? Do they treat it seriously or not?)

Who would be in their alliance: (Who would join your character, or whose alliance would your character join?)

Break-Up: (Do you want your character to break away from the alliance?)

Good or Evil: (Does your character consider himself/herself the hero or the villain of the show? Would the other campers consider himself/herself the hero or the villain of the show?)

What they brought: (What did they bring with them to the island? This is besides the normal clothes, toiletry [I used a fancy word!], etc…)

Sexuality: (Straight, Gay, Bi, or Les?)

History: (Just a short summary of their life up until now)

Medical Conditions: (Is there something they're allergic to or do they have to take medication?)

Phobia: (What is they're worst fear, why, and how do they react to it?)

Does Your Character Use Bad Language: (Some characters don't curse, some do. Take your pick. And if so, how often?)

Can Your Character Drive?: (Regardless of the age of your character, can your character drive a car? Or anything else, for that matter?)

Quote From Your Character: (Something they'll say on the show, in the Confessional Cam, or something they already said. Can be really important and deep, or as random as a single word.)

Audition tape: (Must have! The longer/more detailed, the better!)

Anything Else: (Anything else I missed?)

As you can see, that's quite a lot of information. But I want your character to be as close to what you want them to be as possible. If you don't want other people able to see your form (like your phobia, or your love interest), you can PM me if you'd rather.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, just drop me a PM. (That sounded very official, didn't it?)

If you're looking for some ideas: A romantic, an environmentalist, a detective, an otaku (Anime fan), or someone with an accent… What? I like people with accents. And don't be afraid to send in some evil people!

So send those forms in to join 10 veterans and 10 of my original characters here on…

Total…

Drama…

Impossible!


	2. Ep 1, Pt 1: A One Way Trip Back To Hell

**Total Drama Island 2: Total Drama Impossible**

**Thank you to everyone who submitted a character! I received many different campers, and it was difficult to choose only 13. If your character didn't make it, I hope that doesn't stop you from reading.**

**Disclaimer: I owe TDI, and when I get sued for saying that, I can just claim temporary insanity and win the case.**

**Warning: This story does contain language, sexual references, and mild (or not so mild) cases of yaoi. Nothing over T though, but anyone offended can leave a PM or a review!**

**And now…**

…

…

…

**The story!**

* * *

**Episode 1, Part 1** – A Couple New Friends and Some Old Enemies

* * *

Five figures stood on the dock, their shadows cast over the water.

The first person, a brunette boy, grinned at the camera; while the black-haired girl next to him simply smirked. A large – very large – guy standing behind them burped and smiled at the camera, causing the other teens to turn around and stare at him.

Standing next to them was a menacing chef known as….well, Chef, despite the fact that apparently he can't cook to save his life.

The final figure was a couple feet away from the others, most likely to prevent the others from dampening his incredibleness. He quickly ran his hand through his hair and gave the camera the grin he was famous for.

"Thirty-three contestants, three interns, two grand prizes, and one amazing host. Along with all of the backstabbing, lying, heartbreaking drama that made Total Drama Island famous in the first place. We're back and better than ever before –"

At that, Gwen pushed the host – Chris McLean, who else – out of the camera's view, snarling at him, "Stop with the damn drama McLean, and let us do the work."

She turned to face the camera and smirked. "I'm Gwen, semi-finalist for Total Drama Island and intern for Total Drama Impossible."

Cody strutted – or what he could only hope was a strut – up next to Gwen. "I'm the second intern. Maybe you've heard of me, Cody? That's Codemiester, for all you ladies."

Gwen rolled her eyes, and continued. "Chris decided that he was too cheap to hire new interns and too lazy to do the work himself, so as you saw in the previous episode, he nominated me, Cody here, and Owen to be the new interns."

Said host himself, currently nursing a sprained wrist on the ground, mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Yes, yes. We're sorry we damaged your over-inflated ego. May we continue?" Cody muttered back to him.

"Now, we await the arrival of the next batch of contestants. With new friends and enemies mixed in among old, who knows what will happen?" Gwen said.

"Who can you trust? Who will end up stabbing you in the back?" Cody added.

"And will Cody here get a girlfriend?" Gwen laughed. Cody glanced at her, but didn't say anything.

"The drama's back and better than ever before, here on Total Drama Impossible!" Gwen concluded.

Just then Owen decided to join his fellow interns in front of the camera. He grinned, pumped his fist into the air, and shouted, "This is going to be AWESOME!"

The only person standing on the dock who hadn't talked yet, Chef, walked past the camera, calling back to the interns, "Since Pretty Boy here ain't going to do it, you better cue the theme song."

* * *

Chris McLean was pacing up and down in front of his interns, looking pretty ticked off. "I can't believe you guys! Millions of fans are watching this show to see my handsome face, and you push me to the ground?"

"Chris, you –" Owen interrupted quietly.

"Not now Owen. So after you take over the introduction, you precede to mock me in front of the entire viewing world."

"Dude, McLean, I –" Cody stated cautiously.

"Wait one second, Cody brah. To add insult to injury, you –"

"McLean, we're LIVE!" Gwen finally shouted.

Chris turned around hesitantly and grinned at the camera. "Welcome back!"

"We didn't go anywhere, did we?" Owen asked.

"Now it's time to introduce the characters. Will you be surprised by the returning veterans these three interns chose? Will you be shocked by the rookie contestants this devilishly handsome host chose? Well, now's the time to find out!"

"I wouldn't be too sure, Boss," Cody contradicted.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked.

"Well, an intern just told me that the contestants aren't ready yet."

"Why didn't the intern tell that to me?"

"The intern says he was too afraid."

Chris sighed. "Change of plan! Interns, entertain the viewers."

Chris walked away from the camera causing the interns to gasp – partially from the fact that they had to entertain millions of viewers, but also from the fact that Chris McLean actually walked away from a camera.

"Cody, do you know how to entertain millions of viewers?" Gwen whispered to him.

"Err… the trailer?"

* * *

**You loved Total Drama Island!**

"Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we're gonna eat it!" he shouted, picking up a dodge ball.

"Stay awake for 12 hours? I could do that in my sleep!" the big guy exclaimed, falling asleep.

**From the drama…**

"I have flip flops with more brains then her," she said, flipping her hair nonchalantly, "but she's useful right now, so I'll keep her close, and when I don't need her, I'll dump her."

"You guys think you're _so_ funny," he snarled, switching the votes. "Let's see how you like it when someone messes with your love life."

…**To the humor!**

"I can't believe we _actually_ locked Heather in the freezer! That was so cool! Heather won't see this, right?" the blonde cheered.

"My biscuits are burning!" he yelped after pulling up a new pair of underwear.

**But now a second season is approaching!**

Chris smirked. "Or are they?" and as if on cue, a large boat approached the island.

"I can't believe that in one day, I'll be an intern for the sequel to the show that I was rejected by my dream girl, mauled by a bear, and almost drowned on …. All on national television," He gasped.

**Tempers will flare.**

"Well, if you have a problem with me being _anti-social_," she snarled, storming over towards him, fist raised menacingly, tails swinging behind her, "why don't I have my fist become social with your face?"

"I have a sword, and I be not afraid to use it, _Ninja_. Stay away or I won't be responsible for my actions," he warned, twirling said sword.

**Alliances will form.**

"I don't like you, and you don't like me, but we both like her. Vote with me, and I can guarantee that she'll be safe. For today, at least," he shrugged and subtly pointed towards her.

"I won't be much help to my team, mister, but I think if you helped me, I might be able to go far enough to make some friends," she asked and sighed, smiling at him.

**Trust shall be created…**

"So, you wanna go play some poker?" He questioned, pulling out a deck of cards and smirking.

"C'mon!" she shouted, pulling him with her into the candy forest. "We can win this!"

… **And shattered.**

"I thought we could trust her, but thinking back on it, she's the perfect suspect. No one would ever suspect her." He shakes his head in disgust. "It's too late now though. The damage is done. There have been many unfair eliminations… and she's the cause of it all."

"I know it was just for the challenge babe, but I can't get it out of my head. Not to mention, you've been spending a lot of time with him. I can't help but wonder if this, you, _us_ is over," he trailed off and looked at the floor.

**We're back and better than before!**

"Chris said he had some 'special qualities'. I know for a fact he's one of the main antagonists, and with all the time they've been spending together, I wonder… is antagonism contagious?" he laughed nervously and shook his head.

She smiled at the camera, held out her wrist, and cut off her olive-colored wrist bands. She shrugged. "One down, thirty-one to go."

**Total Drama Island 2: Total Drama Impossible! Coming soon!**

"And the winner of Total Drama Island 2: Total Drama Impossible – not to be confused with Total Drama Island – will be announced right after this commercial!" Chris shouted, causing all thirty-three contestants to groan in annoyance.

* * *

"And we're back!" Chris shouted.

"McLean, we never left," Gwen pointed out.

"Shush! I think I see the first boat!"

Chris was indeed correct. The first contestant was here. Moments after the boat arrived, a squirming body sack was thrown on to the dock, followed by a suitcase.

When the three interns stared at Chris, all he did was shrug. "Hey, we didn't know if they'd coming willingly or not."

"So you kidnapped us?"

After having worked his way out of the body bag, a brunette boy was standing there, book in hand and disbelief written all over his face.

"Hey, it's not kidnapping if you agreed to it in the contracts!" Chris protested.

"Care to explain why I was knocked out in the middle of the night and woke up on a boat in a bag?"

As Chris McLean opened his mouth to explain, Noah answered his own question, saying, "On second thought, don't tell me. I imagine I'll have mental scars if you explain."

Noah picked up his luggage and walked to the side of the Dock of Shame. He gazed at Owen, Gwen, and Cody, and said, "I don't even want to know."

"Your loss, brah," Chris shrugged and turned back to the next boat, where the next contestant's loud yelling could be heard before she was seen.

"Like, hi everyone! I'm back! McLean, your guys tried to kidnap me! But I was all like _hi-yah _and _ka-pow!_ They were no match for the awesome power of E-Scope!"

"You brought back Nutsy?" Noah asked incredulously, but before Chris could answer, Izzy glomped Noah, sending them both crashing to the ground.

"You gave me a nickname, Noah-san? How sweet! Izzy approves!"

"Izzy, babe! Do I get a hug?"

Izzy looked up at Owen, sadness written all over her face. She quickly jumped up from Noah – much to his relief – and sighed. Everyone looked with shock at her, for this was not the wild Izzy they knew. Some people – like Gwen and Chris – knew what was coming. Chris quietly motioned for the cameras to zoom in.

"Owen, Big O, I'm sorry but we're through," Izzy admitted.

"B-but Izzy, why?" Owen cried.

"I traveled half-way across the world, met a fortune teller, and spent three years studying under Grand Master Sensei. I learned that you and I weren't met to be… and you shoved me towards serial killer!" Izzy added, glaring up at the big guy. "What kind of boyfriend does that?"

"Izzy, why?" Owen shouted, falling down to his knees in a dramatic fashion. "Why?"

"Izzy, you were only gone for one day. Your story can't be possible," Noah muttered under his breath. "And if you don't mind, can you _please _get off of me?"

Izzy looked down. Indeed, she was standing on a flattened Noah. "Aw, really Noah? This is just like the time I had to ski down a mountain, but my snowboard broke, so I ended up skiing down the mountain on someone's back!"

Izzy jumped off of Noah and skipped down the dock. Before Noah could stand up, a figure approached him and blocked off the sun.

"Need a hand, Noah?" the queen bee asked.

Noah just stared at her skeptically as he stood up himself. "Thanks Heather, but I'd prefer not to get caught up in your schemes again."

Heather just sighed, rolled her eyes, and walked away.

"And here comes the Queen of Mean herself!" Chris shouted out as she walked past him. The glare she sent his way could have frozen water. "Sheesh, no need to be so touchy Heather!"

Heather stopped in front of the three interns. Owen was still on his knees, staring blankly off into the distance; Cody was fidgeting nervously under Heather's gaze; and Gwen was glaring at Heather. Nothing new.

"Which one of you three chose me?" she questioned.

"What do you mean, Heather?" Cody asked.

Holding back a rude remark, Heather rephrased her question. "I watched yesterday's episode. I know you three chose the returning veterans. So spill."

The three interns looked at each other, all waiting for someone else to answer the question. Finally Chris McLean laughed and answered: "I did, Heather. I knew none of them wanted to put up with you for an entire new season, but you bring the ratings in like there's no tomorrow. I chose you myself, of course."

Heather stormed up to Chris and hoisted him up by the collar. "McLean, you are just lucky I'm not physically allowed to hurt you."

She made her way back to the other side of the dock and stood next to a bored Noah and an excited Izzy.

"Well, that was interesting," the newest veteran stated.

Noah immediately noticed the body bag – or rather, the lack of one – and groaned. "Was I the only one you had to kidnap and stuff into a body bag, McLean?"

"Actually, Noah, those idiots stuffed me in a bag too, but I used my mad skills to work my way loose. I've had plenty of practice being stuffed into trash cans, ya know!" Harold boasted, but then quickly looked around. "Courtney's not here, is she? I mean, gosh, she can't kill me, right?"

To which the host just chuckled and pat Harold on the back. Harold sighed, fearing for his safety, and walked over towards the other campers. He grinned at Noah and Izzy and bowed to Heather. Looking uncomfortable, she muttered thanks under her breath.

"Did I hear incorrectly, or did Heather just say thank you?"Gwen asked, the look on her face mirroring the look on Noah's when Izzy glomped him.

"Yeah, I did," Heather responded annoyed, "but don't get used to it, Weird Goth Girl."

"Ya know, Heather-kins, more people might like you if you were nicer!" Izzy stated cheerfully.

"Whatever, Psycho Hose – fine, Izzy."

"Is no one going to tell me what's going on? Gosh!" Harold exclaimed, rather ticked off.

"Hello dudes and dudettes! It is awesome to be back!" someone yelled from the front of the next ship.

"Awesome! Geoff's here!" Owen cheered, momentarily forgetting his sadness.

"Welcome back, man!" Chris said.

"It's awesome to be back, man!"

"Glad you could," Chris snickered, "make it, man!"

"It was nothing, dude! They just showed up in the middle of my party and asked me to come along with them, man!" Geoff pumped his fist and jumped down to the dock.

"Again, was I the only one that arrived at this dock in a body bag?" Noah muttered.

"Save your breath, honey. Knowing Chris McLean, he probably did it just to spite you," Heather tried to comfort him.

Noah gave her a weird look and took a step in the other direction.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – What's She Up To?**

**Noah** – I know Heather. She'll use you like a puppet and dump you when you're useless and broken. I'm watching for her. As for being on Camp Wawanakwa…again… Well, let's see. I jumped off a giant cliff, kissed a guy, and now I've been attacked by an Izzy. I'm not exactly squealing with joy to be back here.

**Heather** – What do people think I am, a puppet master? Look how last season ended: me getting third place and a bald head! I'm wearing a freaking wig, and it's itchy! I haven't turned over a new leaf, but I'm determined not to be voted off first.

**Harold** – I for one believe that Heather has turned over a new leaf. After all, everyone deserves a second chance! And by everyone, I mean me. Courtney's no match for my mad skills though! Neither was that bag those idiots tied me up in! Gosh!

**Izzy** – Do I trust Heather? About as far as I can throw her. I never really got why people say that, because Heather doesn't look that heavy. I bet I could throw her really far. Like once, I hiding from the RCMP in Antarctica, and I was attacked by a giant snow leopard! He was a great opponent but no match for the infamous E-Scope! With one mighty throw, I tossed him over the side of the mountain! /She sighs contently/ Ah, good times, good times.

**Geoff** – I was psyched when McLean's dudes showed up. I was having an awesome welcome home party, and suddenly, they were knocking on my door, telling me I've been chosen to compete on TDI2! Man, it was awesome! /He stops and looks confused/ Wait, were we supposed to be ranting about Heather in here?

* * *

The next camper didn't say anything. He just walked off the boat and down the Dock of Losers. He stopped several feet away from the other contestants and sat down on the edge of the dock, his feet dangling above the water.

"Dude, who's idea was it to bring Homeschool back?" Chris asked before shaking his head.

"Izzy, I have an idea. Why don't you go glomp Homeschool?" Noah muttered, not expecting Izzy's perky answer.

"Well, silly bookworm, if I glomped Zeke, that send us both into the water!"

"And when has that stopped you before?"

"Well, I wouldn't want Kaleidoscope to drown now, would I?" Izzy pulled a snake – a dark blue snake with a red head and bright blue stripes, if you were wondering – out of nowhere.

"I didn't know snakes came in bright blue," Noah calmly stated, slowly taking side steps away from Izzy.

"Izzy, please don't tell me that is a Blue Malayan Coral Snake!" Harold exclaimed, jumping away from her.

"Yep!" Izzy grinned happily.

"Gosh, don't you know that one bite and its neurotoxic venom can cause death?" Harold yelped, still backing away.

"But Kaleidoscope would never harm anyone," protested Izzy, hiding her snake again.

"Izzy, please try and keep your snake under control. No matter how many ratings a bitten camper would bring in, if someone were to die, I could be facing serious law suits."

"So nice you care about us, McLean," Heather responded with.

"For once I agree with Weird Popular Girl over there," Gwen shuttered at the thought, and Cody nodded his head in agreement.

"Izzy, may I pet Kaleidoscope? Pretty please?" Owen asked, trying to get in Izzy's good book.

"Nope."

"Duncan, dude, how have you been?" Chris called out to the next camper to arrive.

"Shut it McLean," Duncan snarled and stormed past him.

"Sup, Duncan?" Gwen asked, hugging her friend.

"Not much, ignoring the fact that McLean's goons tried to knock me out in the middle of the night. So, anyone care to explain why I'm back at this hell hole?"

"You'll find out in good time," Cody answered mysteriously, before Owen blurted out, "You've been chosen to compete on Total Drama Impossible!"

"Well, duh! Am I the only one who bothered to watch yesterday's episode?" Heather grumbled.

"Most likely," Noah responded.

Duncan glanced over at Owen, and bluntly said, "What happened to you? You look like you've been run over by a train."

"You're so thoughtful, Duncan," Gwen muttered sarcastically.

"Izzy and I b-b-broke…" Owen trailed off in despair. Everyone glanced at Izzy, some in amusement and some glaring, and she shrugged.

"Speaking of which, Duncan, you can prevent Courtney from killing me, right?" Harold asked uneasily.

"Aww, c'mon dude! What happened to your mad skills?" Geoff smiled wickedly.

"Courtney's coming?" Duncan suddenly perked up.

"If I'm not mistaken, here… she…comes!"Chris said and pointed at the next boat.

"Thank you Chris McLean. Next time you want to have a sequel, why don't you try not kidnapping the contestants? I'd threaten to sue, but I deserve to be on this sequel to right the wrongs of last season. Speaking of which, please tell me Harold is here."

"Yes he is Courtney, yes he is," Chris smirked evilly.

"Good, cause I'd like to kill him."

"Did someone say my name?" Harold asked, running up to them. He caught sight of Courtney and slowly started backing up.

Courtney stared at him, keeping her calm for a record time of 3.27 seconds. She blinked, and then she snapped, lunging at the defenseless redhead.

Thankfully (for Harold that is), a certain mohawked stepped in and grabbed Courtney's wrists, preventing her from harming Harold.

"Duncan, let me go!" she snapped, struggling to escape.

"Aw, c'mon Princess, you and I both know that dweeb is not worth your efforts to murder him."

"Gee thanks Duncan. Gosh!" Harold muttered.

Courtney stopped trying to get at Harold and thought about what Duncan said. "Huh, I guess you're right. And don't call me Princess!"

"Well, do I get a reward for being right then?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Since Courtney was too busy debating whether or not to kiss him on national television, Duncan made her decision for her. He pulled her in for a long kiss, earning many catcalls and a chorus of 'Aww!' Geoff sighed, obviously missing his special someone.

After several long minutes, Courtney broke away from the kiss and said, "You still aren't my type, Duncan."

The next contestant stepped on the boat, her surfboard in hand. She walked down the Dock of Shame and said hello to everyone.

"We still aren't in Malibu, Barbie," Duncan rolled his eyes. Bridgette glared at him and accidentally wacked him upside the head with her surfboard causing Duncan to groan in pain. Courtney rolled her eyes at him and hugged her friend.

"Bridgette, babe!" Geoff cheered, spinning her around and giving her a kiss to rival that of Duncan and Courtney's.

"I missed you too, Geoff," Bridgette laughed, "but what was that for?"

"Well, I can't have Duncan and Courtney over there outdo us, now could I?"

Bridgette looked at her friend and her friend's boyfriend and raised her eyebrows. Duncan winked and wrapped an arm around Courtney, but Courtney blushed and stepped away from him.

"Not that making out doesn't make for great television – not to mention all the ratings – but I believe the next contestant has arrived," Chris interrupted the love fest.

"Oh, don't thtop juthst becauth I'm here! Why am I here again?" the final veteran camper asked, looking around.

"Great, the lisping farm girl is back," Heather said before she could stop herself.

"No one here ith ethactly thrilled to thee you either, Heather," Beth shot back.

"And Beth makes ten!" Izzy shouted.

"Ten what, dudette?" Geoff wanted to know.

"Ten contestants have arrived so far, brah. That means twenty-three more to come!"

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Who Could They Be?**

**Harold** – I'm going to try and apologize. This second season or reunion or whatever it is will give me the perfect opportunity to do so! I can show of my mad skills! /He blows a kiss at the camera/ I miss you, my Goddess LeShawna! Till Fate brings us together again!

**Bridgette** – Geoff can be a little slow at times, but I am so glad we were both chosen for TDI2! But am I the only one that noticed Trent didn't return? /She sighs and rubs her arms uncertainly/ I wonder if everything's okay between them.

**Noah** – Of course I'm happy to be back on Camp Wawanakwa. The life threatening challenges, the barf-inducing food, the sadist host, now a total of thirty-three campers? I'm jumping for joy, can't you tell? Seriously though, unless you were dropped on your head sometime between two days ago and today, who would want to be back at this place?

**Geoff** – I am hyped to be back here! It's nice to see Courtney and Duncan are getting along just fine, and it's incredible to see my babe, Bridgette again! /He places a hand on his head/ I still have a killer headache from when I fell out of tree and hit my head yesterday though.

**Beth** – Ith tho nithe to have a thecond chance to win! /She smiles, then frowns/ Too bad Heather ith here, though. I'll juthst have to make thure that she-demon doethn't win!

**Duncan** – So what if there are thirty-three contestants? I still have a great shot at winning. 500,000 dollars would be more than enough to get me out of juvie.

**Heather** – I have a plan. /She grins and crosses her arms/ If I can convince everybody that I've turned over a new leaf and become nicer and trust worthy, then I might not be voted out first again. Let's see… Homeschool has no experience whatsoever about alliances, and Noah's too lazy to refuse. They'll be my first targets. Oh yeah, this Queen Bee's back.

**Izzy** – I knew there'd be a second season, and I knew I'd be chosen. How'd I know, you ask? /Izzy smirks at the camera and shakes her finger/ Nuh-uh-uh! That's between me and my tea leaves.

**Courtney** – Duncan's right. /She pauses and thinks about what she said/ I never thought I'd say those two words in the same sentence without the word 'not' or 'never' in between them. Anyway, he's right about the fact that Harold so isn't worth my time and efforts to kill him. I'll just have to find another way to get my revenge.

**Owen **- /He pouts/ Izzy can't break up with me! Why? I – I don't really care anymore. I'm here, and this will be totally AWESOME! /He pumps his fist, but then his face falls/ Why?

**Gwen** – I had no problem choosing my friend Bridgette, her man Geoff, and my buddy Duncan. My only regret is that I nominated Trent to be the Aftermath host. I miss him, I really do, but I didn't want him back under McLean's control, not to mention I knew Heather would somehow wind up on TDI2. /She sighs, looking troubled/ And even though we made up during the final episode of TDI, I still don't know what to think about his and Heather's kiss.

**Cody** – This season's mine! No, not to win, but to get myself a girlfriend. /He winks at the camera and makes a finger gun/

**Ezekiel** - /He sighs, looks up at the camera, opens his mouth, and sighs again/

* * *

"Aren't you glad to be back, Noah-san?" Izzy asked.

"Yes, I am just thrilled. Can't you tell? Happiness is oozing from my every poor."

"Nice to see you're the little ray of sunshine we all remember," Duncan laughed.

"Are you happy to be back here?" Noah demanded.

"Sure, why not? I got my best dude Geoff, his girl, and my Princess. Not to mention a shot at 500,000 dollars. What more could a dude want? Well, besides free beer of course," Duncan shrugged.

"Well, I dunno, what about NO crappy food, NO horrid housing conditions, and NO sadist host to torture us every step of the way through it?" Noah grumbled back.

"Dude, you're just sulky because Cody's straight and won't let you be his boyfriend," Duncan waved his hand submissively.

Noah groaned in frustration. "For the last time, I'm not gay!"

At which point Izzy decided to glomp Noah again. "Of course you're not, silly! You're bi!"

"Do I even what to know what's going on?"

"And here comes our first new contestant, Gail!" Chris shouted.

A dark-skinned boy stepped off the boat, looking around, and brushed some dirt off his black tee shirt.

"Dude, you like part of the army?" Geoff wondered, judging by Gail's camouflage pants, backpack, and worn combat boots.

"Not quite, brah. Gail's a hobo," Chris snickered.

Gail visibly winced, as did Bridgette, Courtney, and Beth at Chris's harsh words. Gail snapped, "I prefer the term survivalist."

Said survivalist stormed past Chris, making sure to stomp on the host's foot, and stood in the area designated for the new campers.

"Hi, I'm Beth!" Beth smiled at him.

Gail regarded her coolly, withholding his judgment. "I know."

Beth looked nervous, and took a step back from him. "I juthst thought that, thince you didn't have a televition, you, well –"

"You thought that because I don't have a house or a television, I wouldn't know what Total Drama Island is or who the original twenty-two contestants are? How do you think I signed up for this show?"

"Well, I, uh… How did you thign up for Total Drama Ithland?" Beth wanted to know.

Gail shrugged, his voice light. "That's a story for another time."

"Great! Back to me!" Chris interrupted their conversation, pleased to have the cameras back on me. "I believe the next contestant is arriving right… about… now…?"

Chris trailed off in shock, staring like all the other contestants were at the girl who just arrived on the dock.

Heather was staring in astonish at her long tan wig, wondering why anyone would buy something like that.

Harold was observing her red cat-like contacts, pondering where she bought them.

Izzy was laughing in delight at her tails, deliberating if she should buy some.

Noah was the first to speak, his voice quivering in shock: "McLean, you choose a _Cosplayer_?"

"My name is Willow, smartass, not 'a _Cosplayer_'. But technically, you are correct. I'm a Cosplayer. Got a problem with that? Oh, and hey Chip!" Willow directed the last part to Chris, smirking.

He groaned in annoyance. "Great, another contestant who can't remember my name!"

Will shrugged. "Actually, Chris McLean, I only did that to piss you off."

She straightened her artificial tan fur dress and walked over towards Gail, aware that everyone's eyes were on her. She studied his army outfit, he studied her Cosplay outfit, and they came to a silent agreement not to say anything.

"Chris, why do you look surprised? I mean, you saw her audition tape, didn't you?" Courtney demanded.

"I, er… well, uh…" Chris scratched the back of his head.

"He saw the word 'Cosplayer' and he figured it'd be a hot girl in skimpy clothing. He didn't need to see her audition form to know that he was accepting her," Gwen explained the host's stuttering.

"Guys and their one-track minds," Bridgette sighed.

"Damn straight," Heather agreed, earning her suspicious glances from everybody.

"Heather's agreeing with people. The world has gone mad. Anyone up for a game of poker?"

The newest new camper's appearance turned less heads than the camper preceding him. With his black and white plaid shirt, bright red pants, and a dark blue hat covering his black hair, he looked ready to hit the nearest casino... which wasn't too far out of character for him. The only things strange and unnerving about him were his bright blue-purple eyes.

"Poker?" Duncan scoffed. "The only poker I play is when the loser also loses some clothing."

"Strip poker?" Yale smirked.

"You're on!" Duncan grinned back.

"Yale, you remember what the producers told you, right?" Chris warned.

He just rolled his eyes. "Please McLean, if I had extra money to gamble with, I wouldn't even be here risking my life and sanity on this show."

Most of the other contestants muttered in agreement.

"Well, dude, listen to what I'm saying: any sort of gambling or strip poker brings in the ratings like you wouldn't believe –"

"And more ratings means a larger budget," Cody sighed.

"And a larger budget means more hair products," Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Not to mention more and better food," Owen smiled.

To the amused and surprised looks from the campers, Cody just answered, "We've heard the same lines from the Boss about every other hour."

Yale shrugged and walked over towards Gail and Willow.

"Gail," Gail said, fist bumping Yale's hand.

"Do I even want to know?" Yale asked, looking at Willow. She flipped him off and stormed away from the group.

"I guess I don't want to know."

"Know what, mister?" a young, feminine voice asked.

She stepped off the boat and onto the dock, nervously running a hand through her long pink hair. Despite the fact that her hair was an odd color, most other campers had to look twice to find her. I guess she'd be a lot more noticeable if she were taller than four feet.

"Okay, really Chris McLean? Even I will find it troubling to beat an eight year old girl," Heather snapped, alternating between glaring at the host and at the grey-eyed young girl.

She straightened her white blouse and black sweater and dusted off her black skirt, ignoring Heather's harsh words. Finally she said, "Who are you and what have you done with the cruel-hearted Heather from season one? She wouldn't be guilty about beating someone like me."

"Great, she's not just short, young, and pink-haired, but she's as sarcastic as Noah!" Heather complained, throwing her hands up dramatically. "Why did your 'mommy' and 'daddy' let you join this show? And you, McLean, what were you thinking when you choose her?"

"Mommy and Daddy don't care what I do. Thanks for bringing up a sore subject, Heather. Mommy said that as long as I continued studying for school, I could join," the young girl smiled sadly and held up a textbook and book-bag she was holding.

Heather just snorted in disbelief. "I don't trust you.

"Heather, you leave…?" Bridgette trailed off, looking at the girl.

"My name's Rose, Bridgette!" she answered happily.

"Heather, you leave Rose alone!" Bridgette warned.

"Rose has certain qualities we look for in campers," Chris explained, his smirk growing.

"You mean her mommy and daddy gave you a lot of money so they could dump her here?" Duncan asked, causing Courtney to elbow him hard.

"Don't be rude, you ogre!" she snapped at him.

"Ah, but I'm _your_ rude ogre," he whispered back.

"I may be young, but I'm going to try my best!" the young Rose smiled happily.

"Sure, sure, Rose. Just go stand over there by those other losers, will ya?" Chris said with a wave of his hand.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Certain Qualities? Like determination? Or something more sinister?**

**Gail** – After living on the streets and in forests, I think I have what it takes to handle anything Chris McLean and Chef Hatchet can throw at me. /He cracks his knuckles, looking smug/ Bring it on.

**Beth** – I wath juthst trying to be nithe. He doeth not theem very friendly to me, though. I wonder if thomething hath happened to him.

**Noah** – A Cosplayer? Seriously? What was going through that idiotic host's head, huh? Guys and their one-track minds… /He sighs, rolls his eyes, and freezes/ Wait, no, I'm a guy too. I'm not gay, not _gay_!

/Someone knocks on the confessional door/ "Yeah, yeah, sure Noah. What_ever_ you say. Now can you get out of the confessional? Some of us want a turn, ya know!"

**Willow** – So far no one even knows what I'm supposed to be. Idiots, all of them. I would expect people like Cody, or Harold, or Noah to recognize me, but they're too hung up on the fact that Chris choose a Cosplayer. What the hell's wrong with a Cosplayer? /She crosses her arms, peeved/ Idiots.

**Yale** – I didn't even want to sign up for Total Drama Impossible. My friend Jenny – no, not that kind of friend, she doesn't like guys – snuck up on me while I was playing some slot machines, playing and winning might I add. But now that I'm here, I might as well get to know some of the contestants. After all,_ some_body should have something worth gambling with.

**Duncan** – I like that Yale dude, and I certainly wouldn't mind playing some strip poker, especially if Princess joins us. Oh, the other contestants? /He waves his hand dismissively/ Everyone knows that a veteran, someone who has experience at the kind of games McLean plays with our minds, will win.

**Bridgette** – What is up with Heather? I usually don't talk about people like this, but I can't help but wonder what's going on in her mind. First, she's nice to everyone, agreeing with people and offering to help. But then comes along sweet Rose, and Heather turns back into that mean, rude, cold-hearted girl from season one.

**Beth and Rose** – **Rose** – /She sounds close to tears/ Why doesn't Heather like me? What did I ever do to her?

**Beth **– Don't worry Rothe! Heather doethn't like anyone. Everyone elthe liketh you!

**Rose** – It's just… I admired Heather, for her strategizing, not for her cruelness. B-b-but she hates me now.

**Heather** – Yeah, I know, some people are probably wondering why the heck I don't trust that little eight-year-old. Two words: Younger brother. And I have a feeling there's something Rose and McLean aren't telling us.

* * *

"This is all very heartwarming and such, but let's not forget the real star of the show: me," Chris said. "Now let's all welcome the next contestant: Collins!"

The pale girl brushed her long black hair out of her green eyes and smiled. She grabbed her luggage and walked down the dock of shame. She glared at Heather, stared confused at Rose, and smiled at Yale and Willow; but she didn't say anything.

A couple people stared at the girl in the icy-blue hoodie and jean skirt who was not talking, and several others glanced towards Chris for an explanation. He shrugged.

"Dudette, what is _up_?" Geoff shouted.

She smirked and pointed up.

"How are _you_?"

She shrugged, but after glancing at the boy standing next to her – Yale – she grinned at Geoff.

"So, uh, dude, why aren't you speaking?" Geoff wondered, with several people nodding in agreement.

"Prithee, good sir, she bid thou would stop'th badgering her with thy questions."

Everybody turned towards the sixth camper to arrive. She gracefully stepped off the boat, making sure not to get her short, elegant purple dress tangled up. She tucks her bright, fire red hair behind her ears, and smiled at everybody.

"Good day, Sirs and Mistresses… and Chris McLean," she said, smiling at everybody but shooting a glare at the host.

"This is Lady Fire, everyone. She's a mind-reader," Chris snickered.

"Thou still doubt'th thine ability?" Fire asked.

"Lady Fire, you're psychotic too?" Izzy shouted, running up to her.

"Lady Izzy, I believe thou have'th mistaken psychotic for psychic."

"No," Izzy laughed, "I'm pretty sure my therapist said psychotic. I told him that couldn't be, because my ability only works –"

"On Wednesday and Sunday? Thou art surprised, Lady Izzy, that I knew'th that? Doubt thine ability not."

"You and I have so much in common! We both have red hair and green eyes, for one!"

"Thy art correct, Lady Izzy. And to answer thy question, I did'st not dye thine hair," Fire stated, standing next to the other new campers.

Collin looked at Fire. Fire thought about what she said – er, thought – and nodded, saying, "Not a bad idea, Lady Collins."

"How are you doing that? And why are you dressed like some medieval freak?" Heather demanded.

Fire responded mildly, "Nay, there be'st no trickery, Lady Heather, to thine ability to sense what thou art thinking. I know'st not of how it happened, but thou must admit, it art a rather handy talent to have'th."

"But why –"

"I do not believe I need'st tell thou anything about thine past, Lady Heather," Fire answered coolly, focusing her attention back on the approaching boat. "If any of thou art wondering, the newest camper Aaron is about to arrive."

Indeed, a tall and pale black-haired boy stepped off the boat, grinning. "My name's –"

"Aaron," several campers shouted.

Aaron looked confused. "How'd you –"

"Her," the campers answered again, pointing at Fire. Aaron's dark grey eyes amusedly found Fire's green ones.

Fire answered his unspoken question. "Mind-reader."

If Aaron found this shocking at all, he didn't let on. He swung his blue hoodie over his hair, straightened out his jeans, and walked over to the other campers. He glanced at Willow, noticing her strange Cosplay outfit, and smirked. "Hey there beautiful."

Willow scoffed and stuck out her tongue. "Get lost."

"So what exactly are you supposed to be? A fox?" **[1]**

"No, I'm not a fox, you idiot! Now do me a favor and leave me alone!"

"Rather anti-social, are you not?" Aaron asked, looking completely unfazed.

"Well, if you have a problem with me being _anti-social_," she snarled, storming over towards him, fist raised menacingly, tails swinging behind her, "why don't I have my fist become social with your face?"

Aaron took a step back from her, his smirk still there. "Whoa there tiger."

Despite Gail and Collins holding Willow back, Aaron would be dead, if glares could kill. The awkward silence was interrupted by a scream.

"Izzy, eh, wha-AHHHHHH!"

Everyone, including the furious Willow and the amused (but slightly frightened) Aaron, turned around to see Izzy in the process of glomping Ezekiel, causing both her and Ezekiel to fall into the water.

"Does that happen often?" Aaron asked.

Willow smirked at him evilly, taking a step towards him. "By that, do you mean a girl tackling a guy, sending them both into the ocean?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

"Why, yes, yes it does," Willow answered, before tackling him, sending them over the edge of the dock and into the waters below.

"In retrospect, I probably should'st have warned poor Ezekiel and Aaron that was'st coming," Fire sighed.

"Milady, you'd warn me if a girl was about to tackle me right?" Harold asked.

"Please, dweeb, no girl wants to tackle you," Duncan smirked.

"I would'st, Harold, and I am sorry thy Lady LeShawna is not here. Duncan, thou might find it in thy best interest to stop'st thinking like so," Fire answered.

"Why are Izzy, Homeschool, some girl with tails, and some guy in the ocean? And am I the only one that found that sentence strange at all?" the eight new camper to arrive asked.

"Most likely!" Izzy said, climbing onto the dock and dragging a soaking Ezekiel with her.

"Izzy, I'm afraid to ask, but where's your pet snake? I don't really want to go surfing if there's a poisonous snake on the loose," Bridgette asked, looking around nervously.

"Don't worry Bridgette. Noah-san is taking good care of her!" Izzy answered and pointed towards said bookworm, who currently was holding said blue snake. He didn't seem too happy about it.

"Lady Izzy? Mayhap thou take thy snake back from Sir Noah, for he look'th rather uncomfortable," Fire said.

"That, eh, was…" Ezekiel trailed off, as if he couldn't think of the words to describe being attacked by an overly-happy Izzy and toppling into the murky ocean. Izzy, however, could.

"Awesome? Amazing? Life-changing?" she laughed, taking back her snake from Noah and placing it back where it belongs (where she keeps her snake, we'll never know).

"Try life-threatening," Noah muttered.

"Try incredible!" Willow shouted, climbing back onto the dock. "Now I see why you love glomping people so much, Iz. I'm going to have to do that again. I probably should have been more careful with my clothes, though."

"As long as you practice glomping people besides me, I really couldn't care less," groaned Aaron. He collapsed on the dock, but quickly struggled to stand up. Once he regained his balance he scooted away from the edge of the dock and Willow.

"Hey, hey, not cool dudes! I believe it's my turn to be the center of attention again!" Chris shouted, smiling at the camera. This cued another round of groans from his interns.

"What about us?" Gwen demanded.

"Do we get any lines?" Cody wondered.

"Everybody here is AWESOME!" Owen exclaimed, causing those near him to cover their ears.

"I'm pretty sure everyone's forgotten about you," Heather whispered to the newest camper who wasn't saying anything.

She blew her curly purple hair out of her matching purple eyes and smirked. "Better for me that way. The less impression I make, the less chance of being voted off first."

Heather observed the new girl in a different light, taking in her entirely black cloths. "I like the way you think, but judging by your almost ninja-like appearance, people probably aren't going to forget you that quickly."

"Congratulations, Heather. Most people can't tell what I am immediately."

"What are you?" Heather insisted softly, as not to draw attention from the loud crowd to them.

"A ninja," she simply stated and walked off.

"When did you get here?" Chris demanded.

"Several minutes ago actually."

"Sorry for, uh, not noticing you?" Chris apologized, scratching the back of his head.

She laughed. "Chris McLean apologizing? Are you sure you haven't been brainwashed by any pirates recently? Besides, I take the fact that you didn't notice me as a compliment. After all, a successful ninja strives to be undetected."

"Oh, yeah! You're that Valery girl, the ninja!"

Groaning, she face palmed. "Should I feel honored that you remembered most of my name? Or insulted that you really have no clue? It's Valley, but yes, I am indeed a ninja."

Harold's face lit up. "You're a ninja? A real live ninja?"

"Last time I checked, I was still alive."

"Harold, I thought you were afraid of ninjas?" Bridgette curiously asked.

"No, I'm afraid of surprise ninja attacks! Gosh!" Harold snapped.

"Hey, dude, lay off Bridge! She was just asking a question!" Geoff defended his girlfriend.

A flash of annoyance appeared on Bridgette's face. "Uh, thanks Geoff, but I'm sure Harold meant no offence. Anyway, I can take care of myself."

"Idiots!" Harold quietly muttered under his breath.

"This is all very touching and stuff, but c'mon guys, pay attention! These people are our new rivals, our new enemies!" Courtney interjected.

"So, Valley, can you tell me about ninjas? What do you do for a living? Who do you work for?" Harold asked in amazement.

"I dunno Harold. The Secret Service wouldn't be too happy if I gave out any important information on national television," Valley mused.

"Secret Service? Gosh!" Harold gasped.

"Secret Service? But you cannot be older than fifteen years old, miss," the young Rose pointed out.

"Chris McLean, why the hell is there an eight year old competing?" Valley demanded.

"Ehehe," Chris nervously laughed, "if you're having problems with the eight year old, then…"

"McLean, thou did'st not! I do not care how advanced he may be, this is no place for children!" Fire exclaimed.

"To all of those who are wondering what the heck she's talking about, that is Lady Fire, and she's a mind-reader. Of course, that still doesn't explain about this 'he' she speaks of, but she's not crazy," Gwen declared.

"Well, not more so than anybody here for signing up for this," Cody chuckled.

"Thou will'st see soon enough," Fire muttered darkly.

There was an awkward pause where everyone considered what that could mean, a pause interrupted by the ninth new camper. Stepping of the boat, everybody could see he was quite the looker: blonde hair, hazel eyes, the works. He just happened to be rather short, compared to most of the other teens.

Dusting imaginary dust of his jeans and leather jacket and flipping out the collar on his hot pink shirt, the new guy strutted over towards Willow.

"Hey there beautiful," he said, ignoring the warning sighs Aaron was giving him, "I'd play dress-up with you any day. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

Willow smiled sweetly at him. "Really? Cause I'd put F and U together."

Several campers laughed at his expense, but he didn't seem put out. He just shrugged and strolled over to Valley.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" he tried again.

Valley smirked. "No, but it hurt when they clipped my wings for working with the devil."

He blinked in surprise at her response and slowly backed away from her diabolical smile. Several more contestants laughed.

He then approached Collins. "Do you have a map babe, 'cause I got lost in your eyes."

She pretended to think about it for a second, and then stomped on his foot, taking a half-step closer to Yale – something that didn't go unnoticed by Yale.

The new camper jumped back in surprise, stuck out his tongue, and attempted to swagger over to Fire. Many campers laughed, either at his failed attempt at a swagger or Collins reaction.

"You must be in the wrong place – the Miss Universe pageant is over there," He said, jerking his thumb in some random direction.

"Really, compete in it often, Xavier?" Fire responded back, feinting interest.

He sighed in exasperation and walked over to the veteran girls. Duncan quickly wrapped an arm around Courtney, and Geoff did the same with Bridgette. The short blonde – Xavier, if what Fire said was indeed correct – spun on his heels towards Heather and Izzy. Panicking, Heather grabbed Noah's hand and glared at Xavier. Ezekiel was still soaking wet and leaning up against an equally soaking wet Izzy.

Frustrated, Xavier glanced at Gwen. Her glare was enough to make him reconsider. Grudgingly, he walked over to Beth. Before he could even say anything, she said, annoyed, "On no you don't. I'm nobody'th tenth back-up girl. You got that, Xthavier?"

Chris walked up to Xavier and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, dude."

Xavier shrugged off Chris's hand, doubtful. "Really, McLean?"

"Yeah, brah! You only stuck out with ten girls straight in a row! Of course, not everyone can be as amazing as me, but you'll have another couple times to fail again with other contestants."

"That's…. reassuring."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Well, It Reassured Us**

**Valley** – I'm finally here, on Camp Wawanakwa, and I don't plan on being eliminated anytime soon. Do you know what 500,000 dollars could get me? A lot of throwing stars, that's for sure. Seriously though, was I the only one who found that question strange whatsoever?

**Fire and Collins – Collins **– /She looks at Fire/

**Fire** – I agree. The people who art here art quite queer, but most of them have'th good intentions, Lady Collins.

**Collins** – /She thinks and looks at Fire again/

**Fire** –Yes, I art fairly certain that he would love'th to be thy friend.

**Xavier** – What is with the girls on this island? Ten flat-out refusals… /He winks at the camera/ Still though, not everybody's here yet. You never know.

**Willow** – /Still soaking wet/ That Chris McLean will get what's coming to him one day, that's for sure. Anyway, the other contestants? The quiet girl and the mind-reader seem okay, that ninja will be a good competitor, but I don't know what to think about Rose.

/She sighs and scratches her head/ McLean would never accept an eight year old girl unless there's something in return for him. I mean, really, how much drama could the midget cause?

**Yale** – Aaron and Willow certainly _hit_ it off, didn't they? Ha, ha, yes that was very punny. /He shakes his head/ I'm just going to stop with the jokes now. Xavier's a pretty cool guy, short though, and his pickup lines are cheesier than a Mickey D's cheeseburger.

**Aaron** – /Still quite wet/ Geez, what is with that Cosplayer? I compliment her, and she tackles me? I'm completely soaked, for crying out loud! Pretty hot, if you ask me. Hmmmm? The other contestants? /He waves his hand dismissively/ Eh, who cares?

**Gail** – I've heard all about Chef's cooking. From what the original Total Drama Islanders have said, it's bad. I'm looking forward to challenging it. If I can survive his cooking, I can survive anything that sadistic host can throw at us!

**Rose **– The truth? Mommy and Daddy have a really important business trip this summer in China. They needed somewhere to drop me. I don't know how they got Chris to accept me, but I wouldn't be surprised if money exchanged hands. /She waves at the camera/ Hi Mommy, hi Daddy, hi Nanny!

* * *

"Chris, where is thy next competitor? Should he not be here by now?" Fire asked above everybody's laughing.

"He should be here, but –" Chris said, once everyone quieted down.

"But there have'th been some difficulties, I know… And I am sorry that thee reading thy mind upsets thou."

"But I didn't –"

"Thou did not have to say anything, Chris McLean. I know," Fire simply states.

After looking at Fire for a couple moments, Chris shook his head. "Since there have been some difficulties with the tenth contestant arriving, we're moving on."

"On to what?" Aaron demanded.

"The next batch of contestants, that's what!" Chris shouted. "The first of these contestants is Roxanne!"

"Next batch? What makes these contestants so different than the other new contestants?" Courtney repeated.

"They just are, okay?"

"That makes… no sense what so ever," Gail muttered. Several people nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't have to, Mr. _Survivalist_, because here she comes!"

The new contestant stepped of the boat, absentmindedly juggling apples.

"If she's just the first of these new contestants, I really don't want to meet the others," Heather muttered.

Roxanne quickly straightened out her long black braid, blew her neon pink bangs out of her face, and glared at Heather with her almond-shaped stormy grey eyes, never stopping juggling.

"I can hear, you know!" Roxanne snapped.

"What are you wearing, though? You look weirder than Weird Goth Girl Gwen!" Heather replied.

Roxanne looked down at her red and gold corset, short black jacket, and black skirt. Red and gold striped stockings and black heeled Mary Jane's adorned her legs, and a black lace ribbon choker was tied around her neck. Roxanne then looked back up at Heather and shrugged, causing her gold coin earrings and bangles to jingle.

"Sheesh, Chris, where did you pick up this contestant? The circus?" Duncan asked.

"Exactly," Chris smirked.

It took a couple minutes for the campers to register what Chris had said, and then a silence descended over the contestants.

"Can I – can I have some?" Owen broke the silence, his puppy dog eyes following Roxanne's juggling.

"Owen!" Roxanne shouted happily. She pocketed her juggling toys and cartwheeled over to him. "Nice to meet you!"

Cody smiled back at her. "You too, Roxanne!"

Gwen just muttered something along the lines of, "Same here, loud circus girl," but Roxanne didn't notice. The next camper had arrived.

Quietly stepping off the boat, his calculating dark blue eyes looking around, the new camper approached Chris McLean.

"Draven, you do remember what the producers told you about hacking into their computers and rigging the challenges in your favor, right?" Chris warned, uncertain.

Draven waved his hand dismissively. "Of course I remember. I happen to have an IQ greater than the amount of hair products I use – although the same cannot be said for you, Chris McLean."

This earned several laughs from the other contestants. Chris rolled his eyes.

He shrugged, ran a hand through his dark blue hair, and walked over to the campers. Looking at Gail, Draven said, "17/33." Glancing at Willow, he muttered, "2/33." Spying Izzy, he calculated, "0/33."

"What are you talking about?" Willow demanded.

Draven shrugged again, answering, "The odds of which you're eliminated first."

"You're saying I'm most likely to go home first?" Gail asked.

"17 out of 33 is a majority, so yes I am."

"You don't even know me! Why does everybody always hate the homeless person, huh?" Gail threw his hands up in the air.

Draven ignored Gail's outburst, instead making sure his white long-sleeved collar shirt underneath his black tee shirt and black pants was straightened out. Eventually he sighed. "I don't hate you. I'm simply stating a calculated observation."

"Well, in that case, can you calculate the odds of me leaving first?" Roxanne asked, strolling closer to Draven.

"1 out of 47," Draven smirked back.

"Wrong!" Roxanne laughed, spinning in circles. "The correct answer is 0, 'cause there's no way my team's losing the first challenge!"

"Rather confident, are you not?"

"I dunno, why don't you 'calculate' the answer yourself?"

"Maybe I will," Draven shot back.

"Awww, I knew it was the right thing for me to sign up for Total Drama Impossible!" somebody cheered.

When everybody looked at the next camper, she blushed, averted her sky blue eyes, and started twirling her strawberry blonde bob. "Um, hi?"

"Everybody, this is Rosetta. Now Rosetta, remember your promise. That's the reason we accepted you, ya know," Chris reminded her.

"What promise?" Roxanne asked.

Tugging on her white and pink stripped shirt, Rosetta answered shyly, "I promised to hook up at least three couples?"

Draven and Roxanne looked at each other and looked away, annoyed.

"The chances of me actually liking her –" Draven grumbled, before Roxanne threw her hands up in annoyance.

"Don't even," she warned, stomping away.

Rosetta shrugged and bent down to tie her brown loafers. When she stood up again, Cody was right next to her.

"So you hook people up?" he asked, interested. "Maybe you could find me somebody, eh?"

"Hey!" Izzy shouted. "Nobody says 'eh' except Homeschool, eh!"

Rosetta and Cody looked at her.

"I guess I could try, Cody," Rosetta answered.

Cody looked hopeful as Rosetta walked over next to Roxanne and Draven.

"I didn't come here to hook up, I came to win," Draven warned Rosetta, but she was too busy waving at Noah to listen.

The next camper walked down the dock of shame, a bored look in his grey-green eyes. He looked around, observing his new competition, and shrugged. "Interesting."

"This, everybody, is Alex," Chris announced.

"Whatever," he shrugged. He walked over to the other campers, his red Van sneakers silent on the wooden dock. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his khaki Capri shorts and waited for the next contestant to arrive.

"And you called me anti-social?" Willow muttered to Aaron, for once not looking like she was going to murder him.

"Insult each other on your own time, okay? The next camper is here," Chris shouted, pointing to something on the horizon.

That something turned out not to be a boat, but a Hawaiian-looking boy wearing an open-buttoned shirt and light green long shorts surfing a wave up to the island. Once he landed gracefully on the dock, he shook out his wavy black hair and pumped his fist.

"That, dude, was amazing!" he exclaimed.

"Tan, that's the most impressive entrance yet! And, uh, dude, where's your boat?" Chris shouted.

Tan laughed. "I ditched the boat back on the mainland, McLean. Besides," he frowned, "those things are incredibly bad for the environment."

"Wait, Tan as in _the_ Tan Asani?" Heather asked.

"I'm not so sure about the _'the'_ part dude, but uh, how'd you know my name?" Tan answered, his South Pacific accent strong.

"You would not believe all the rumors circulating around you."

"Uh-huh," Tan said absentmindedly, for he just noticed his favorite contestant: Bridgette.

"So, Tan, you're a surfer and an environmentalist?" Bridgette questioned excitedly.

"Bridgette, it is awesome to meet you! You were – are – my favorite camper!" Tan ran up to her. "And yeah, dude, I live for surfing."

Bridgette blushed and gasped. "You too?"

"Definitely! I've been surfing for years, dude. What can rival the thrill of having the wind in your hair –"

"The ocean spray in your face –"

"Your feet dangling over the edge of your board?"

"Nothing!" Bridgette finished, and they laughed.

Duncan nudged Geoff, motioning to how quickly the two of them were bonding. Geoff – in one of his rare moments of understanding – quickly called out, "Babe, come here! Duncan's got something to show you!"

A flash of annoyance crossed Tan's face, but Bridgette shook her head, "Maybe later, Geoff? Tan and I are talking right now."

Geoff sighed in defeat. Courtney sighed in exasperation. "Really, Geoff? Bridgette's just getting to know a fellow surfer. Believe me, she's not the kind of girl to hook up with another guy behind her boyfriend's back."

"Hi everyone!" the twenty-sixth camper to arrive called out.

Gail, the closest to her, helped her down from the boat. She smiled at him and pretended to curtsy.

"Monet, Monet, so glad you got here. We need more pretty people on the show, ya know!" Chris chuckled, ignoring several dirty looks from the other campers.

"It is amazing to be here, ya'll!" Monet giggled. "There ain't any of them city-folk skyscrapers here, so I think I'll fit in perfectly!"

She looked rather similar to Lindsay, with her hourglass figure and ocean-blue eyes, but Monet was clearly a brunette.

"This place is so beautiful," Monet exclaimed, looking around. Several of the veterans coughed in amusement.

"Is she Lindsay version 2.0?" Gwen whispered to Duncan, causing a jealous Courtney to whirl around and glare at her.

Monet spotted Bridgette and Tan both laughing and standing near to each other. She cooed. "Aw, you're Bridgette right? So you must be Geoff! You two are so cute together!"

The look on the real Geoff's face resembled Noah's when he was glomped by Izzy. Bridgette blushed and started stammering, quickly scooting away from Tan, who thankfully kept his head.

"I'm not Geoff dude, I'm one of the new contestants, Tan, although I can see some resemblance. It's a pleasure to meet you, Monet, but Bridgette and I are just friends," Tan quickly explained.

"So then you're single?" Monet questioned Tan, trying to hold in her laughter.

Tan laughed. "For now, Country… Do you mind if I call you Country, dude?"

Monet shook her head, smiling, and walked over to the other new contestants.

"Hey there, what's your name? Mine's Monet, but Chris already told you that, I bet," Monet asked another camper.

"Roxanne?" answered Roxanne.

"I really like your outfit, Roxi! Can I call you Roxi?" Monet laughed again. "Excuse me, _may_ I call you Roxi?"

Duncan whispered back to Gwen, "You were saying Gwen? At least Country here knows some grammar."

Roxi broke out in a big grin. "Really, Monet? Thanks! I really like your clothes too!"

Monet looked down at her light purple tank top, short white shorts, and white wedges, and laughed, "Thanks Roxi! I know we're going to be besties!"

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Wanna Be Our Bestie?**

**Monet** – I don't get why all the campers from Total Drama Island complained all the time! The island reminds me of home, back in Georgia, with beautiful skies and all the wonderful nature! I'll never get city folk.

**Alex** – The other contestants? I didn't really pay attention to anybody else. If they were important, they would've made an impression on me. I don't really care either way. Either I actually become friends with people, or I end up using them to get further. I know everybody else probably said this, but I'll say it again.

/He yawns, stretches, and smirks/ I came here to win.

**Courtney** – So far none of the new campers have struck me as being a worthy rival. Well, that's not entirely true. Willow has determination, and that's something you need to win, and that Alex guy? He's a little too quiet for my taste. I can handle all of them, though. I was, after all, a C.I.T. you know! **[2]**

**Rosetta** – Did you see the way that dark blue-haired boy and that black-haired girl were arguing? Classic start to any relationship. Just look at the infamous Duncan and Courtney. Now I can only hope I can find someone worth _my_ time, if you get what I'm saying. /Rosetta blushes and winks at the camera/

**Ezekiel and Izzy – Izzy** – So, Homeschool, what'd you think of the new campers?

**Ezekiel** – Izzy… Why'd yoo' drag me into here, eh?

**Izzy** – Well, you didn't look like you were going to come in here by yourself, and no one else was going to do it.

**Ezekiel** – I doo'nt knoo'… /He pulls his toque over his eyes/

**Izzy** – Well, I thought Roxanne looked really cool! I wonder if she could teach me how to breathe fire!

**Tan** – Actually, being honest, I don't really see how anybody could mistake me for Geoff, dude. I guess it was because Bridgette and I were talking with each other? /He swoons/ Bridgette is… wow. A surfer, an environmentalist, and just a tiny bit weird. If only Geoff wasn't…

/He shakes his head/ Focus, Tan, focus. You two can be friends, right? Great, now I'm talking to myself. Geez, I bet Geoff doesn't have this kind of problem.

**Geoff** – Don't panic Geoff. After all, _you_'re the one she makes out with, right? And no surfing environmentalist is gonna sway Bridgette's heart!

/He looks at the camera/ I'm talking to myself again, aren't I? I bet that Tan doesn't have this kind of problem.

**Draven** – If I did the math correct – and who am I kidding, of course I did – then the greatest possibility is that I shall not be in the final ten, but I won't be in the first eighteen eliminated. Of course, I do believe in miracles, and it's never too late to play dirty. On a different note, some of these contestants require further investigation. The better you know your competition, the greater your chance of winning.

**Harold** – Judging by my calculations, Draven does seem to be correct. The brown-haired new guy, Gail I think, does have the highest probability of being eliminated first. Gosh! I'd be scared if that were me! Of course, judging by my calculations again, the chances of me being killed by Courtney before the season is over are approximately 1 out of 2. Not very reassuring.

**Roxanne** - /spinning in circles/ Draven's really smart, but he's also kind of, I dunno, closed up? He wasn't exactly handing out information about his past, know what I mean? But then again, no one else was either. Monet's really friendly, but I dunno how far 'really friendly' is going to get you.

* * *

"Moving on from a budding love triangle, here's the next camper!" Chris shouted, gesturing to the tan and freckled girl cartwheeled off the boat.

"H – E – Y there, Valerina is my name! And I've come to win McLean's sadist mind game!" she cheered.

Duncan quietly wolf whistled, muttering to Gwen, "Forget about Country over there, dye this girl's hair blonde instead of black with pink streaks and she could be Lindsay's twin any day."

"Glad to see you're enthusiastic about the show, Val!"

Valerina sent a glare his way, her voice suddenly cold. "I don't believe I asked you for your opinion, Chris McLean."

Chris looked miffed, but she was already walking down the dock to the other campers.

Several boys were staring unsubtly at her chest, and she sighed.

"My eyes are up here," she snapped at Xavier, motioning to her light brown eyes.

"Huh?" Xavier asked, snapping out of his trance. "Eyes? What?"

"So are you some kind of pinky-goth cheerleader?" Roxanne asked, referring to Valerina's pink cut-off tee, pink and black cheerleading skirt, and black sneakers.

"Bubble-Goth, not 'some kind of pinky-goth', but I, like, am a cheerleader," Valerina responded, twirling her hair.

"Look Gwen, you can have a Gothic buddy!" Courtney said sarcastically, faking enthusiasm.

"So, are we starting anytime soon?" Valerina asked to nobody in particular.

"Patience, Val," Chris began, before being interrupted by Valerina: "Again, still wasn't asking for _your_ opinion, and don't call me Val."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have asked the question if you didn't want someone answering!" Valley shot back.

"I'm not going to stand here and be insulted by some girl dressed like a wannabe ninja with purple hair," Valerina responded coldly.

"Then please, by all means, sit down," Gail laughed.

Amidst all the clamoring and arguing, the twenty-seventh camper to arrive quietly snuck off the boat, ducking his head as to not be noticed. Despite the fact that he was more than six feet tall, not to mention albino, no one spotted him.

Slouching to cover his height, he pulled down his white hood-like hat over his grey eyes, the black panda-like ears quivering in the breeze. He was too busy staring at his black dress shoes to notice someone small walking over to him.

"Hello, mister," Rose smiled.

"H-hi?" he quietly stammered.

"It's nice to meet you. My name is Rose, but you can call me Rainbow."

"I-it's nice to meet you too, R-Rainbow. I'm A-Artair?"

"No one else really saw you arrive, did they? I wonder why."

"I – I'm good at blending in?"

"It's quite a handy talent to have. I like your clothes."

Artair looked quite surprised. "T-thank you, Rainbow. I l-like yours t-too?"

Rainbow nodded absentmindedly. "Thank you. Well, I'll talk to you later Artair."

With that, the young girl walked away from the albino, leaving him confused as to why the heck there was an eight-year-old on the island.

"Dudes, dudes, settle down!" Chris called out over the racket. He noticed the boat leaving the island and asked in confusion, "Did anyone notice the next camper arrive?"

All the campers looked around, trying to find the new face. Artair just slouched down even lower, tugging on his white button-up tee shirt and grey vest. No one noticed the tall boy with the white hair.

"I saw him," Rosetta shyly answered, a blush spreading across her face. "He was Mr. Tall, Pale, and Handsome."

Several people laughed with her, still trying to find the recently dubbed Mr. Tall, Pale, and Handsome, but once again, no one stood out as being new.

"Hi?" Artair called out. Nobody heard him. He sighed and walked up to Chris.

"There you are! When'd you get here?" Chris exclaimed.

Artair shrugged.

"Everybody, this is, uh…?"

"Artair," he quietly muttered to Chris.

"I knew that dude. Everybody, this is Artair. Artair, this is everybody."

He meekly waved hello, but few people noticed. One of those people was Rosetta, who shyly waved back.

"Kyle, Kyle, welcome dude!" Chris shouted, welcoming the next camper.

Several people blinked; sure that Justin's brother had just stepped off the boat. Indeed, Kyle's tan skin, short brown hair, and vibrant brown eyes did remind most people of Justin, but Kyle clearly spoke.

"Hey everyone," he greeted, smiling.

"I like your shirt," Rose responded.

"Am I the only one wondering why there's a child on the island?" Kyle asked.

"Nope," several people answered.

"Okay then."

Indeed, Kyle's shirt was something an eight year old girl would like: a light blue tee shirt with a rainbow connecting a storm cloud and a normal white cloud. He grinned.

"Hey there, Kyle, how are you?" Valerina asked flirtatiously, skipping over to him and winking.

Kyle looked around uncomfortable. "I don't like… people like you?"

Valerina shrugged unhappily and walked back to the other new campers. Meanwhile, Kyle had just caught sight of his favorite veteran. He quickly walked over to her and smiled.

"Hi, Courtney. I'm Kyle, and I'm a really big fan of yours," he said sheepishly.

Courtney smiled at him, slightly surprised. "You are? That's great!"

"Yeah, the way you were a great leader, and a CIT to boot."

"Oh, well, it's nothing really. You just have to be prepared for these kinds of situations," Courtney blushed and explained.

Duncan regarded the new guy coldly, grunting at how well he and Courtney were getting along.

"Did you feel like you wanted to punch Tan in the face when he and Bridgette hit it off?" he muttered to Geoff.

"Chillax bro. I don't think that dude, uh, _likes_ girls," Geoff whispered back.

Duncan rolled his eyes, glancing at Courtney and Kyle. "Not really helping dude. 'Sides, you got a problem with gay people?"

"Naw man! Back home, people like him are the life of the party!"

Duncan snorted, and Geoff waved at Kyle.

"Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the magic of Tonia!" Chris announced, helping down the platinum blonde girl. She wore a pink spaghetti-strap top, light blue jean shorts, and high heel boots. Laughing nervously at what the host said, she grinned at everybody.

"Please, don't Chris," she whispered to him, happily hugging him.

Tonia walked down the dock, smiling and greeting everyone. She pulled Gwen and Owen in for a quick hug and kissed Cody on the cheek. "I've always been a fan of you three."

"Hey Tonia," someone said. She turned around and frowned slightly.

"Yes?" she sighed inwardly, preparing for some of Xavier's excessive flirting.

"Your eyes are beautiful," he said, smiling.

Tonia looked pleasantly surprised. She hadn't expected him to compliment her exotic silver eyes.

As if realizing that he was out of character, Xavier smirked. "So may I have a kiss too?"

Tonia winked at him and laughed. "We'll see."

She walked over to the other new campers and stood beside them, waiting for the next contestant to arrive.

"Be careful around Xavier," Yale quietly warned her.

"I'll do what I want, and I can take care of myself," she snapped back.

Yale shrugged.

"Here come'th Tommy, and if thou know'th what is good for thou, thou would'st not trust him," Fire whispered to Collins. She nodded her head in thanks.

"And here comes the next camper, Tommy. Now, everybody," Chris glanced sharply at the mind-reading Lady Fire, "treat Tommy right. He's only seven, after all."

"Again, Chrith, why the heck would you bring a thmall, inothent child onto Total Drama Ithland?"

"Well, Beth, first off, Tommy's not on Total Drama Island, he's on Total Drama Impossible. Second, Tommy also has some special qualities, like Rose, but his are slightly different," Chris chuckled.

Said child himself hopped off the boat. "Hi everwybody! My name's Tommwy. I cawn't beweive I'm here with all of the Twotal Dwama Iwand stawrs!"

"Awww!" cooed most of the girls at the short, black-haired kid.

"Special qualities? I'll believe it when I see it," Kyle muttered to Courtney.

She stopped smiling at Tommy, aware that what Kyle said was entirely true. "He's so innocent and young though! The only thing I'm worried about is that he's likely to become someone like Heather's pawn. We'll just have to wait and see."

Courtney and Bridgette walked over to Tommy and kneeled down before him, so they'd be at his eye level. He grinned and hugged them, but when they weren't looking, Tommy sneered over their shoulders at Kyle, his hazel eyes filled with dislike.

"Hello." Rose walked over to the other child.

"Hi thewre!"

"My name's Rose!" she smiled.

"I'm Tommwy, and I know we're gonna be the bewst of fwends!"

"Okey – dokey!"

The two kids skipped back over to the other contestants.

"Buzz Light-year is beast, little dude," Yale said, patting Tommy's head. He looked down at his Buzz Light-year shirt and smiled.

"Ahem, back over here now. Next up we have – well, Rose, I guess, again," Chris announced, scratching the back of his head.

"Rose, Rose, and Rosetta. Someone tell me I'm not the only one who sees the problems in that," Cody chuckled.

A pale girl dressed a black mini-skirt and green spaghetti strap top with green flats stepped onto the dock. Glaring at everybody, she walked over to the other campers.

"You should be happy I'm here, losers," she sneered at everybody.

"Great, another queen bee," Gwen muttered quite loudly.

"I'm not Heather; I'm not that desperate," Rose answered.

"I like your way of thinking," Gwen smirked.

Rose smiled happily, but quickly hid it behind a smirk. "Really? I like your make-up. Are your parents clowns?"

Everybody around the older Rose quickly scooted back, leaving her with a several-feet radius of solitude.

"Whatever," Rose rolled her dark brown eyes.

There were a couple minutes of awkward silence, which Owen ruined, shouting: "Only two more contestants until the challenge starts! This will be AWESOME!"

As if on cue, a spiky-haired redhead came swinging in on a vine. He crash-landed on the dock, jumped up, and laughed.

"Everybody, Kenneth –"

"It's Kai!" shouted the green-eyed boy in an oddly familiar voice.

"Everybody, _Kai_, Kai, everybody," Chris rolled his eyes. "And dude? Where the hell did the vine come from?"

There was the usual collection of hellos, but one girl's excited screams stood out.

"Kenneth!" Izzy exclaimed, glomping him.

"Izzy!" he shouted back happily.

"Do you know each other?" Aaron asked, glancing between the famous redhead girl in the green and the new redhead boy in the torn grey tee shirt and torn jeans.

"Kenneth –" Izzy began.

"It's _Kai!_" interrupted Kenneth.

"– here is my long lost cousin!" Izzy continued, ignoring her cousin. "I've only met him once when he was twelve! Together we fought off dinosaurs, and mountain lions, and saved that one town from those wild yetis, remember?"

Kenneth pulled out his machete from his scabbard attached to his left leg and started swinging it around. "Yeah! Those yetis were scared for life! Izzy and I still have some souvenirs back home, right Iz?"

"Yeah!" Izzy shouted, jumping up and down.

"Yep, those two are definitely related," Heather whispered to Noah.

"I think I'm going to be scared for life by the end of the season with those two here," he muttered back.

"Chris McLean, we are'th still missing one boy, Sir Zane. Do thou know'th where he is?" Fire asked him, once Kenneth and Izzy settled down.

"He, uh, actually should've arrived a long time ago?" Chris answered. "I'll call the Producers and see what's up."

"Wait, nay, something's approaching the island."

"What is this something?"

"Sir Zane is definitely on it, but it is different than your shabby boats."

"Thanks, psychic. Say, would you consider –"

"No."

"Thought so," Chris McLean sighed. "Anyway, everybody, the last camper to arrive is Zane, and he is here!"

Everybody turned around and watched a small wooden pirate boat pull up to the dock. A tall strawberry blonde boy with ocean-blue eyes stepped of the strange boat. Wearing a torn white shirt, yellow breeches tucked into black boots, and holding a sword, no one needed the black pirate hat to tell that Zane was a pirate.

Except perhaps Lindsay, but she wasn't there.

"A pirate, eh? This is about to get interesting," Draven quietly exclaimed.

A loud gasp was heard from one of the campers, and the before the contestants could realize what was going on, Zane had dropped to the floor as several ninja throwing stars sliced the air where he was milliseconds ago.

"Nuh-uh-uh, Valley," Chris laughed, smirking. "You can't kill one of the other campers… at least, not until you're both voted out, that is."

Ignoring the host, Zane jumped back on his feet and glared at her.

"I have a sword, and I be not afraid to use it, _Ninja_. Stay away or I won't be responsible for my actions," he warned, twirling said sword.

Valley scoffed. "I could defeat you with my hands tied behind my back, _Pirate_."

"You wish. All you landlubber ninjas think you can do anythin'."

"Bring it, then!" Valley shot back.

Chris sighed. "Guys, as many ratings as watching you two hack each other to pieces would bring, killing one another would bring instant elimination."

"Trading 500,000 dollars for one less _pirate_ in the world?" Valley exclaimed excitedly.

"Count me in," Zane added.

"I don't think we're getting anywhere with this," Chris muttered to his interns.

"You might want to set up a restraining order on then," Gwen answered.

"Yeah, if you don't suddenly want two less campers competing," Cody added.

"Owen, go and separate those two, will ya?" Chris asked.

The lovable oaf quickly stepped in between the archenemies. "C'mon guys, lighten up!"

"Why should I?" Zane grumbled.

"I'll be happy when he's gone," Valley responded.

"Well, I know something that'll cheer you up!" Chris exclaimed, turning to the camera. "Who's ready for a challenge?"

The groans from the campers were like music to Chris's ears.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – We Don't Have Ears**

**Beth** – I cannot wait for thith theathon! I know I'll go far, maybe even win! /She giggles/

**Tonia** – Despite people _warning_ me, I think Xavier means best. He looks like he could handle a punch, and I guess I could give him a chance.

**Valley** – That idiotic, slow pirate is no match for me. And. I. Hate. Pirates.

**Zane** – That lying, landlubber ninja be no match for me, mate. And. I. Hate. Ninjas.

**Tommy** – /He smirks at the camera/ These idiotic teenagers have no idea what's coming for them. /cue the evil laugh/

**Heather** – I don't trust Tommy. Not one bit. I know something's up with him. Of course, that doesn't matter. He thinks he has everyone fooled, I convince him to join an alliance with me, and suddenly I hold all the power. /She laughs/

**Draven** – The possibilities of Courtney killing Harold, Willow killing Aaron, or Valley and Zane killing each other are extremely high. /He sighs/ Well, that's not good.

**Noah** – /He glares at the camera and crosses his arms/ I still think I'm the only one Chris bothered to kidnap and throw into a body bag.

* * *

Again, I'm sorry if your character didn't get in. So many choices, so little space… Or however that saying goes.

So what do you think? If you have any problems with your character, let me know and I'll be sure to fix it in the next chapters!

**[1] – Whoever guesses what Willow is gets a cookie and shout out in the next chapter. I'll give you a hint: think video game wise.**

**[2] – We couldn't have the first challenge pass without Courtney making one remark about being a CIT.**

Also, new poll on my profile! Vote for who you want to/think will win!

Ciao!

~cometsgirl

Cheat Sheet:

Returning Veterans: **Beth**, **Bridgette**, **Courtney**, **Duncan**, **Ezekiel**, **Geoff**, **Harold**, **Heather**, **Izzy**, and **Noah**

Original Characters: **Aaron **the Loner, **Collins** the Silent One, **Fire** the Mind-Reader, **Gail** the Survivalist, **Rose** the Sweet Schoolgirl, **Valley** the Ninja, **Willow** the Cosplayer, **Xavier** the Casa Nova, **Yale **the Gambler, and **Zane** the Pirate

Fan Characters:

**Alex** the Indifferent One - **BeatHimUpQuietly**

**Artair** the Albino British Wallflower – **The Double-Faced Muse**

**Draven** the Intelligent Man of Mystery – **LazyAwesomeNinja**

**Kenneth** the Adventurer – **Enigma Dragon Warrior**

**Kyle** the Gay Bombshell – **Simply Dakota**

**Monet** the Southern Belle – **zackt2010**

**Rose** the One Hiding Her True Feelings - **SummerEliza**

**Rosetta** the Hopeless Romantic – **Zeida12**

**Roxanne** the Circus Chick – **XxXAlways-a-DreamerXxX**

**Tan** the Environmentalist – **TDI 4 Ever**

**Tommy **the Evil Prodigy Child – **Realityshowfan **

**Tonia** the Beauty Queen – **SwEeTsUmMeRlOvE **

**Valerina** the Jeerleader – **QueenofWeird1995**


	3. Ep 1, Pt 2: The Scavenger Hunt of Doom

**Total Drama Island: Total Drama Impossible**

**Thanks to everybody who read the last chapter, and many thanks to those that reviewed. The reviews warmed my heart and made writing this challenge that much easier.**

**Also, thanks for your patience in bearing with me, and I hope this chapter makes up for the wait.**

**And personally I'd like to thank **Realityshowfan** and someone who'd pefer not to be named. Their reviews made me smile. ^-^**

**Now, onto said chapter . . . **

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I don't own Total Drama. Let me check again . . . Nope. Still don't own it.**

**

* * *

**

**Episode 1, Part 2** – The First Challenge . . . Been There, Done That

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Impossible…" Owen laughed. "I've always wanted to say that!"

"Owen, focus," Cody nudged his fellow intern.

"Aw, can I say it one more time? Last time on Total –"

"Owen, c'mon, McLean's counting on us."

"Never send a guy to do a girl's work," Gwen muttered, stepping in front of the arguing pair.

"I resent that!" Cody and Owen muttered back.

"Last time on Total Drama Impossible, the thirty-three contestants arrived. Some were thrilled to be here."

"Some were not," Cody added.

"After a near-death match between a pirate and a ninja, Chris McLean had the perfect idea to cheer everybody up," Gwen continued.

"A challenge!" Owen shouted.

"Ah, yes, what better way to welcome the rookies than a challenge right off the bat?" Gwen laughed.

"What will be the first challenge?" Cody asked.

"Who will come out victorious?" Gwen smirked

"And will anyone end up in the infirmary?" said Cody

"I sure hope not!" Owen shouted.

"Find out now on Total…" Gwen announced.

"Drama," Cody exclaimed.

"Impossible!" Owen yelled.

"Can I say it Gwen?" Cody pleaded. Gwen waved her hand dismissively.

"Yes!" Cody cheered and turned towards the camera. "Cue the theme song, we're good to go!"

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Impossible!" Chris grinned at the camera.

"We left?" Tan whispered to Bridgette.

"So Chris, what were you saying about a challenge?" Kai asked excitedly.

"Jumping off a cliff again? Walking through a mine? Fighting off giant evil penguins?" Izzy added.

"You've done that before?" asked Noah, a bored look on his face.

"Yep!" she answered.

"Why am I not surprised?" he rolled his eyes.

"C'mon guys, it's the first challenge. How hard –" the older Rose began.

"No!" many campers interrupted her.

"Last season DJ said that right before the first challenge," Willow shuttered.

"And they ended up jumping off a cliff," Aaron finished.

"Don't worry campers; this challenge is an easy one. Just getting to know your fellow contestants," Chris reassured everybody.

"Speaking of getting to know our fellow contestants, where can we put our stuff?" Rosetta questioned.

"Placing our luggage in our cabins has nothing to do with getting to know each other! Gosh!" Harold argued.

"Relax, dweeb," Duncan clasped a hand onto his shoulder.

"No, no Rosemary has a good point," Chris said.

"It's Rosetta," she sighed.

"Rebecca, Renee, same difference. This season cabins aren't decided based on teams. Seven cabins of four and one of five, decided by yours truly."

"We're screwed," Yale groaned.

"What happened to the old Killer Bass and Screaming Gophers cabins?" Heather demanded.

"Well, _some_body thought it'd be a great way to end Total Drama Island by burning all of the cabins to the ground," answered Chris, glaring at Izzy.

"And it was! You should've seen how big the fire got!" she shouted back.

"So we had to build new ones. You'll be allowed to travel into other cabins, but we expect you to sleep in your own," Chris chuckled, knowing full well that rule was going to end up broken. "Did I mention the cabins are co-ed?"

This earned several gasps from the campers. Some were in shock, and some were in delight.

"Can you do that?" Tonia demanded.

"Your contract says I can."

"It's true," Courtney admitted.

"And Courtney knows the contracts front and back," Gail added.

"You can decorate your cabin however you want; but if you set it on fire, you're building the new one. Over there is a five-star trailer, complete with hot tubs, snack machines, and a massage lounge. That is for me, Chef, and the interns. You will be provided with Chef's wonderful cooking three times a day, and –"

"Just tell us the damn challenge!" Heather interrupted.

"Sheesh! Rude little campers, are you not?"

Met only with the glares of everybody, Chris smirked. "Cabins first! Who's ready to meet their cabin mates?"

* * *

**Confessional Cam – We Could Use a Cabin Mate**

**Tonia** – Chris is going to have way too much fun with this.

**Valley** – The only thing that was going through my head was 'Not the pirate, not the pirate, not the pirate!'

**Geoff** – This is going to be awesome! We are going to have parties every day!

* * *

Chris looked around, smiling. "Cabin one shall be Valley . . . and Zane."

"That is cruel, Chris," Kyle shook his head.

"You don't think I could beat the Ninja?" Zane asked incredulous, ignoring Valley's glare.

"Nah, I'm talking about cruel to their roommates. No one wants to get caught in the crossfire of archenemies."

"Glad you think so Kyle, because you'll be joining them. And just to make things interesting… Courtney! You complete cabin one!"

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Could Do Without The Jinxs**

**Valley** – Looking back, I probably jinxed it.

* * *

Courtney gave a final hug to Bridgette and walked over to Kyle. "It'll be my pleasure Chris, but I'm so calling my lawyers if we get hurt because of those two."

"McLean, really dude?" Duncan complained.

"The next cabin shall get interesting. Geoff! Bridgette! You two love birds can reside in cabin two!"

Geoff cheered and celebrated, kissing Bridgette.

"Don't party yet, Geoff, because you got two roommates coming your way. Tan? Why don't you join your friend in cabin two?"

"Awesome! Bridge, we're cabin mates!"

Bridgette extracted herself from Geoff's hold and walked over to Tan, giving him a quick hug. "C'mon Geoff! This is great!"

"And to finish off cabin two… Collins!"

Giving Chris a puzzled look, she hesitantly made her way over next to Bridgette.

"Moving on to cabin three, let's have the two children bunk together! Tommy, Rose, get over here!"

Tommy shrugged, and Rose happily skipped away from the dwindling crowd.

"Beth, you're too nice for your own good. Join the midgets, will ya?" Chris said.

Beth sighed and walked towards her cabin mates. "Hi guyth! We're gonna get along thsuper, I bet!"

"Finally, Xavier. I'm sure you'll be very happy to room with two children and Beth."

"Thrilled," he muttered sarcastically.

"Exactly," chuckled Chris evilly.

"I'm not happy to be with you either, Xthavier!" Beth shot back

"I hope they don't fight all the time," Rose confided to Tommy.

"Fwighting scarwes me," he whispered back.

"Willow, you're bunking in cabin four, along with…" Chris glanced towards Aaron.

"I don't think so, Chris McLean," Willow warned.

"Fine, fine, take all the fun out of it, why don't ya? The girl with the blonde hair, guy with the black hair, and nerd with the red hair can join the girl in the wig in cabin four."

"I have a name," Alex snarled at Chris, walking to Willow.

Rosetta sighed, following Alex. "It's no use."

"Idiot! Gosh!" Harold added.

"Let's have our mind-reader and our gambler in cabin five," Chris continued.

"McLean, I can't play any card games with her. She'll automatically know what I'm thinking," Yale complained.

"I would'st never cheat, Sir Yale," Fire shot back indignantly.

"Duncan, dude, I'm thinking you, Rose, and cabin five."

Duncan and Rose both shrugged, causing Chris to get slightly annoyed.

"What? You don't have a problem with that?" he asked incredulous. "You two aren't upset, mad, anything?"

When they just shrugged and shook their heads again, Chris sighed. "Way to take away the drama."

"You're welcome!" Rose smirked at Chris.

"Well, the next cabins shall hopefully annoy some of you campers!"

"That's not a good thing," Roxanne said.

"It's a great thing! Let's have the bookworm, the 'survivalist', the homeschool, and dude with blue hair in cabin six."

"A cabin of all guys?" Noah sighed.

"Noah! That's perfect for you!" Izzy cheered.

"I. Am. Not. Gay!" Noah shouted back.

"It's no use fighting Izzy, eh. Or Chris fur that matter. Just accept what Fate brings yoo' and try yoo'r best no'ot to die," Ezekiel muttered, following Noah.

"C'mon guys, look on the bright side," Gail said.

"At least we're not rooming with Heather or Izzy," Draven added.

"They aren't that bad," Noah quickly defended them.

Everybody looked over at Izzy, who was currently showing Kai her miniature chainsaw, and Heather, who was shooting glares at everybody.

"You were saying?" Gail asked.

"Now, onto the next to last cabin, Tonia and Monet."

"Thanks Chris! It'll be nice having a friend in my cabin!" Tonia smiled at him.

"Yeah, thanks! I guess you ain't all bad!" Monet added cheerfully.

The host blinked dumbstruck at the opposite reaction he was hoping for. Scowling, he continued, "Joining them will be Valerina and Roxanne."

Walking over to her new cabin mates, Valerina slightly grinned. "Well, this'll be a riot."

"Draven's right though. It could be a lot worse," Roxanne said.

"Which leaves you five to room together," Chris finished, turning towards the remaining campers. "Heather, Aaron, Izzy, Kenneth, and…?"

Artair pulled down on his hat and raised his hand. "It's Artair."

"I knew that, dude."

"Oh God, oh C'Thulhu, we are so going to die," Aaron exclaimed nervously, watching Izzy and Kai grin evilly at each other.

"Izzy, Kai, remember what I said. You burn down the cabin, you have to rebuild it," Chris warned.

"That'll be easy! Once, I was in the Amazon Forest – hiding from the RCMP – and I had to build a hut!" Izzy chattered excitedly.

"We ran out of wood though," Kai added, Izzy nodding her head enthusiastically at what he said, "So we had to use the bones of the dead meese. They're very rainproof, in case you were wondering."

"Oh yeah, we are definitely going to die," Heather whispered back to Aaron.

"Meese?" Artair asked quietly.

"You know! Uno moose-o, dos-o meese-o!" Izzy answered. "Silly panda!"

"I'm not a panda," Artair responded, but his argument fell on deaf ears.

"You campers have half an hour until the challenge. Get to know one another, unpack, and try not to die." Chris smirked at the cameras. "We'll be right back after this commercial break."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Goose Geese, Moose Meese?**

**Kyle** – On the upside, I'm rooming with Courtney. On the downside, we're both probably going to get killed in the crossfire between two opposing forces.

**Collins and Fire – Collins** – /she sighs/

**Fire** – It shall be tough, I agree, living for the next few months, amidst the love triangle. Thou have'th to admit though, love is such a delicate flower, one hates to crush it.

**Collins** – /she rolls her eyes/

**Young Rose** – I'm worried that Xavier isn't happy to be in the same cabin as me, Tommy, and Beth. I hope we don't fight that much. Mommy and Daddy fight a lot, and it scares me.

**Harold** – Gosh! You can't mix a loner, a quiet matchmaker, a short-tempered girl who likes to dress up, and me together. That's like mixing water and alcohol and vinegar and baking soda! Not that I'm comparing Alex to water, Rosetta to alcohol, Willow to vinegar, or me to baking soda.

**Older Rose** – Well, McLean could've done a whole lot worse. I can always pass the time playing some games with Yale and Duncan, and with a mind-reader…. Well, I dunno. I'm sure it'll have some privileges. They should be lucky to have me, though.

**Gail** – I have a bad feeling. Eh, I'm sure it's just nerves about the first challenge. It's not like Izzy's going to burn our cabin down or anything… I hope?

**Valerina** – Tonia, Monet, and Roxanne. Well, I can already tell our cabin will be getting some late-night visitors, if you catch my drift. I can only be glad that Lindsay's not also rooming with us.

**Kai** – I don't see why everybody was so frightened at the thought of rooming with me and Iz. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? So what if we burn down the cabin? We can always build a new one! /He smiles at the camera/

* * *

**Cabin 1 – Valley, Zane, Kyle, and Courtney**

"I call top bunk!" she shouted at him.

"Nuh-uh! I call top bunk!" he shouted back.

"No way am I letting you sleep above me!"

"Oh, go walk the plank!"

"Did you just tell me to walk the plank?"

"Yes I did!"

"What plank? In case you're blind, there are no planks here!"

"Go find one, wench!"

"Did you just call me a wench?"

"Yeah I did, you lily-livered ninja!"

"You think you could take me, you cowardly pirate?"

"How long have they been going at it like this?" Kyle whispered to Courtney.

"Ever since we arrived," she whispered back.

"Should we interfere?" he wondered, looking back and forth between the arguing pair.

Courtney nodded. "Hey guys! Why don't you both take separate bunk beds? That way you can both sleep on a top bed."

Valley smiled at Courtney, all anger gone. "Aw, but that wouldn't be fair to you."

"Yeah, you two shouldn't be stuck on the bottom bunks because of the Ninja's selfishness," Zane added.

"Oh, so I'm the selfish one?" Valley snapped at him.

"Yes, you are!" he answered.

"Valley, Zane, let me put it this way –" Courtney began.

"Wait," Zane interrupted. "Why did you say her name first? Why not Zane then Valley?"

"She was going in alphabetical order Zane. The letter V comes before the letter Z," Kyle defended her.

"Well, if you go in reverse-alphabetical order, the letter Z comes before the letter V!" Zane argued.

"Focus!" Kyle snapped.

"Thanks Kyle. Now as I was saying, do you two really want to share a bunk?" Courtney said, smiling.

Valley and Zane spent about half a second thinking about that and quickly scrambled up the ladders of the opposing bunk beds.

"Nice work, Court," Kyle said impressed.

"Well, I've learned a few tricks to make everybody happy. I was a CIT, ya know."

* * *

**Cabin Two – Geoff, Bridgette, Tan, and Collins **

"Bunk beds? This is awesome!"

No one else responded to Geoff's unbridled enthusiasm, but he continued anyway.

"We're going to have incredible parties every night and become best buds!"

"So Bridge, you wanna bunk with me?" Tan asked her over Geoff's excited shouts. Unfortunately, Geoff overheard him, and the cabin got awkwardly silent.

"Actually, Tan," Bridgette said lightly, "I think me and Collins here can bunk together, if that's okay. You and Geoff can get to know each other!"

Geoff and Tan disagreed, but they both put on fake smiles and started unpacking.

"So, Collins, you don't mind if I have bottom bunk, do you? I'm really klutzy, and I'm sure I'd probably end up falling of the top bunk several times," Bridgette questioned quietly.

Collins smiled and shook her head, climbing to the top bunk.

"So are the waves here any good?" Tan said.

"The best!" Bridgette gushed. "Or at least, they are when we have them."

"Maybe after the challenge today we could catch a few?"

"Definitely! You don't mind if Geoff comes along, do you? I promised I'd teach him how to surf, and what better way to learn than from two great surfers?"

"Sure," Tan sighed.

Geoff, oblivious to Tan's discomfort, started cheering again, causing him to fall off the top bunk and onto the ground. Laughing, he said, "Bridge's always telling me how awesome it is to surf! Learning to surf's going to be wicked!"

"Hey Collins, would you like to learn? I'd love to have another friend there," Bridgette asked.

"The more the merrier!" Tan and Geoff added at the same time.

Laughing, Collins nodded.

"So, um, dudette, why _don't_ you speak?" Geoff asked again.

She frowned and looked away, shrugging.

"She'll tell us when she wants, Geoff," Tan said.

Collins flashed a grateful smile in his direction.

"So what do you think the challenge will be?" Bridgette brought up.

"Something about getting to know each other, my dudette. Whatever that means," Geoff responded.

"Knocking on wood," Tan answered, reaching over to tap lightly on his bunk bed, "but it's the first challenge. How hard could it seriously be?"

* * *

**Cabin 3 – Tommy, Rose, Beth, and Xavier**

It didn't take long for Tommy and Rose to claim one of the bunk beds, leaving Beth and Xavier to the other. The two children immediately collapsed on their beds and closed their eyes.

"Beth, Xavier, do you mind if I take a quick nap, please?" Rose asked.

"Mwe two!" added Tommy, scampering up the ladder.

"Of course not," Beth gushed, but as soon as she thought they were asleep, she glared angrily at Xavier, resuming their argument.

"None of the girlth here wanth you, Xthavier!"

"First off, Beth, mind your own damn business!"

Ignoring his harsh language, she continued. "You juthst keep thriking out, over and over."

"Sure, some of the girls couldn't handle my charm, but I'm gonna get a homerun with Tonia."

"I doubt she even wanth to go to firthst bathe with you."

"She totally digs me."

"The only thing she'll be giving you ith a rethraining order."

"You're just jealous that I can actually hit the ball while you keep striking out."

"I am tho not jealouth that she fell for your cheethey pickup lineth."

"She fell for me because I complimented, and honestly, who can resist the Xavier charm?"

"She's obviouthly humoring you!"

"_She_ is getting a headache from all of these American baseball metaphors!"

Beth and Xavier turned towards the cabin entrance, confused as to why Tonia was leaning up against the door frame.

"Welcome Tonia. Why are you here?" Beth asked cheerfully.

"I wanted to see if Xavier here'd like to join me and my friends in our cabin," she responded coolly.

"I'd be honored, m'lady," Xavier winked at Tonia and followed her out of the cabin, sending one last smirk over his shoulder to Beth.

"Oh Big Bertha, pleathe let me not be on hith team," Beth muttered before walking out of the cabin herself.

The second they were sure she was out of earshot, Tommy and Rose burst out laughing.

* * *

**Cabin 4 – Willow, Alex, Rosetta, and Harold**

The four teens stood around in the cabin, an awkward silence filling the air. After a couple moments of no one saying anything, Willow rolled her eyes and tossed her bags onto one of the bottom bunks.

"You just going to stand there like idiots, or are you going to bother unpacking?" she asked.

"Ladies first," Harold chimed in, bowing to Rosetta.

Smiling shyly, Rosetta sat down on other bottom bunk beds.

"Which bed do you want?" Harold nervously asked Alex.

He shrugged. "Whatever. I really don't care, so whatever you want is cool with me."

Not waiting for Rosetta's permission, Harold quickly scampered away from Willow's warning glare and up to the bunk above the shy romantic.

"Guess that leaves me and you together," Alex said, looking at Willow.

"As someone very wise once said, 'Whatever. I really don't care.'" Willow smirked at him.

"So now what?" Harold asked.

Glancing at Willow evilly, Rosetta said, "So, Willow, you and Aaron eh?"

Harold and Alex both quickly made themselves scarce, waiting for Willow's outburst at the accusation.

"There is no 'me and Aaron', there never was a 'me and Aaron', and there never will be a 'me and Aaron'! The idiot insulted me, Miss Matchmaker; does that practically scream romance at you?"

"No, but it screams classic love/hate start to a relationship," Rosetta smiled happily at the thought.

"I have an idea. Let's change the subject, shall we?" Willow glowered at everybody.

"Harold, I know – I hope – you and LeShawna are still together, correct?" Rosetta said.

"Of course!" Harold agreed. "I could ever leave my Chocolate Goddess."

"And Alex! I didn't notice you eyeing anybody in particular, but I'd love to help you hook up with someone. Izzy's a really fun girl, and from what I've heard, she and Owen broke up," Rosetta sighed and sniffled. "Tragedy, that is. Owen and Izzy were a particular favorite of mine."

Looking up at everybody, Rosetta blushed and smiled. "Well, at least they're broken up now. Izzy and Owen have a history of being on again/off again. You never know what tomorrow will bring."

* * *

**Cabin 5 – Fire, Yale, Duncan, and Rose**

"Rose, would thou care to bunk beneath me?" Fire asked.

Hiding her happiness, Rose nodded carelessly. "Sure. I mean, you should feel honored that I'll share a bed with you. Cuz, normally people are fighting with each other to be with me. It doesn't matter to me, though. I mean –"

Fire smiled understandingly. "I know exactly what thou mean Rose."

"Oh yeah. Mind-reader and all."

"So does your ability to delve within our minds help you in card games?" Yale asked.

"Even I don't need to be able to read your thoughts to know that you're thinking of a quick game of poker," Duncan joked.

"I know not. Shall we find out?" Fire answered.

Which is how the four found themselves sitting in a circle fifteen minutes later, a collection of worthy trophies piled between them.

"Two jacks and two kings," Duncan announced, laying down his cards.

"I have three aces," Rose said nonchalantly.

"I got a flush: three, four, five, six, and seven of hearts," Yale smiled proudly.

"Verily unfortunate, Sir Duncan and Sir Yale, Lady Rose. For I have'th a flush of the royal kind. What is it thou say? Read 'em and weep," Fire smirked evilly.

Groaning in defeat, Duncan handed over one of his lighters, Rose sadly bid farewell to her favorite shade of lip gloss, and Yale tossed in a chocolate bar.

"Is that a chocolate bar?" Rose gasped in shock before she could stop herself. "I mean, seriously. Not that I care or anything, it's just I thought Chris forbid anyone from bringing in outside food. Of course, I don't follow rules myself, so I couldn't honestly care less, I was just –"

"Yes, it's a chocolate bar," Yale interrupted her, laughing. "And yes, I'm not _technically_ allowed to have them."

"Not 'technically'?" Duncan repeated.

"Well, okay, not at all. But they're great prizes to gamble for, you gotta admit."

"Thou speak'th the truth. This is quite savory," Fire smiled happily.

"Well, this was fun. You should be happy that I'm playing with you; I mean, it's only a one-time deal. So I'm going to go see if Chris is ready to announce the challenge yet, so do any of you want to come with me? Not that I care if you do, or if you don't. It's all the same to me," Rose said.

Duncan and Yale exchanged an odd look, but Fire jumped up happily.

"Of course, Lady Rose!" she laughed. "I would be'th delighted to accompany thou. Sir Duncan and Sir Yale will clean up the poker game and join us in a couple minutes."

A pleasantly surprised look dancing across Rose's face, together they walked out of the cabin.

"What just happened?" Yale asked.

"I don't know, dude. I don't know," Duncan answered.

* * *

**Cabin 6 – Noah, Gail, Ezekiel, and Draven**

"For the last time, I am not gay!" Noah exclaimed.

"Then why'd you kiss Cody?" Gail shot back

"I didn't kiss Cody!"

"That's not what Izzy said, eh?" Ezekiel added.

"Thank you Homeschool. Your support warms my heart," Noah rolled his eyes, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Regardless of you being gay or not, you did kiss the brunette known as Cody, Noah. I have the DVD to prove it," Draven interrupted, adjusting his glasses.

"Sorry dude, but I'd rather not share a bunk bed with you. Nothing personal or anything," Gail shrugged.

"Of course. The fact that you think I like guys just because of something I did when we were asleep is definitely nothing personal. How about instead of even sleeping in the cabin, I sleep outside? Or even better yet, why don't I sleep on the roof?"

Gail recoiled from Noah's harsh words but didn't change his opinion.

"I doo'nt have a proo'blem sharing a bunk bed with Noah, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Then it's settled. Noah and Homeschool on that bunk bed, and Draven and I on this one," Gail declared.

"I woo'nder if any of the other cabins are having this kind of proo'blem," Ezekiel sighed.

"Most are, I'll wager," Draven answered. "I can imagine Valley and Zane arguing nonstop, Tan and Geoff fighting over Bridgette, Beth and Xavier also having difficulties, nobody from cabin 4 getting along, and then the last cabin trying to figure out how to have five campers and four beds."

Gail looked flabbergasted at Draven. "Did you memorize the cabins, or something?"

"Well yes. You never know when it might come in handy," he answered nonchalantly, adjusting his glasses again.

"You some kind of genius?" Gail asked.

"I do believe I have the highest IQ of the entire cast."

"No you doo'nt," Ezekiel automatically interrupted.

"I'd say third highest," Noah added.

"After who?" Draven demanded.

"Izzy, eh!"

"And me," Noah said.

"Izzy?" Draven repeated.

"And here I thought you knew everything," Gail snidely remarked.

"Izzy's an absolute genius, though it doesn't show…whatsoever," Noah answered.

"Izzy can be really smart when she wants to, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Well, we'll just have to see about that," muttered Draven.

They finished unpacking in silence.

* * *

**Cabin 7 – Tonia, Monet, Valerina, and Roxanne**

"So why do you think Chris stuck four girls in one cabin and four boys in another. Doesn't he think it'll generate more drama to have co-ed cabins instead?" Tonia asked.

"Please. McLean doesn't think. Period," Valerina scoffed.

"Remember the whole 'you must be in your own cabin at night' rule thing Chris has? I think having a cabin of all girls and a cabin of all guys is so that rule will get broken," Roxanne explained, shrugging.

"Well, then why'd he even have that rule in the first place? Them city-folk make no sense at all," Monet exclaimed.

"Speaking of breaking rules, and more importantly, co-ed cabins, I'll be right back," Tonia jumped up from her bed and walked out of the cabin.

As soon as she left, Valerina said, "10 bucks she comes back with a guy."

"15 bucks she comes back with Alex or Kyle," Roxanne laughed.

"20 that it's Xavier," declared Monet.

"You're on."

Less than a minute later, Tonia came walking back in, laughing, with the short blonde at her side.

Grumbling, Valerina and Roxanne handed Monet a bunch of dollar bills.

"Why do I have the feeling that I was just the subject of a bet?" Tonia demanded.

"Relax, beautiful. You can't blame them for having a little fun. We all know once the competition starts, that'll be scarce. Might as well enjoy the freedom while we have it," Xavier comforted her.

"That is probably the smartest thing I've heard anyone say all day," Roxanne admitted.

"Don't get used to it," warned Xavier, a smile on his face.

"Speaking of competition, what do you thing the first challenge will be?" Valerina asked.

"Chris will hopefully be more original than having us jump off the giant cliff again," Tonia answered.

"He did say it'll be easy, but knowing Chris and his twisted mind, that could mean anything," added Monet.

"Honestly, I wouldn't mind having the same challenge as the first season," Xavier said.

"And why's that?" Roxanne wanted to know, peering over the top of her top bunk bed.

"That means we'll know exactly what the challenge is: jumping off a cliff, dragging boxes along the beach, and building a hot tub. Not to mention, I'd actually love to jump off that cliff. It looked like such a rush!"

Roxanne toppled of her bed and hit the floor with a loud thud. Grinning at everybody, she said, "I like his way of thinking."

"So what do you think of the other contestants?" Valerina questioned.

"Xavier here's pretty cool, as are you three. I just wish Katie was coming back. I admire her determination, even when being away from her BFFFL," responded Tonia.

"I think Gail's kinda cool," Monet giggled. "He seems really outdoorsy to me, and that's something I look for."

"Outdoorsy may be good and all, but I personally enjoy a bit of mystery to my relationship. And that Alex guy seems worthy of investigation," Valerina said.

"Sure, Alex's quiet, but Draven's the real mystery here," Roxanne shrugged, her gold coins jingling. "I didn't really pay much attention to most of the rookies, though, so I could be wrong."

As the three girls started gossiping, Tonia and Xavier exchanged a glance. Quietly, they walked out of the cabin, waiting for the challenge.

* * *

**Cabin 8– Heather, Aaron, Izzy, Kenneth, and Artair**

"I'm sorry you and Owen broke up. A relationship with an intern could seriously help you when the going gets tough."

"Big O's great, he is, but he and I are like oil and water: we don't mix, or even explode! I want to find the guy who'll be the baking soda to my vinegar, know what I mean? Besides Heather, I thought you put all that evil alliance stuff behind you?"

Heather shifted uncomfortably. "The truth, Izzy? Wow, that word sounds unfamiliar coming out of my mouth. The _truth_. Anyway, I know I'm one of the first targets of practically everybody. But I will _not_ be the first one eliminated, you hear me? And if I need to do some backstabbing, underhanded trickery to do so, so be it."

"That's kinda when I was about to be captured by the RCMP, so I snuck into the changing rooms in the mall and gave somebody else my clothes. The RCMP started chasing that girl instead of me!" Izzy laughed, lost in the memory.

"I see," Heather gave Izzy a weird look. "So, care to explain why we're on the roof again?"

"Izzy decided to give the boys some time to bond, like atoms, before Kenneth and I have some fun."

"First off, explain your definition of 'fun'. Secondly, Kenneth is off, collecting 'meese bones', so it's just Aaron and A . . . Art . . . the other guy."

"Fun is fun!" Izzy grinned evilly. "And Panda's name is Panda! Well, his real name is Artair, but I like the name Panda better cuz he reminds me of my giant panda named Koala back in Australia."

"I see," Heather said again. She sat up and stretched. "I wonder what the guys are talking about beneath us. Actually, I wonder what your cousin Kai's doing right now."

Beneath the queen bee and the Izzy, Aaron and Artair were sitting on opposite beds, deep into their conversation.

"So remind me again why Izzy dragged Heather onto our roof?" Aaron asked.

"S–something about a–at–atoms?" Artair stuttered back, staring at his feet.

"Yes, I distinctly remember her yelling 'atoms!' several times. And where is our other roommate Kenneth?"

"K–Kai? H–he ran off, s–shouting what sounded li–like 'meese bones'…"

"Meese? Is that supposed to be the plural form of moose?"

"I t–think so? G–goose geese, moose m–meese and all," Artair let out a soft chuckle.

Aaron laughed. "That's what I thought, Panda-boy."

"P–p–panda?"

"Sorry, does that bother you? I heard Izzy calling you that earlier, so I thought you didn't care. I can call you Artair or Arty or something."

Artair stuttered out something incomprehensible, and Aaron laughed again.

"Well, Arty the panda-boy it is. Have you ever thought about playing basketball?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Artair shook his head, slouching down lower to hide his unnatural height.

"Seriously, I know people who would kill to have you height. Personally, I think it's cool, but basketball's never been my sport."

"R–really?"

"Yeah, I dislike most team sports, like football, soccer, and basketball."

"No I m–meant, you r–really think m–my height's co–cool?"

"Well yeah, Arty. I mean, how often do you meet someone taller than six feet and still growing? I bet you'll come in handy one of these challenges."

Artair said nothing, a faint blush spreading across his pale face.

"Not to mention the fact that you can go unnoticed by an entire crowd of people, and your albino. I've never met someone albino before."

"A–and British," added Artair softly.

"You're also British? I guess you speak so softly it's hard to tell."

"B–bloody hell?"

"That's more like it!" Aaron exclaimed.

Above them, Izzy shrugged. "I'm sure he's doing nothing super exciting."

Off in the distance, a redhead swung on a vine after a herd of moose, his bright green glinting with excitement.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Could Use Some Meese Bones **

**Courtney **– After spending a little bit of time in a small cabin with those two _lunatics_ (and I'm not talking about me or Kyle)…

**Bridgette **– I can't help but wonder what was going through Chris's mind when he picked our cabin mates…

**Beth** – Wath he thinking, 'Let'th thee how many people I can annoy'…

**Alex** – Or 'Let's see how many contestants I can scar for life'…

**Yale** – Or 'Let's see how many couples I can break up'…

**Noah** – Or mayhap 'Let's see how many campers I can piss off'…

**Monet** – /She crosses her arms/ And although I and the other three girls rooming with me seem to be getting along quite well…

**Heather** – With Izzy and Kai on the loose, I doubt all the cabins will make it through in one piece.

* * *

"Is everybody here?" Chris McLean called out, causing the quiet buzz of meaningless conversation to die off. "Interns, count."

"Aye, aye Boss," Gwen responded sarcastically, mockingly saluting him.

"Would you like us to polish your shoe collection while we at it? Maybe pre-chew your food?" Cody added.

"Food? That reminds me! When's lunch? I hope its nachos!" Owen smiled eagerly, rubbing his stomach.

"As much as I'd _love_ to see you campers suffer through Chef's cooking," here Chris dodged a frying pan thrown by an annoyed chef, "that'll have to wait until after the challenge."

"Which means," Gwen interrupted, an mischievous sparkle in her eyes, "one of you campers will be walking down the Dock of Shame, boarding the Boat of Losers, and leaving Camp Wawanakwa forever before you can even try Chef's cooking."

"Pretty frightening, is it not?" Cody added.

"I agree, Cody! It is frightening, realizing that you'll be missing out on Chef's food!" Owen said.

"Actually Owen, I was talking about the fact that in a few short hours, one of these thirty-three contestants will be the first one gone in Total Drama Impossible, with no chance whatsoever at the 500,000 dollars."

"Are you trying to make us _want_ to be the first one eliminated? Because pointing out the fact that we will leave the island unscarred by Chef's cooking is doing a pretty good job of that," Tan said, half joking, half serious.

"Now, as the _host_ of the show was saying, this challenge is easy. It's just to give you fickle campers a taste of what's in store."

"If the first challenge is so easy, how'll that prepare us for the more difficult challenges to come?" Aaron asked.

"It won't," Chris answered.

"Chris, you do realize that you just contradicted yourself, right?" Rosetta laughed. "You first said it'll 'give us a taste of what's in store', but then you said it won't help us at all."

"Oh, he realizes that. He just doesn't care," Draven answered.

"And Chwis pwobabwy did that juwst to annowy us," Tommy sighed.

Rose wrapped an arm comfortingly around her friend's shoulder. "Don't worry Tommy. I'm sure that no matter what happens, as long as we try, we can succeed!"

"Thwanks Rainbow!"

Several campers glared at Chris, but this just added to his amusement.

"Sheesh, a pair of midgets are upset, and you campers plunge off the deep end. I guess you're all going soft.

"Now, as I was saying, the challenge is very simple, very easy. Even Lindsay would've eventually understood it, and that's saying something.

"Cody, Gwen, and Owen have 'borrowed' things from each of you and scattered them across the island. You all have exactly one hour to venture out into the wilderness and attempt to find these items and bring them back here. After that, part two will start."

The campers glanced at each other, some relieved, some disappointed.

"So what will these 'borrowed' things be?" Roxanne asked.

"Anything important to you, whether it is clothing, jewelry, or some other weird knickknack. For example…" Chris trailed off, discreetly looking at Courtney.

As if on cue, she let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"My PDA! Where did you idiots put it? If anything happens to it, you are so dead!" she screeched, frantically searching through her pockets.

"You 'borrowed' her PDA?" Zane guessed, looking impressed.

"Which means somewhere on this island is Courtney's PDA. She better hope someone finds it," Chris chuckled.

"Someone better find it, or I am so calling my lawyers!" she warned.

"With what? If ya'll PDA's gone, how'll you call them?" Monet wondered.

"Shut it Backwoods Barbie," Courtney snapped.

Monet recoiled as if visibly stuck, and Chris snickered evilly.

"Ah, I can smell the ratings pouring in. Now go."

It took a couple seconds for what he said to sink in, and then Izzy bolted, cackling all the way into the woods, with her cousin Kai just a couple steps behind her.

"I dunno about you dudes, but a challenge is a challenge. If we're going to be on a kiddy scavenger hunt, I might as well get started," Duncan shrugged, strolling off towards the giant cliff in the distance.

"I don't exactly plan on being the first one eliminated, so I must agree. Dude's got a point," Yale caught up to Duncan, and the two immediately started talking.

Willow and Aaron turned around and stalked off in opposite directions. A moment later, Roxanne jogged after Willow. After a couple quick words, they wondered down to the mess hall.

Without waiting for permission, Rainbow and Tommy skipped off, giggling to themselves and pointing at all the wild animals.

"Bridgette, wanna come with me?" Geoff asked hopefully, only to realize that Bridgette and Tan had already left for the beaches.

"Geoff, care to join me and Courtney? Three heads are better than one, and we can always search for Bridgette along the way," Kyle said, smiling hopefully.

Geoff nodded distractedly, and the three of them walked off, Courtney still fuming.

"I would'st love too," Fire said to Collins, answering her unasked question, and they started searching around the Dock of Shame. As an afterthought, Fire called over her shoulder, "Rose, would thou care to join us?"

"Of course! Uh, what I meant to say was I guess, 'cuz seriously, you need all the help you can get. This is just a one-time deal though, so don't get used to me helping you out. Although you should be pretty honored, and… wait, what's that?" Rose stopped her ranting, pointing to something sparkling under the dock.

Not waiting for an answer, Collins and Rose quickly ran over there, Fire trailing behind amusedly.

Wordlessly, Heather and Valerina drifted apart from the dwindling crowd, accidentally bumping into each other, and then walking towards the forest Izzy and Kai disappeared into.

"You do realize that searching in groups has not only pros, but cons right? Sure, finding the missing items shall be easier with more people, but once you find something, arguing will take place over who gets what. Traveling alone is the best option," Draven said, heading off for the cabins.

"He's got a point," Noah admitted, and he and Ezekiel separated from the group.

"Good luck, eh," Ezekiel called back.

"I don't need luck. I got mad skills!" Harold shouted, running after the homeschooled boy.

"So, what are we doing again?" Xavier asked sheepishly. "I kinda spaced out for a second… or a couple minutes."

"It's a scavenger hunt, looking for borrowed items that belong to the campers," Gail answered, rolling his eyes. Without another word, he walked off.

"Well, that doesn't seem too hard," Xavier grinned, a sudden idea striking him. After a final wave goodbye to Tonia, he drifted down to the cabins.

"I can already see the trouble waiting to happen with him," Valley sighed, following.

"Stupid ninja thinks she can outsmart me, huh?" Zane grumbled, following her.

"I don't think that's what she meant, Zane!" Beth called out, stumbling after him.

"Well, I don't know about ya'll, but I can already tell they're going to be nothing but trouble. I'm going the complete opposite way," Monet declared.

"Best idea I've heard all day, Country," Tonia smirked, and the two of them headed away from the others.

"Personally, Rosetta, I think Draven's got the right idea, venturing off by yourself, but I can't leave you alone here," Alex said.

"I can handle myself, thank you very much. Although _I_ think searching together will yield more results."

The two walked off, leaving quiet Artair all by himself. Well, besides the interns and Chris himself.

"That was very boring," Gwen exclaimed.

"Are you joking? The start of the first challenge of the season! This is awesome!" Owen argued.

"Seriously though Boss: a scavenger hunt?" Cody laughed.

"The Producers thought it would be a great first challenge, and besides, these episodes don't last forever you know! We needed something short to fit into our time limit," pouted Chris. "Now, Gwen, Cody, can you two go check around on the hidden items. We don't want any wild animals picking them up."

"How sweet of you to care about the animals' wellbeing."

"Actually, Gwen, we can't afford a law suit right now. Now hop to it. Owen can come with me, and we'll see what Chef has cooking up for our thirty-three victims . . . er, campers after the challenge."

"Can I bring Mr. Coconut?" begged Owen, holding up the same coconut from season one.

"Do I even want to know?" Chris sighed. "Fine, fine, just hurry up now.

Chris and Owen strutted to the mess hall – or rather, Chris strutted and Owen kinda stumbled – and Gwen and Cody headed down towards the beach.

Nobody noticed the Brittan, silent and hidden in the background, follow Gwen and Cody.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – First Challenge Butterflies**

**Artair** - /He bits his lower lip, looking at the floor/ I d–don't want a–anyone to lose a–anything. It might b–be b–best to follow Co–Cody and Gwen for n–now?

**Ezekiel** – It coo'ld be worse, eh? No oo'ne has tried to kill me yet. This brings back memories, thoo'gh. It's the first challenge a'geen, and this time I'm keeping my moo'th shut, eh!

**Aaron** – I'm disappointed, to be honest. When I thought of the first challenge, I was thinking something more . . . dangerous. Not a scavenger hunt. Seriously, what's the worst that can happen? Courtney's PDA not getting found, and then Chris getting sued?

/He laughs/ And by worst, I mean best.

**Izzy** – Izzy is good at finding stuff! And with Kenneth-Chan at my side, Izzy shall dominate the scavenger hunt! Izzy . . . away! /she runs out of the confessional cam/

**Duncan** – Sure, I'm frustrated Princess didn't come with me; but honestly, she'd probably nag to me the entire time. She gets _real_ competitive.

**Xavier** – So it's a scavenger hunt for stuff belonging to the other campers? Well, that shouldn't be too hard. Girls' cabin, here I come.

* * *

**Aaron**

"Well, this is going great," Aaron thought out loud. "It's been – what? – a minute and I'm utterly lost. At least I'm away from everybody else. Seriously though, I don't know how they stand being so crowed."

He carelessly kicked at a rock, which caused a much larger rock to loosen, which caused the whole section of the ground he was standing on to topple down the hill.

He quickly lost his balance and joined the rocks in their downward journey.

Tumbling head over heels, Aaron finally landed with a thud. Looking around, he groaned.

"I was wrong before. _Now_ I'm lost."

* * *

**Alex and Rosetta**

"So, if we were Chris McLean, where would we hide the 'borrowed' things?" Rosetta wondered, peeking through a bush.

"You do know that the word 'borrowed' is just code for 'stolen', right?"

"Well, duh. I honestly doubt Chris actually asked permission."

"I don't care," Alex shrugged.

"In that case, why don't we –"

Rosetta suddenly tripped, wildly grabbing Alex's arm and bringing him down with her. After the dust cleared, they could see what she tripped over.

A surfboard was half-buried, hidden amidst the dirt and grass.

* * *

**Artair**

"If these are only thirty minute episodes for the viewers watching us, how can Boss afford to give the contestants an hour to search?"

"I don't think this episode is live, Cody. Most likely they'll shorten it, taking out all the boring parts, until they can fit it in less than half an hour. "

The two interns chattered aimlessly, until they stopped next to a dead-looking palm tree. Peering around the bushes surrounding it, Gwen called out, "It's still here!"

Cody nodded, and the two started walking again.

Neither noticed the albino stop at the palm tree and pick up what appeared to be a drawing pad. He continued following them.

* * *

**Beth, Valley, and Zane**

"Where'd he go?" Valley cried out incredulously.

"I thought you and all your _ninja skills_ would be able to track down one lad," Zane snickered back.

"Not as if you were much help either!"

"I didn't _want_ to follow him. Ever thought of that?"

"Then why'd you follow _me_?"

"I don't trust you, Ninja. Plain and simple. Keep your mates close and your enemies closer and all."

"Guyth! Come on, we are on a challenge. We should be thearching for the itemth!" Beth interrupted.

Valley tilted her head, staring off at something in the distance.

"Well, the lassie has a point. Even if the lad did slip between our fingers, a challenge is a challenge," Zane admitted, glaring away from Valley.

"With Valley and your thearching thkillth, we could have a chanthe to win . . . and eliminate Heather for good!"

"I have found a machete," Valley announced, slipping back to Zane and Beth. She waved the large sword around triumphantly, and the trio continued onward.

* * *

**Bridgette and Tan**

The two surfers stood knee-deep in the water, splashing each other. After wiping away some sand, Bridgette laughed.

"So why'd we race down here again?"

"For the challenge, Bridge! We can't waste any time. An hour's only sixty minutes, dude!"

"Oh yeah, the challenge scavenger hunt thing. Then why are we in the ocean again?" Bridgette leaned to far forward and fell face-first into the water.

Chuckling, Tan helped her up, and they wadded back to the shore.

"Well, you never know where Chris could've put our stuff. Now we can eliminate the possibility of anything being in the ocean," Tan explained.

"That works for me."

"So now where should we go?"

Bridgette already started running towards the giant cliff. She shouted over her shoulder, "C'mon Tan, let's catch up to Geoffy. I'm pretty sure I saw him and a couple other people head this way!"

Sighing, Tan followed.

* * *

**Collins, Fire, and Rose**

"Well, we've already found a digital camera underneath the dock, so I think we're doing fine. Still though, we need to keep looking. One digital camera's not going to win us the challenge. Of course, I don't really care if we win, but I guess you two do, so I might as well help you," Rose said, fiddling with the camera.

"Does thou mind holding onto the camera?" Fire asked.

"I'll do you two a favor and carry it. It's no problem, but it's the thought that counts, so you're welcome."

Collins shrugged, shifting through a large pile of sand with her foot.

"I do not think elimination shall be of a problem," Fire whispered softly.

Rose and Collins looked back at Fire.

"What?" Rose asked.

"Nay, nothing of great importance," Fire answered, hiding her laugh.

Not paying attention, Rose stumbled over a washed-up log and face-planted in the sand.

Laughing, Collins reached down and helped her up. When the three continued walking again, nobody noticed the fallen camera forgotten in the sand.

* * *

**Courtney, Geoff, and Kyle**

To Kyle's left, Courtney was muttering darkly about Duncan. To his right, Geoff was still upset that Bridgette raced off with Tan. Kyle sighed.

"Dude, dudette . . . Geoff, Courtney, cheer up. Sure Duncan deserted you to search with Yale. Sure Bridgette and Tan vanished without you. That doesn't mean you can sulk about it for the remaining of the challenge."

Geoff and Courtney looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"That's not really helping, is it?" Kyle sighed.

"Not really, though I appreciate the effort," Courtney answered.

"Where is the competitive girl from season one, Courtney? I know she wouldn't let a guy get in the way of her winning a challenge! And Geoff, where is the party animal from season one? You shouldn't let some wannabe surfer get in the way of what you want. Now let's put our best foot forward, and fight!"

Geoff wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.

"That was a beautiful speech, dude!"

"Come on Kyle, Geoff. We've got a challenge to win!" Courtney exclaimed.

She started racing through the forest, jumping logs and roots and ducking branches, with Kyle and Geoff right behind her.

* * *

**Draven**

Silently, Draven climbed onto the roof of the nearest cabin. He looked back and forth, before spotting something. Quickly, he jumped onto the next cabin's roof, landing gracefully.

"Chris McLean, you are too predictable," he chuckled softly.

Draven picked up the teddy bear, and slid down to the ground.

"Now who could the teddy bear belong too?" he wondered, pacing back and forth. "And where would Chris McLean hide something else?"

Almost about to head to the mess hall, he stopped, hearing something from inside one of the cabins.

Draven snuck closer and peered through the window.

* * *

**Duncan and Yale**

"So why are we going to the 1000 foot cliff dude?" Yale asked, ducking under a tree branch.

"That is a very good question. My gut tells me to go this way, and Duncans always listen to their gut," Duncan answered.

They continued for a couple minutes in silence, the ground getting steadily steeper. Duncan pushed aside some trees and waited for Yale to follow.

"Dude?" Duncan called back.

"Duncster, I'm thinking we should start listening to your guy more often," Yale shouted back.

Yale quickly shoved his way through the trees and showed Duncan a muddy pink purse.

"Not bad Yale, but should we take it with us?"

"Why not?"

"Dude, how manly will we look, carrying around a pink purse?"

* * *

**Ezekiel and Harold**

"Harold?" Ezekiel asked in surprise. "What are yoo' doing here?"

"Helping you, of course, my fellow reject."

"But why, eh?"

"A Possum Scout never turns down those in need," Harold boasted proudly, standing up straighter.

"Unless thoo'se in need happen to be Courtney?"

"Well, I do happen to like living, thank you very much."

"I doo'nt knoo' why she hasn't forgiven yoo'. I think everyboo'dy shoo'ld be given a second chance?"

Harold glanced at Ezekiel knowingly. "You aren't exactly popular with the ladies either. It's a wonder they haven't tried to injure you. Gosh!"

"I've been trying to go unnoticed, eh? But as soon as things calm do'wn a'geen, I might have a proo'blem."

"Let's make a promise, Homeschool: Before the end of the season, you've gotten most of the girls to forgive your poorly chosen words from season one and I'll have gotten Courtney to forgive me."

Ezekiel thought about what Harold said and sadly shrugged. "That'll be the oo'nly reason to stay here, eh. So I guess I promise."

"Then it's a deal –" Harold stopped talking and screamed, diving for the ground.

"What?" Ezekiel shouted, looking around.

"F – F – Fox!" Harold stuttered.

Ezekiel looked at where Harold was pointing and laughed. A realistic-looking fox mask was hanging from a tree's branch.

"Doo'nt woo'rry, it's just a mask. I'm guessing we found soo'mething fro'om the scavenger hunt, eh."

* * *

**Gail**

'_I might be new to this island',_ Gail thought, '_but I'm pretty sure there aren't any caves here!'_

Somehow, after walking for a good twenty minutes, Gail found himself surrounded by towering piles of rocks. Weaving in between them, he eventually discovered a cave and now was debating whether or not to enter it or run for his live.

'_If I enter the cave, I might find enough of the 'borrowed' items to win. On the other hand, I can't win if I'm dead . . .'_

Finally, Gail decided to slowly venture inside.

"Hello?" he shouted out.

Someone – or rather, something – answered back.

Gail was greeted with an ear-piercing roar and two yellow eyes glaring at him from the darkness.

"Easy boy . . . bear thing, easy there. I'll just back away slowly and . . ."

Gail spun on his heels and bolted out of the cave, the bear close behind.

* * *

**Heather and Valerina**

"I'm rooming with a circus freak, some country Barbie, and Lindsay V2; but it's not all bad. At least I can count on them not to vote for me," Valerina said nonchalantly, kicking at a pebble.

"An alliance?" Heather asked.

"I don't trust alliances. I'm just saying that friends don't vote for other friends."

"Speaking of trusting – or rather, not trusting – what do you think of the two midgets?"

"You mean Tommy, and . . . what was her nickname, Rainbow?" Valerina questioned.

"Exactly."

"I don't think either of them would hurt a fly."

"But we aren't flies. Something's off about Tommy, at least, and he's certainly going to be a bad influence on Rainbow."

Valerina shrugged. "Well, they –"

What she was going to say was cut off by an unbelievably loud roar. A scruffy-looking boy followed by a giant brown bear tore through the forest mere feet in front of the two shocked girls.

After the bear and the boy were loud gone, Valerina muttered, "Please tell me that's not standard behavior on Camp Wawanakwa."

Heather shook her head. "Was it just me, or did that bear have a collar and nametag?"

They looked at each other and answered at the same time: "Izzy."

Without a backwards glance, Valerina and Heather continued through the forest.

* * *

**Izzy and Kai**

The two redheads swung through the forest on separate vines, although identical expressions of insane joy danced across their faces.

"Iz, aren't we on a challenge?" Kai shouted to her.

She energetically nodded. "We are Kenneth-Chan!"

"It's Kai!" he exclaimed, accidentally falling to the ground.

Izzy gracefully landed next to him. "I understand, Kenneth-Chan."

"What's with the Chan, Izmiester?"

"San is friends, and Chan is family, silly. When I was hiding from the RCMP, I spent a couple months at this village in Japan. After saving them from a Bigfoot attack, I became their honorary Sensei!"

"From what I learned, the suffix Is is the polite term, Kun and Chan means friends and family, and Sama is really respectful."

"Izzy-Sensei is inventing her own suffixes!" Izzy shouted.

Kai jokingly bowed to his cousin. "I see, Izzy-Sensei. About the challenge, though?"

Izzy grinned. "Izzy-Sensei did not forget about the challenge."

Before Kai could ask what she meant, Izzy reached into her shirt and pulled out some numchucks and a book. After giggling at Kai's shocked expression, she then showed him the sapphire pendant dangling around her neck.

"How?" Kai asked.

"Izzy-Sensei has her ways. Now onward!"

* * *

**Monet and Tonia**

"Monet, not to be rude . . . but we've passed the campgrounds three times before," Tonia groaned.

"Maybe we should try a new path then," Monet grumbled back to her.

Tonia – not used to spending long periods of time outside – was sweaty, tired, and her patience was wearing thin.

Monet, on the other hand, was having plenty of fun being outside again . . . besides the fact that her friend was slowing her down.

"Look," Monet pointed out after a couple minutes of silence. "There are the cabins. Why don't you relax for ten, twenty minutes? Take a shower, change your clothes, and all. I'll keep searching, and meet you back here later."

Tonia immediately perked up. "Seriously? That'd be great, Country! Thanks!"

She hugged Monet goodbye and strolled off towards the showers.

As soon as Tonia was out of hearing range, Monet muttered, "City-folk. They just don't know how to live without them fancy wires, and electronics, and showers, and automatic Wi-Fi."

She continued on her search alone.

* * *

**Noah**

The bookworm didn't bother searching. Why not? It wasn't as if he had a dying passion to remain on the island.

Instead he sat down on the Dock of Shame, the same dock he arrived on just hours before.

So far he's been kidnapped, stuffed into a body bag, attacked by an Izzy, and called gay more times than he could count.

It wasn't exactly a promising start to the new season.

'_Well, on the bright side, it can't get much worse,'_ Noah thought, but not wanting to say it out loud and jinx it.

As if mocking him, an exceptionally large wave crashed upon the dock, soaking Noah.

_Palm. Apply to face. Now.'_

_

* * *

_

**Rose and Tommy**

"Look! It's a biwrdie!" he shouted, pointing at a bird hobbling towards them.

"That was a seagull," Rose explained.

"It _was_?"

"Well . . ." she trailed off, looking at the half-dead bird. "I'm not sure what it is now. It certainly looks strange."

"You're wight!"Tommy exclaimed. "Mawybe you couwld teach me stuff wike that?"

"You and I both know you know way more than I do, Tommy," Rose answered softly.

"Huh?" Tommy tilted his head, confused.

"Nothing. . . hey look!" Rose laughed and nodded her head towards the seagull.

The bird hopped forward on one leg.

"Shouwldn't it hawve bwinked by now?"

"Yes. Yes it should have, Tommy. On the count of three, let's slowly back away . . . One . . . Two . . . Three."

The two children quickly stood up and started shuffling backwards. The seagull stumbled after them. That was all it took for Rose and Tommy to turn around and run as fast as their short legs could carry them.

The seagull shrugged, confused, and continued munching the bottle of cologne.

* * *

**Roxanne and Willow**

"As much fun as breaking into the mess hall has been, I doubt there's anything hidden here," Roxanne whispered to her partner-in-crime.

"Forget the challenge," Willow whispered back. "I'm just hungry! Chef's got to have _some_thing edible to eat around here."

The mess hall was dark, the only light coming from the windows. The two girls crept towards the kitchen, careful not to make a sound.

"Food does sound good right about now," Roxanne admitted.

Willow walked into the kitchen, motioning for Roxanne to follow her.

"Check the fridge, and I'll get the pantry," Willow said.

Roxanne cartwheeled over to the refrigerator, earning an approving whistle from Willow.

"Impressive. Where'd you learn to do that?"

"I've picked up several tricks from traveling with the circus," answered Roxanne.

"Jackpot!" exclaimed Willow, placing a couple apples on the counter.

"I smell maggots in my kitchen!"

Roxanne and Willow slowly turned around. Towering above them, Chef Hatchet glared menacingly. Not wanting to be smashed into tonight's dinner, the two campers dashed past him, Willow making a desperate swipe at her apples.

In her hurry, she didn't realize she picked up a matchbox instead.

* * *

**Xavier**

Xavier didn't fully understand the challenge, as he thought anything belonging to the other campers was fair game.

Escaping the three people tailing him wasn't a problem, seeing as Valley and Zane were more intent on killing each other than tracking him and Beth had no clue what was going on.

He quickly walked down to the cabins and entered a random one. Shuffling through the drawers, he didn't find what he was looking for.

"Nope, nope, nope," he muttered quietly, peering through the other dressers.

Leaving the cabin more or less how he found it, Xavier walked into another cabin.

After a minute of shifting through the clothing, he grinned triumphantly, holding up a pair of bright blue underwear.

"One down, sixteen to go."

He didn't notice the dark-haired boy watching him through the windows.

* * *

**Confessional Cam - **

**Rosetta** – Alex seems really determined not to hook up this season, which is a shame in my opinion. I guess there'll be other people to pair up . . . I wonder if Artair likes anybody.

**Tan** – I don't really want to sound evil or anything, but I wonder if I can convince a couple people to vote for Geoff. Whenever I'm with Bridgette, just having fun, she's always distracted. Geoff this, Geoff that. At least I have surfing to look forward to after the challenge. Mayhap Geoff will be the first one gone, and then I can convince Collins to stay away?

**Willow** – /she's tossing a matchbox back and forth/ Well, I don't remember picking this up, but I certainly am not complaining. I guess Chris decided that nobody would dare look in Chef's kitchen. Chef doesn't scare me though. I shall have fun with him this season, oh yes I shall.

**Zane** – The only reason I followed the Ninja is so she won't be able to sneak up on me and stick a katana in me back. She wouldn't dare try anythin' with Beth around though, which is practically the only reason I bothered letting the poor lassie stick with us.

**Draven** – Stealing people's underwear? What's Xavier doing? Unless he thinks that him 'borrowing' them will help him win the challenge?

/he laughs/ Well, at least that's one camper I don't have to worry about winning this. As a matter of fact, the only contestants I really have to worry about are Courtney, Heather, Valley, Yale, Valerina, and Alex.

**Tommy** – /he sweetly smiles and laughs/ Well, I'm on Twotal Dwama Imwpossibwle! Nobowdy thouwght I could do it, but now I get a chawnce to show them!

/he leers evilly at the camera/ Oh, I'll show them alright. Just you wait.

* * *

"As you can see, this challenge's already off to a great start. Drama's already in the air, and these campers have no clue what's to come," Chris announced, smiling his trademark grin at the camera.

"We leave you with these questions," he continued. "What will Xavier accomplish by pirating underwear? Will our two hopeless interns ever realize that A . . . Ar . . . that one of the new contestants is tailing them? And who will be able to say they won the first challenge of Total Drama Impossible?

"All these and more answered, right after this commercial break!"

* * *

**(End)**

**There you have it: the start of the first challenge.**

**It is, indeed, a scavenger hunt. In case you couldn't follow Chris's conversation, basically he 'borrowed' something belonging to each of the campers and scattered them across the island. The contestants are now searching everywhere for them, some having more luck than others. **

**The conclusion and the first bonfire ceremony – not ending how you'll expect – are coming right up . . . Well, eventually. **

**Cue the horror music please, because in less than a week, it'll be my birthday! But one day after that . . . school starts back up. **

**If you're still in school, you probably understand what I'm talking about. **

**(And I probably should get started on the summer project.)**

**My personal ranting aside, be sure to drop a review letting me know what you think. Any suggestions, comments, and complains will be graciously accepted. Notice anything that should be fixed or rewritten? Don't hesitate to let me know. **

**Until next chapter! *salutes***


	4. Ep 1, Pt 3: There Will Be Winners

**Total Drama Island 2: Total Drama Impossible**

**In a galaxy far, far away . . . **

**A nameless evil being looked down upon the human race and sneered. **

**Using the anger and hatred humanity created, the nameless evil being formed his most prized creation. **

**It was designed to frustrate, humiliate, and use the human race's precious time.**

**He dubbed this creation . . . school.**

**And that's where I've been the past month, along with packing, moving, and unpacking. **

**Dedication: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **Athulis**, to make up for his long overdue Gwekiel story.**

**Warning: Side effects of reading this chapter may include, but aren't limited to, getting random songs stuck in your head and losing The Game. **

* * *

**Episode 1, Part 3** – Rising Action, Falling Campers

* * *

Three teens were arguing on the dock, quietly shouting back and forth. The largest one pouted and stopped talking. The shortest guy furiously stomped his foot, and the only girl grinned triumphantly.

She turned towards the camera, and her face fell.

"We were on that entire time weren't we?" she sighed.

The intern holding the camera nodded.

"Heh?" Cody scratched the back of his head.

Gwen plastered a giant smile on her face and said, "Last time on Total Drama Impossible, the campers were sent on a little scavenger hunt."

"Searching for their missing items, 'borrowed' courtesy of us," added Cody evilly.

"Some had great luck," chuckled Owen. "Some did not."

"With only half an hour left of the challenge, who will come out victorious?" Gwen asked.

"And who will be the unfortunate camper, the first one to grace the Dock of Shame?" added Cody.

"Well, now's your chance to find out, in the thrilling conclusion to this awesome challenge!" cheered Owen.

"Cue the theme song, we're good to go," Gwen finished.

The camera panned to Chef, who's sitting on a tree stump. He stops sharpening his kitchen knife and glares at the camera.

"Those maggots still need to work on their entrance," he grumbled and walked away.

* * *

_(The official TDI2 theme song, to the tune of 'I Want To Be Famous')_

_**Dear Mom and Dad, I'm not missing you yet.**__ (Izzy chases her pet bear into the forest. A moment later, Monet and Gail run out of the forest, with Izzy's bear chasing them.)_

_**I'm gonna win this, you wanna bet? **__(Draven's sitting on the dock, figuring something out on a calculator, before accidentally being pushed off by Roxanne. She winces, chuckles, and continues walking along innocently.)_

_**You're obviously doubting me,**__ (Duncan and Courtney are arguing in front of the mess hall. A cackling Kai runs after Izzy, pushing Courtney into Duncan and causing them both to topple to the ground.)_

_**But I'm the champion, just wait and see. **__(Rose is sitting alone on the beach when a giant wave crashes over her. A nearby Yale starts cracking up, but is elbowed by Collins.)_

_**I'm totally famous.**__ (Valerina is practicing a cheer but stops to smirk at the camera. Heather rolls her eyes, claps, and walks away.)_

_**I'm here to do the impossible.**__ (Noah is reading his book underneath a tree, while Harold practices his kung fu moves nearby. Heather walks up to the tree and kicks it, causing a shocked Ezekiel to fall out of it. She glares at him and storms off.)_

_**Look out, here I come, I'm unstoppable.**__ (Geoff and Bridgette are making out on the beach, but Tan pulls her away to go surfing. Kyle sits down next to a disappointed Geoff and wraps an arm around him comfortingly.)_

_**I'll be the one left at the end. **__(Alex, Artair, and Aaron are seen surfing down a river in a canoe; with Willow, Fire, and Tonia in another canoe right behind them. Suddenly, both canoes topple over and they all plunge into the water.)_

_**This season's my chance to win.**__ (Rosetta watches them all fall into the river from a nearby bank and laughs. The camera zooms inside the mess hall, where Tommy and Rainbow are poking at Chef's cooking, looking doubtful and afraid. Owen walks past, animatedly talking to Mr. Coconut.)_

_**Cuz I'm totally famous. **__(The injured seagull sits on the ocean, before a shark comes up and eats it. A giant squid tentacle wraps around the shark and pulls it underwater.)_

_**Nanana'nanaana na na na na **__(Beth sneaks up on Heather and pushes her into the lake. Noah looks up from his book, watching amusedly as Ezekiel offers to help Heather. She glares at the homeschooled boy and storms off again.)_

_**(Na) I'm totally, (na, na) I'm totally, (na) I'm totally famous. **__(Camera zooms up to the top of the 1000-foot cliff where Valley and Zane are fighting. A sudden gust of wind sends them both over the edge and into the waters below.)_

_**(Na) I'm totally, (na, na) I'm totally, (na) I'm totally famous. **__(A cameraman is seen chasing after Gwen and Cody, who are both holding stolen video recorders. The person holding the camera trips and the screen goes fuzzy.)_

_***whistles tune* **__(All thirty-three campers are standing on the dock, smiling, fighting, arguing, flirting, and/or sleeping. At the end of the song, the dock breaks beneath them, sending them all – once again – into the ocean.)_

* * *

"If you're seeing this handsome face on your television screen – or computer screen, for those of you that pirate the episodes before the airing date . . . you know who you are – that means you're watching the shocking finish to the first challenge of Total Drama Impossible!"

Chris started pacing back and forth across the Dock of Shame.

"When we last saw our campers, they were on a wild scavenger hunt across the entire island. While others struck gold, some struck out.

"Many questions still remain, though. Just what is Xavier up to? Who will come out victorious? And can this handsome face get any handsomer?"

He stopped and grinned his prize-winning smile at the camera. "Now's the time to find out. Sit back, relax, and stay tuned. The drama's just beginning."

* * *

**Ezekiel and Harold**

"Why are we climbing up this cliff a'geen? Didn't we do this last season, eh?" questioned Ezekiel.

"It's scientifically proven that Chris likes to torture us, so he'd hide everything in the most dangerous, hard to find place," Harold answered back.

"Like the top of the giant cliff," Ezekiel sighed.

They two pushed past some branches, and the homeschooled boy groaned.

"I really doo'nt like nature."

"Why not? Mother Nature is amazing," shouted Harold.

"I've had . . . bad experiences, yoo' coo'ld say . . . outside."

The two veteran boys continued walking up to the top.

* * *

**Duncan and Yale**

"Well, we're off to a good start, wouldn't you say?"

"McLean is so dead when I get my hands on him," Duncan grumbled back, pulling a twig out of his Mohawk.

"Your hair is rather gaudy. Ever thought about cutting it?"

The delinquent growled. "Don't even go there. My hair is staying this way."

Yale shrugged, and said, "Where's that pink menace we found anyway?"

Duncan chuckled. "Oh, that thing? I ditched it a while back. I don't do pink."

Yale blinked at him.

Before he could say anything though, someone started snickering.

* * *

**Bridgette, Tan, Kyle, Courtney, and Geoff**

"With more than thirty lost objects, and only half an hour left, we need to average about an item a minute," explained Courtney, as the three walked up the path.

"I don't think we need to find everything, just more than everybody else," Kyle argued.

Before Courtney could comment, a loud squeal was heard from behind. A blonde camper tackled Geoff, sending them both crashing to the ground.

"Bridgette? How'd you find us?" Courtney asked in disbelief.

"Well, dude, Bridge thought she saw her cowboy walking this way, so she took off running," answered Tan, as Bridgette was busy in a furious tickle war with Geoff.

"So Bridgette, Tan, have you found anything?" questioned Courtney, only for it to fall onto deaf ears.

Bridgette and Geoff had moved on from tickling to making out, and she rolled her eyes.

Kyle chuckled amusedly.

Tan and Courtney looked at him weirdly.

"I was just wondering if they actually made out as much as they supposedly did on TDI," Kyle said defensively.

"We could always leave them here. They seem pretty preoccupied, and I'm sure they wouldn't mind," suggested Tan, sounding somewhat hopeful.

"Courtney Barlow leaves no man or woman behind," Courtney responded grimly. "They are coming with us, even if we have to drag them." **[1]**

Kyle looked up at the long, winding path and sighed.

* * *

**Monet, Valley, Zane, and Beth **

Not long after Tonia disappeared into the shower stalls, Monet gave up on waiting. She stopped pacing back and forth, cast one last glance towards the camp, and followed the shouts she was hearing.

The voices lead her to a clearing, right in the middle of a deadly fight.

"Now what is going on?" Monet demanded.

The pale girl stopped swinging her katana, the tip resting inches away from Zane. Slowly they lowered their weapons and sheepishly turned towards her. **[2]**

"I know ya'll are sworn enemies – despite the fact that ya'll haven't ever met before this – but why are ya'll fighting in the middle of a challenge? For goodness sake, if ya'll don't like each other, then don't partner up!"

"He started it," Valley said sulkily.

Zane gasped and glared at her. "I did not! That stupid landlubbin' ninja did!"

"I really don't care who started it! We've all come here to win half a million dollars, and killing each other is not going to help with that!" cried Monet, looking seriously annoyed.

Never taking her eyes off of Zane, Valley nodded. He shrugged nonchalantly, twirling his sword.

Grinning happily, Monet said, "Now was that so hard?"

Valley closed her eyes, tilted back her head, and laughed. "You have much to learn, young grasshopper."

With Valley distracted, Zane took that as his chance. He reached over, yanked her katana from her hand, and took off running.

Shouting words that would make a sailor blush, Valley didn't hesitate to dash after him.

Monet blinked.

"Have they thtopped fighting yet?" a voice called out.

"Beth, is that you?" Monet asked back.

The short farm girl slowly stepped out from her hiding spot.

"I wath afraid they'd never thtop . . . Where are they anywayth?"

"I tried to get them to calm down, but they ran off chasing each other in that direction," answered Monet, pointing uphill.

Beth nodded and slowly started scooting in the opposite direction.

"Beth, where do ya'll thing you're going?" Monet scolded.

"I really don't want to die, and they are thcary."

"Thcary . . . I mean, scary or not, I will not let them hurt each other."

Without looking back, Monet ran after them.

Beth bit the bottom of her lip and hurried after her.

* * *

**Noah**

The bookworm was having trouble with this challenge. After being soaked by the wave on the dock, he slowly made his way inland. Knowing Chris's sadistic mind, Noah figured the Cliff would be a good place to go next.

And while he found many interesting things on his little journey – a snake, for example, and a rather large patch of poison ivy – Noah had no luck finding anything of use.

After being whacked in the head again by a tree branch, he crossly said, "What person actually enjoys tromping around in a forest?"

An orange and green blur swung down on a vine, past Noah, and disappeared into a tree, cackling excitedly. Noah blinked.

"Let me rephrase that question: What normal human being actually enjoys tromping around in a forest?"

Expecting no answer, and getting none in return, he continued onward.

* * *

**Aaron and Gail**

"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo!"

Aaron tightly shut his eyes and spun around in a circle. When he stopped and opened his eyes, he groaned, his finger pointing once again at an impassable rock wall.

"I don't care if the gods of Fate want me to go in that direction, it's just not possible to enter or exit from a solid wall!" Aaron shouted at nobody in particular.

He sat down on a nearby tree stump, his head in his hands. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, a shriek of terror interrupted his thoughts.

Aaron jerked up onto his feet and managed to face plant into the ground. Clambering to his feet and taking a couple moments to straighten his hoodie, he warily looked around.

It didn't take long for something to seem off. Thundering noise echoed from the rock wall – which turned out to be part of the Cliff, Aaron would find out later. Moments later, a scruffy-looking teen came half-stumbling, half-falling out of a hidden crevice.

Aaron didn't have long to ponder about the fact that this guy seemingly appeared from nowhere. Right on his heels, an enormous brown bear came running after him.

Gale – for it was the dark-skinned survivalist, Aaron noticed – managed to shout at Aaron, "Don't ask; just run!"

A second glance back at the approaching menace was all it took to convince the loner to start moving.

* * *

**Valerina and Heather**

"Hey look, Val, is it just me, or does it seem to be getting lighter?"

"You're right. Which means, either the sun's getting brighter –"

"Or we're approaching the exit to this damn forest!" finished Heather, smirking.

They both quickened their pace, and soon the end of the forest was in sight.

Before either girl could leave the shadows of the trees, Valerina pulled Heather behind a tree.

"What the . . .?" Heather trailed off, glaring at Valerina.

"Shut it, and listen," she snapped back.

They both turned silent and watched as a pale girl accompanied by a black-haired boy walked past.

When the two other campers were out of ear-shot, Heather said, "I didn't bother learning everybody's name. Did you recognize them?"

Valerina nodded absentmindedly. "The girl was Rosetta: shy, smart, and a self-appointed matchmaker. The guy was Alex: indifferent, self-centered, and quiet."

"And how do you know that?" demanded Heather.

Shrugging, Valerina answered, "Well, if they're gonna be my competition, my future enemies, my future allies, I figured I might as well get to know a little about them. The more you know, the easier it is to control."

"Cute," Heather snickered.

Valerina rolled her eyes and Heather stepped out from behind the trees, only to be stopped by Valerina again.

"What now?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" asked Heather, throwing up her hands in exasperation.

"Why are you trying to get to know me? I'm not going to be your pawn like Beth and Lindsay."

The queen bee only laughed. "Trust me; I couldn't fool you like I could with Beth and Lindsay. You happen to have a greater IQ than a chair."

"And?"

"So I'm going to ask you upfront if you'd consider an alliance."

"You sure you didn't get brainwashed in the past twenty-four hours? First you actually apologize, then you try and help people, now you're being honest?"

"It's unusual for me, I _know_," Heather sneered. "But last season's over. I need a new approach, and what better way to gain their trust and at the same time insure my safety than to convince these losers I've turned over a new leaf?"

Valerina nodded, and sighed. "Yeah – no. I don't do alliances."

Without another word, Heather walked out of the forest, Valerina trailing behind.

* * *

**Tommy and Rainbow**

"Quwick, without lwooking bwack, can you tell if the seagull is stwill fowwowing us?"

The two children stopped quickly, and sure enough, the uneven thumps of bird feet hitting the ground grew louder.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this Tommy," she said, trying to catch her breath.

"Iwt's nowt mwuch farther, Rose," responded Tommy, leaning up against a tree.

"Call me Rainbow . . . And what's not much farther? I don't even know where we are!"

Mentally slapping himself, Tommy quickly said, "Mwe nweither, but we've bween wunning so long now, we've got to bwe cwose to somewhere."

"Then why did you –" Rainbow started, before Tommy interrupted.

"Wook out! The biwrdie bwought fwiends!"

Not waiting for an answer, the diabolical eight-year-old started running again, dragging Rainbow after him.

Minutes later, the duo had a whole herd of unstable animals chasing them. A strangled cry escaped the small girl's mouth when her school jacket caught on a branch, sending both her and Tommy to a jarring halt.

"Gwod, they'wre scarwy!" Tommy whispered, a strange fascination in his eyes. Rainbow, preoccupied with untangling herself from the offending branch, didn't notice.

"I know, I know! How many are there?" she asked.

Not waiting for an answer, she turned around to look herself. Immediately, she wished she hadn't.

"It's not that bad," Rainbow tried reassuring Tommy.

"Rweally?"

"Of course. It's only the three seagulls, a monkey with two noses, and a small herd of three-legged deer . . . Oh no, we're doomed."

Tommy nodded. The group of mutant animals stopped a couple feet away from them, and a small buck with dull red eyes and crooked antlers stepped forward.

"Tommy, help?" cried Rainbow, still fumbling with her jacket.

Grabbing a nearby branch, Tommy poked at the deer. It reared, sending the entire collection of creatures into a chaotic panic.

"I'm free!" the young girl shouted triumphantly.

"Thawt's gwreat. Cwome on!"

They started running again, leaving behind most of the animals. One of the seagulls, however, noticed them and started hopping after the two campers.

"Oh no, oh no. Tommy, it's following us again," Rainbow shrieked.

"Juwst kweep running! Iwt's gwetting lwighter!" he answered back.

The forest abruptly ended; and both Tommy and Rainbow tripped onto the empty dirt.

Somebody above them sneered, "Well, well, look what the cat dragged in."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – No Mutant Animals In Here! **

**Ezekiel** – When I was little, eh . . . /He shudders/ I really doo'nt want to think ab'oot it. Mother Nature and I doo'nt get aloo'ng.

**Yale** – Duncan. Tossed. The. Purse. If that means the difference between winning and losing this challenge . . . /He shakes his head and rolls his eyes/ Apparently Duncan 'don't do pink'. Well, I don't do losing.

**Kyle** - /Tapping his fingers nervously together/ Geoff and Bridgette sure get along, wouldn't you say? Ehehe. I hope this won't affect the challenge.

**Monet** – Sometimes I really wonder about Beth. I know she was born and raised on a farm, but I got chickens back home with more courage than her. Sure, Valley and Zane were fighting, but she shoulda stepped in before they hurt some'un.

**Noah** – I'm sure someday I'll be able to look back on these months I spent on Total Drama and laugh.

**Aaron** - /He glares at the camera/ Okay, what I want to know is how did Gail manage to get a bear chasing him? He could've gone any other direction, but he ended up going in my direction. I don't enjoy running for my life, just so all you rabid fans understand.

**Heather** – "I don't do alliances." Puh-lease. So what if one spoiled cheerleader won't join? I'll get some easier people to control to join me.

**Tommy** - /He face-palms/ I really need to be more careful around Rose, or Rainbow I guess. It's so easy to let slip something that could ruin the entire plan. I must admit, it'll be a shame to have to eliminate her.

/He blinks and laughs/ Of course, that's not going to stop me. There's only one winner in the end.

* * *

**Alex and Rosetta**

"I've been thinking, and I think it might be best to hide this somewhere. I mean, it's not exactly practical to carry something this large around. What do you think?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't care."

"You sure?" Rosetta asked, looking uncertain.

"Whatever," he shrugged again.

The matchmaker quickly lifted up the brightly-colored surfboard and hid it in a nearby tree.

Dusting off her hands, she walked back over to her fellow contestant.

"So where now?" she wondered.

"Where ever you want to go's fine."

Rosetta rolled her eyes and walked past him.

Trying to strike up a conversation, she said, "So why'd you decide to join Total Drama Impossible?

"I didn't."

"Then how'd you get here?"

"I arrived on a boat."

"No, I mean . . . Just forget it," she snapped, and then quickly covered her mouth.

"Fantastic."

Rosetta brushed the hair out of her eyes and continued stomping through the forest. The two didn't exchange another word.

* * *

**Tonia**

"So, Monet, later we should totally check out the beach. I heard it's totally one of the best places at Camp Wawanakwa."

Tonia walked out of the shower stalls and looked around.

"Monet, you still here?"

When nobody responded, she growled and narrowed her eyes, silently stalking over to the confessional.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Great Place To Rant**

**Tonia** – Some friend she is, deserting me like that. I mean, honestly, who does that kind of thing, promising to wait and then leaving you? She better have a good reason for it.

/She sighs/ Yeah, yeah. I know. We just met, like, an hour ago. Monet doesn't really owe me anything. And we are in the middle of a challenge. So whatever.

/She snickers and rolls her eyes/ Okay, do you know how _weird_ it is, talking in the Confessional Cam? It's like you're talking to yourself for millions of people to watch. Or is it billions? I'm pretty sure it's billions. I mean, this show does air all over the world.

So yeah, if you're watching this – if? Ha. More like when. When you're this, just know that I'm for a fact _not_ crazy. /She laughs/

Anyway, there's fifteen minutes of the challenge left. I should probably be going. If only I knew were Monet ran off too . . .

* * *

**Kai and Izzy**

"Left. Left. Left, right, left. Left. Left. Left, right, left. Left –"

"Izzy-Sensei, I understand how to march. After all, we did spend several years working undercover for the AWD –"

Izzy quickly tackled her cousin, clamping her hand over his mouth. After everything settled down again and silence filled the air, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"You never know when the enemy's listening in! Remember what Sergeant General told us?" the crazy redhead asked, leaping to her feet.

"Always throw the _grenade_ at the opposing force, not the pin?" Kai replied, jumping up himself.

"Izzy tried throwing the pin once. It wasn't very pretty."

"Mushroom clouds are not edible?"

"Nope, but I bet with a little bit of salt and pepper, anything's possible!"

"Never put mayonnaise on lettuce?"

"Poor Sergeant General never recovered from that," Izzy shuddered. "Although none of those are what Izzy is thinking of!"

"Then what is Izzy-Sensei thinking off?" Kai wanted to know.

"He said never tell anyone ever about the secret organization! Or else!"

"Or else what?"

"I don't know," she answered, looking mystified. "But it's gotta be bad."

Kai nodded solemnly, and Izzy started skipping again.

"And that's why you always have to go bowling in South Dakota with red shoes!" she concluded happily.

* * *

**Willow and Roxanne**

Panting, both girls looked behind them and sighed in relief. As soon as the cloud of dust and sand they kicked up settled, Roxanne said, "We lost him, right?"

Willow smirked. "I never doubted wouldn't. No way Chef Hatchet could keep up with us."

"Unfortunately, we also lost ourselves and our lunch."

Looking around, the Cosplayer nodded. "Yeah, that's kind of a problem, huh?"

"Aw, who's a good little green lion? Yes you are, yes you are!"

Willow glanced over at the circus girl and quickly started backing away.

"Roxi, where'd you get the lion? And why isn't it eating you?" she nervously laughed.

"I dunno. I got a talent with animals, I guess."

Roxanne looked at Willow hopefully and sighed sadly when she saw Willow's face.

"Stay Caterpillar," she told the lion.

"Caterpillar?" repeated Willow.

"That's its name."

Willow nodded slowly.

Roxanne tugged at the Cosplayer's hand. "Come on, we still got a challenge going on."

"Challenge, shmallenge. Screw McLean and his twisted mind games," Willow snarled, her red cat-like contacts glittering angrily.

Visibly wincing, Roxanne took a step away from her.

Willow didn't notice, and instead looked up. "Do you hear that?"

Roxanne followed Willow's gaze and nodded.

Breaking out into a run, the barefooted Cosplayer chuckled, "You have no idea how hard it is to run, dressed up like this."

Roxanne started to jog too, muttering, "When in doubt of where to go, always head towards the screams and shouts."

* * *

**Collins, Fire, and Rose**

"I cannot believe we lost the camera," Fire smiled half-heartedly.

Collins nodded absentmindedly, looking around.

"Worry not, for neither of thou art going home," she reassured them.

"That's a relief. Chris McLean wouldn't dare eliminate me though, 'cuz he'd lose a bunch of fans."

Rolling her eyes, Collins bent down to tie her shoes, while Fire merely laughed.

"Verily carefully," she said.

Rose and Collins looked at her.

"How I talk'th like so? Thou were both wondering, among other things, why."

"Verily carefully?" Rose asked the question that was on both her and the silent girl's mind.

"That, and it is a habit." Fire nodded.

"A habit?" repeated Rose.

"A habit," Fire nodded again.

They laughed.

"So anyways, I've decided to go searching on my own. You aren't worth my time," Rose said, interrupting the silence.

The pale girl turned around and walked away, waving a final goodbye over her shoulders.

"Rose, remember, not everyone is who they say they are," Fire called after her.

When Rose disappeared over the horizon, she added, "Thou art right. We should follow her."

Noticing Collins's questioning look, Fire said, "Lady Rose shall find out what I meant soon enough. If not now, then later. But she will."

Collins thought that sounded rather cryptic, but she followed Fire anyways.

* * *

**Draven**

Upon catching Xavier sneaking around in the cabins, Draven was weighing the options of confronting the short blonde about it.

'_On one hand, this could be very important to the challenge, a matter of winning or losing,' _he thought.

'_But on the other hand, it will most certainly waste valuable, much needed time for the challenge.'_

Eventually, he decided that wasting time was worse, and he quietly walked away.

After searching everywhere around the cabins and mess hall and not finding anything more than that teddy bear, Draven realized that he needed to get moving to somewhere different.

'_But being so late in the challenge, most of the normal places – the beach, the forest – will already be picked clean. Where is a place no one in their right mind would investigate?'_

Almost instantly, his gaze fell on the towering land mass that made its first appearance way back in challenge number one of Total Drama Island: the Cliff.

"Of course, Chris McLean is nothing if not utterly obvious. Why, I bet right now, practically everybody's on their way up there."

Draven laughed and walked in the opposite direction.

* * *

**Xavier**

"Too friggin' close," he muttered, as he watched Draven walk away.

Sneaking back out of the cabin, Xavier quickly went back over to Chris.

"McLean dude, how much longer is this gonna be?"

Chris held up a finger and turned around. Xavier – seeing Chris was on the phone – nodded.

"I understand . . . Yes, yes, of course . . . Wait, what? Triple the pay? . . . Fine, twice as much . . . We all look forward to seeing you again . . . Pleasure doing business with you."

Chris snapped the phone shut and looked at Xavier.

"Dude, the challenge's still going on. Why are you here?"

"Who was that you were talking too?" Xavier demanded.

"Oh, just renewing some contracts for a couple of the stars of Total Drama Island," the host answered vaguely.

"I'd ask, but I really don't want to know."

"That's the spirit. Now if you excuse me, I need to see my hair stylists."

"You what?" Xavier looked baffled.

"Hey, it's not easy looking this great. Don't worry, I'll be back before the challenge ends."

Chris McLean walked off to his trailer, the lady's man glaring at the back of his head.

* * *

**Artair**

"How much longer is this challenge?"

"Not much. Ten, twenty minutes?"

The gothic girl nodded. "I can handle that, I guess."

"What's the point of checking on how the challenge is going, though?" the short brunette questioned.

"Boss probably wanted us out of his hair, I bet. Sending us on a pointless goose hunt."

"What about Owen?" Cody asked.

Gwen chuckled. "He's got Mr. Coconut. Right now, the loveable oaf's probably oblivious to the world."

"I still can't believe that an inanimate object got further in TDI than I did," sighed Cody, snapping his finger.

"Technically, Mr. Coconut got 4.5th place, and was eliminated his first challenge, which means he didn't do better than, say, Homeschool."

Nervously laughing, Cody said, "So, after the challenge, you wanna get some pizza?"

Gwen stopped walking and glared at him. "Cody, you do remember I'm with Trent, right?"

"I just thought that, you know, with Trent all the way at Playa de Losers as the Aftermath host, you wouldn't mind spending some time with the Codemiester."

When Gwen's glare didn't lessen, Cody added, "As friends, that is?"

Thinking, Gwen smiled exasperatedly. "As friends . . . Are there any pizza joints around here anyway?"

Trailing behind the two interns, the island's wallflower did what he did best – being unnoticed. But after several minutes in the Wawanakwa sun, Artair noticed his ghostly white skin was turning a bright cheery red.

"Oh, bullocks," he whispered.

Taking care not to drop anything, Artair reached into his pocket and pulled out his umbrella. With a quiet _snap_, the umbrella opened up, blocking him from the harsh sunlight.

"Hey Gwen? Ever get the feeling that you're being watched?"

"Now that you mention it . . . Perchance we should make our way back to the Boss?"

Gwen and Cody altered their course, turning around and walking straight past Artair.

"Was he a contestant?" Cody whispered to his fellow intern.

"I've long learned to stop questioning things on this island," she whispered back.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – It's a Mob of Mutant Mammals**

**Rosetta** – /She looks at the ground, nervous/ I know we share the same cabin, and I shouldn't judge people so soon after meeting them, but honestly? I can't imagine anybody willing to be paired up with someone so self-absorbed and indifferent!

**Izzy and Kai – Kai - **/He snaps his finger/ Darn! As much as a scavenger hunt is, jumping off cliffs into shark-infested water would be the thrill of the century!

**Izzy** - /She is rapidly nodding her head/ Agreed! Also, Kenneth, I am missing my pet! Have you seen Mr. Wuzzums around?

**Roxanne** – I guess you could say I have a special talent with animals, but Willow seemed frightened by Wawanakwa's wildlife.

/She sighs/ Is it so much to ask for a talent that helps me fit in?

**Rose** – Sure, I'd love to continue searching with Fire and Collins . . . but I don't want to. /She crosses her arms/ Nope. Not at all. I don't need help in these challenges, and I don't need friends either.

**Draven** – Total Drama, Incorporated has plenty of money to waste on challenges. So why would the first challenge be one so tame and inexpensive? Simple. The next challenge will be a dangerous, impressive, gaudy mess and Chris McLean needs all the budget money he can schmooze.

**Xavier** – I'm pretty sure Draven's jealous he didn't think to raid the cabins before I did. I wonder if winning the first challenge would impress any of the ladies here. /He smirks/ Probably.

**Artair** - /He tilts his head/ T-T-That's not considered cheating, is it? I m-mean, it's not like C-Chris McLean said we couldn't f-follow Gwen and C-Cody . . . R-Right?

* * *

**Aaron, Alex, Beth, Bridgette, Collins, Courtney, Duncan, Ezekiel, Fire, Gail, Geoff, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Kenneth, Kyle, Monet, Noah, Rose (Rainbow), Rose, Rosetta, Roxanne, Tan, Tommy, Tonia, Valerina, Valley, Willow, Yale, and Zane**

Rosetta looked around, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Alex stretched nearby, not really paying attention.

"Well," began Rosetta tersely, "notice anything suspicious?"

"Suspicious like what?" someone curiously asked.

"Ack!" gasped Rosetta, turning around. Tonia chuckled amusedly, sticking her hands in her jean pockets.

"Come join the party," Alex snickered emotionlessly.

As if 'party' was the magic word, Geoff eagerly strolled on towards them.

"Party, did you say? Woohoo!" he cheered. "I love parties!"

Laughing, Bridgette ran after him. "I know you do, Geoff."

She tripped about half way there and toppled to the ground. Embarrassed, Bridgette scratched the back of her neck and said, "Hi all?"

Quickly following the two, Courtney and Kyle joined the group, looking around.

"Hey . . . Where's that other dude that was with us?" asked Kyle.

"Oh, we lost Tan a while ago, bro," Geoff answered nonchalantly.

"We did? And you didn't tell me?" Courtney demanded.

Bridgette swatted Geoff playfully on the shoulder. "That wasn't very nice off you!"

The lovebird's flirting was drowned out by loud, arguing shouts. Tonia and Rosetta had enough time to exchange an exasperated look before Valley and Zane walked up.

"Of course it's you' fault, ye lily-livered coward," Zane growled at her.

She hissed back. "I'm not the one sailing around in those gaudy ships of yours, burning coal and wood all day long. And at least I use proper grammar!"

"If I may ask, what are they even arguing about?" wondered Kyle.

"Oh, they're blaming each other for the hole in the ozone layer," answered Monet.

"They've been arguing like thith for a while now," Beth added.

"The hole in the ozone layer?" repeated Tonia.

When Beth and Monet nodded, Courtney snorted, but before she could comment, Willow and Roxanne burst through the trees and skidded to a halt.

"We heard shouting . . . ?" Roxanne trailed off.

Bridgette pointed towards Valley and Zane, and Willow sighed.

"Still?" she groaned.

Geoff nodded, and Roxanne muttered, "Well, that was a waste of time."

"Speaking of wastes of time, you all standing around and conversing probably isn't helping you in the challenge," Noah dryly said.

"You're one to talk," argued Alex in an equally dry voice.

"No, Noah's got a point –" began Courtney.

"Don't I always?" he interrupted.

Glaring at him, she continued. "This is the first challenge, people! We need to start moving!"

"Why died and put you in charge?" sneered Heather, pushing past a final tree branch.

"Chris died? Darn shame," Valerina asked, trailing a couple seconds behind Heather.

"He died, eh?" gasped Ezekiel.

"How'd he die? We saw him less than an hour ago?" asked Harold.

Ezekiel noticed all the glaring eyes and quickly hid behind his redheaded teammate.

"Dude, McLean kicked the bucket? What's going to happen to us now?" Tan said, pushing past Ezekiel and Harold and joining the main group of contestants.

"I kicked a bucket once! It hurt my foot!" laughed Izzy.

"We're gonna have to learn to live in the wild, eating roasted boar and building bamboo shelters!" Kai shouted happily.

Everybody stared at the two cousins who had just popped up from nowhere.

"When'd you get here?" demanded Courtney.

"We've been here a while!" declared Kai.

Izzy shook her head. "I still can't believe Mister McLean took the Pegasus for a ride."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rose wondered, shaking the sand from her shoes.

"Aw, hi Rainbow!" Beth cooed. Rose glared at her.

"I'm Rose, the sixteen year old, not the midget eight year old," she scoffed.

"Not our fault you look like her," muttered Valerina to Heather, who snickered and nodded.

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Rose shifted her glare to Heather.

"Nothing," Valerina smiled sweetly, and added, "Except you have the body of a ten year old. That's all."

Rose took a deep breath and smiled. "Watch your back. Now can someone tell me if Chris McLean really did die? Or took some winged horse for a ride?"

Joining the party in time to here that, Collins gasped, her eyes growing wide.

Everybody there started muttering amidst each other about conspiracy theories, before Fire shouted above the noise, "Calm thyselves."

The contestants quieted down and turned towards the mind-reader.

"Sir Chris McLean is not dead, worry not –" she started, but was interrupted by a chorus of, "We weren't!"

"He is not dead," Fire continued, and added, glancing at Izzy, "and he is not riding a Pegasus, nor any other creature of mythical beings."

"Now that we've got Chris's death under control –" Courtney began again.

"Wait, wait, wait, what? Chris McLean is dead?" Tonia repeated.

Before anybody could start arguing again, two new bickering contestants were heard.

"Where's that pink menace we found anyway?"

Somebody chuckled and answered, "Oh, that thing? I ditched it a while back. I don't do pink."

Valerina started snickering, and Duncan and Yale realized that they weren't alone.

"Howdy Princess. Long time no see," Duncan winked at Courtney.

"Don't call me Princess," she shot back at him.

"Not my fault you're as demanding and hot as one."

"And you're still as insolent and audacious as a Neanderthal."

"Impressive vocabulary. Did you learn those for the SATs?"

"Maybe, if you'd ever open a dictionary for a change, you could use more than two-syllable words yourself!"

"Earth to Princess: Last time I checked, impressive had three syllables and vocabulary had five."

"Ogre."

"Goody two shoes."

Courtney crossed her arms and turned away.

Several other contestants rolled their eyes at the couple's odd flirting, and turned their attention back towards Yale.

"The idiot tossed the only scavenger hunt lead we had," he shrugged.

Just then, the two children came running up and started cowering behind everybody.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," Heather sneered.

"What be it?" Zane asked, ignoring the Queen Bee.

In response, they pointed at a hobbling creature approaching them.

"Biwrdie," Tommy muttered helplessly.

The mutant bird hopped forward until it reached the edge of the cliff, which it then toppled over and into the waters below.

Before anybody could comment on the odd animal, Gale and Aaron burst through the trees, looking as if they'd run a mile through the jungle – which, in this case, they had.

"What happened to ya'll?" Monet giggled.

Gail pointed behind them and panted, "Bear . . . chasing . . . gah . . ."

"Aw, is the little boy afraid of a little bear?" Willow asked in mock sympathy.

"Screw . . . you . . ." Aaron muttered, glaring at her.

The campers milled around in an awkward silence, before Noah threw his hands up in the air, annoyed.

"Apparently, every single camper –"

"Except Draven, dude," interrupted Geoff.

"And Panda Boy," Izzy cheered.

"And Xavier," added Monet.

Noah stared at them and continued, "So basically, thirty-three contestants –"

"Only thirty," Courtney said.

"Yeah, Xavier's not here," Tonia sighed.

"Neither is Draven," shrugged Yale.

"Or Artair," Rosetta commented.

"Do you mind?" muttered Noah.

"Nope. Continue," Roxanne answered happily.

"Everybody here – most of the campers on the island – all just coincidentally happened to meet up here? Here of all places? The top of the Cliff from the first challenge of last season?"

There was a chorus of nods.

"And none of you happened to notice anybody else on your way up here?"

There was another chorus of everybody shaking their heads.

"Fabulous," Noah rolled his eyes.

"Well, on the bright side," Aaron sighed, "this can't get any worse."

"Never say that, because the Gods of Fate always love proving you wrong," Noah argued.

"You weren't chased up a friggin' cliff by a bear," Gale shot back.

"At least you didn't have to spend the entire challenge with him," Valley said, pointing at Zane.

"Try dragging two lovebirds up said cliff," grumbled Courtney, shooting Bridgette and Geoff a dirty look.

"Yeah, well, Court, next time why don't you tell your boyfriend not to ditch the only thing we have for the challenge?" Yale imitated Noah and rolled his eyes.

"He's not my boyfriend!" she screeched.

"Speaking of which . . ." Xavier trailed off, winking at Monet.

"Homewrecker," Tonia whispered fiercely to Monet.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered back.

"So, Mr. Sexist, still think guys are stronger than girls?" asked Roxanne, jabbing poor Ezekiel.

"No, eh!" he tried to tell her, cowering behind Harold.

"And you!" Courtney shouted, whirling on Harold. "You lying, cheating, sneaking, backstabbing, traitorous –"

Her rant was cut short by a cackle. Everybody turned in time to see a flash of red hair disappear over the edge of the cliff.

Geoff, the closest, peered down into the waters below and said, "Yep, the crazy dudette jumped."

"Why?" Noah asked, and then added, "That was a rhetorical question."

Tan walked over to Geoff and subtly pushed him off the Cliff.

"My bad," he chuckled.

Everybody stopped arguing and watched Kyle stomp over to Tan and shove him off the cliff.

In a desperate attempt to regain his balance, Tan grabbed a hold of the nearest person, Bridgette. Reacting without thinking, Bridgette snatched Courtney's arm, who in turn grasped Duncan. The four wobbled back and forth on the edge before Tommy walked over and subtly pushed Tan, sending all four over.

"I'm sowrry! I'm sowrry!" Tommy cried. "I was juwst twying to helwp, and they fwell!"

Kyle glared at the little child and said, "Was that necessary?"

Tommy skipped over to Kyle and whispered, "It was absolutely necessary, and so is this."

Before Kyle could respond, Tommy said in a louder voice, "I diwdn't mwean to! Dwon't pwush me off Kywle!"

The bombshell blinked, and Tommy stumbled over the edge. A couple seconds later, they heard the splash of Tommy hitting the water.

Monet gasped and stormed over to Kyle.

"You big bully!" she growled and slapped him.

"No, I didn't push him off!" protested Kyle. "He jumped! He's evil!"

Monet scoffed, "City folk like you disgust me."

She reached over and shoved him. When she was satisfied by the sound of him crashing into the ocean, she walked back to everybody.

"Wow, Country. I didn't know you had that in you," Heather nodded, impressed.

Monet smiled warily. "Thanks Heather? I hate bullies. And Miley Cyrus."

Heather laughed, the gears in her head spinning; and Valerina smiled sadly at Monet, who later could've sworn it was a pitying smile.

Rose carefully walked over towards the end of the cliff and muttered, "Déjà vu."

Kai nodded. "Anyone else find it strange that all of us –"

"Except Arty," interrupted Aaron.

"And Xavier," Gail commented.

"Don't forget about Draven," Roxanne laughed.

"Are we really going to do that every time?" grumbled Noah.

Kai blinked and continued. "Thirty three of us minus three –"

"So just thirty?" Harold calculated.

Izzy's cousin beamed. "Yep!"

"Well, why didn't you say so? Gosh!"

"Guyth, can't we all be friendth?" Beth pleaded.

"Friends? Who wants to be friends with her?" Zane sneered, glaring at Valley.

Ignoring him, the ninja girl whispered to Willow, "Mind if I take a leaf out of your book?"

"Sure," the Cosplayer answered, then paused and said, "Wait, what do you mean?"

Willow didn't have to wait long for an answer. Valley turned around and tackled her unsuspecting target. The force of her tackle sent both of them spiraling into ocean.

"So that's what she meant," nodded Willow appreciatively.

"Either they're going to end up killing each other by the end of the season –" began Roxanne.

"– or they're going to end up killing us," finished Noah.

Willow smirked evilly at Aaron and stalked over towards him.

"Hey," he said, slowly backing up, "there's no need for anything rash, brah."

She crossed her arms and responded, "Boo."

Panicking, the loner stumbled backwards, lost his footing, and had enough time to glare at Willow before joining the many others soaking wet.

"You know what?" asked Willow cheerfully. "That's still as satisfying every time."

With the dwindling crowd, those who wished to hide were suddenly more noticeable than they wanted to be.

Tonia scanned the contestants, and her eyes settled on Ezekiel.

"Still think girls aren't as strong and smart as guys?" she demanded.

"N – No!" he protested. "I doo'nt! Girls are joo'st as smart as guys, eh!"

"And why'd you suddenly change your mind about that . . . eh?" mocked Valerina.

Ezekiel shook his head and stared at his shoes. Finally, he muttered, "I'm soo'ry?"

Heather stalked up to Ezekiel and glared at him. "You better be."

Harold started striking kung fu moves in an effort to defend himself and Ezekiel from the Queen Bee's wrath.

"Shove it, geek." Heather rolled her eyes, doing just that – shoving the poor redhead off the cliff.

"Why'd yoo' push him?" gasped Ezekiel.

"I agree!" Beth piped up. "Why don't you grow a heart, Heather, and do thomething nithe?"

"I don't need to be lectured by the 'lithping' farm girl," she shot back.

"You should be nicer, Heather," Ezekiel said, and added softer, "I knoo' yoo' can do it."

While Heather was still trying to digest what the homeschooled boy meant, Tonia took her chance to lightly push Ezekiel over the edge.

"Now we're even!" she called after him.

"Eh?" he screamed, disappearing from view.

"What the . . .? Did you just push Homeschool? Off. The. Cliff?" demanded Heather.

Tonia nodded, looking proud.

The raven-haired antagonist glared and tripped the overconfident Tonia.

"My hair!" the beauty queen gasped, falling out of view.

Monet stormed up to Heather and jabbed her. "That was uncalled for!"

"Get used to it, Backwoods Barbie," Heather scoffed.

"Ya'll were right," Monet said to the remaining campers. "This witch is evil."

Before Heather could come up with a witty response, she herself was falling after Tonia.

Monet grinned happily, before Valerina tipped her off the cliff.

"Payback," the cheerleader smirked.

"Isn't payback great?" agreed Rose, shoving Valerina after the small town girl.

"Pray, we stop this? It is most dangerous," Lady Fire pleaded.

"Actually . . ." Gail trailed off, glaring at Willow. "Some people need a wakeup call."

The Cosplayer glared back at him and calmly walked over to him. Before she could reach him, however, somebody tripped her and she fell head over heels into the water.

Gail blinked. "Whoa, dude. I so didn't do that."

"Is she okay?" gasped Rainbow, who was standing mere feet away from where Willow fell.

"I blame you," Roxanne accused, pointing at Gail.

"I was over here! How's it _my _fault?"

The circus girl shrugged. "It just is."

And with that, Gail was tossed after Willow.

"This has been most fascinating. Are we finished?" asked Noah dryly.

"We should probably leave before more people take the plunge," added Alex.

Ignoring them, Kai swung past everybody on a vine, causing both Rose and Rainbow to tumble down like so many others. Collins and Lady Fire both hurried over to the edge, worried for Rose.

Noah face-palmed. "Where'd he get the vine?"

"We are standing next to a forest," Alex answered.

"But it's. Not. Possible! It defies all laws of physics," Noah argued.

"Thou would think after spending an entire season with Lady Isabella, thee would be used to strange behavior," commented Fire.

"Don't make me come over there and push you too," warned Noah, making no move.

"We should thstart heading back to Chrith. Aren't we in a challenge?" Beth reminded everybody.

Roxanne and Rosetta nodded.

"I guess so," the matchmaker agreed.

"Put. Me. Down."

The remaining contestants all turned around to watch Kai grab Noah and drag him over to Collins and Fire.

"You know, Noah-Sa, you remind me of this one guy I knew," Kai said. "I didn't like him."

Noah blinked, and Kai tossed him after Rainbow.

Attempting not to take what would be a painful fall; Noah grabbed Collins, who snatched hold of Fire, who snagged Beth's shirt. All four balanced for a second, until a gust of wind tipped them into the ocean.

"I wonder what would happen if we just stayed up here. Would we win the challenge, do you think?" asked Kai eagerly.

Rosetta and Yale laughed.

"Wait," the gambler said. "Wasn't there another dude up here? Alex or somethin'?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, Roxanne answered, "He was annoying me."

Yale blinked and backed away.

"I wonder where everybody else is right now," Rosetta asked.

"Probably soaking wet and mad," guessed Kai.

"We really should get going," Roxanne admitted.

"No way I'm climbing all the way back down," groaned Yale.

"There's always another way down," Rosetta reminded then, motioning to the drop off.

"I'll pass!" the circus girl shuddered.

"Why, you chicken?" mocked Yale.

Roxanne glared at him, and Rosetta stepped between them.

"Let's not fight?" she pleaded.

"No, fighting's fun!" encouraged Kai.

"I've jumped through rings of fire, tamed lions, balanced on strands of wire a hundred feet off the ground. Roxanne Lou is not a chicken," growled Roxanne.

"Chill, Circus Freak. I'm just joking –"

Yale never finished that sentence. Roxanne had pushed Rosetta out of the way and tackled Yale.

The gambler and the circus girl quickly tumbled downhill; and poor Rosetta lost her balance and fell after them.

Kai looked around at the deserted clearing. Minutes ago, it had been filled with thirty contestants. Now, he was all alone.

He started laughing, and jumped off for the hell of it.

* * *

**Confessional Cam** **– When Push Comes To Shove**

**Bridgette** – Am I mad at Tan for dragging me after him? /She chuckles sheepishly/ I accidentally dragged Courtney after me, so I don't really have a right to be mad at him. Forgive and forget, right? Besides, knowing me and my two left feet, I would've somehow fallen off myself.

**Gail** – So what if I've nearly died twice today? Key word being _nearly_. Like I said, I'm a survivalist, and Total Drama Impossible is just one more annoying obstacle to survive.

**Willow** – /She wrings out her wig/ Digimon? Really now? And he wonders why I don't like him.

**Courtney** – That Duncan is just so . . . ugg! He's annoying and repulsive and disgusting. He talks with his mouth open, and he's so full of himself, and – /The tape fast forwards/ Don't even get me started on his mohawk! Honestly, have you seen it? It's unnatural and unprofessional and green! /The tape fast forwards again/ – and he doesn't even use soap!

/She glares at the camera/ And don't think I don't know what happened that night in 'Are We There, Yeti'.

**Duncan** – /He yawns and stretches/ Princess so wants me.

**Valley** – Did you see the look on the pirate's face when I tackled him? /She laughs/ And he thought ninjas were useless!

**Collins** – /She sighs/

* * *

Some returned to the camp ground empty handed. Others were lucky enough to find something in their desperate attempt to find anything. But one way or another, all the contestants gathered in front of the host.

Chris regarded the thirty-three campers who stood before him, thirty of which were completely soaked. He chuckled amusedly.

"Do I want to know what happened to you losers?" he asked, quite serious.

Kicking at the ground with his foot, Geoff meekly laughed, which caused Bridgette to start giggling. Moments later Willow and Duncan both started cracking up, and before long, all the campers were laughing.

"Well, pretty much everybody," Valley explained, "coincidentally met up at the top of the Cliff, besides Draven and Xavier."

"And Artair," added Rosetta. "So, you see, there was this accident . . ."

The contestants started laughing again, while Chris tapped his foot impatiently.

"Yeah dude, but it was more like several accidents," Geoff scratched the back of his head.

"And it all went . . ." Gail paused, trying to get his laughter under control, ". . . _downhill_ from there."

Just then, Owen panted up to Chris and said, "Great news Boss! Chef says the food's all ready for dinner tonight!"

The large intern noticed everybody laughing and snapped his finger. "Aw, did I miss a party?"

"Party? We're having a party?"

The other two interns approached from the opposite direction, one looking eager at the thought of a party, the other just looking ticked off.

"That was the most pointless goose hunt ever, McLean," Gwen declared, glaring at him. Blinking, she looked around.

"What happened to you?" she laughed, gesturing to the soaking wet campers.

Everybody started talking again.

"Chris, we've spent an hour on your lame-o scavenger hunt. Can we get on with the rest of the challenge now?" Courtney shouted over all the noise.

"Thank you! Sheesh, kids these days," Chris McLean rolled his eyes.

"Okay, let's separate you. If you found nothing at all, you losers can go over there."

After a couple of seconds, a shamefaced Bridgette trudged over there. Noah shrugged and separated himself from the group, with an indignant Tonia following him. Tan walked after them.

"You, Monica," Chris said, pointing at Monet. "I know we didn't choose you campers for your brains, but it's rather obvious you failed this challenge."

"But I'm with Valley and them! And mah name's Monet!" she argued.

"It doesn't matter who're you're _with_," explained Gwen. "The fact is, she found something, and you found nothing."

Monet, trailed by Zane and Beth, drifted over towards Tonia, Noah, Bridgette, and Tan.

"How's come the Ninja gets to win?" complained the still-soaking Zane.

"'Cuz I found it," Valley answered.

"We have a time schedule people! Chop, chop!" Chris shouted, annoyed.

Rainbow waved goodbye and skipped away from her partner. Still grumbling, Roxanne cast dark looks as she joined the ever-growing group of losers.

Chris scanned the crowd and said, "Mr. Gay and Mr. Party Animal, don't think you can try and hide."

Baffled, Kyle and Geoff walked over there, but not before Kyle managed to stomp on Chris's foot in the process.

With the host hopping around on one foot, Gwen stepped forward and declared, "Crazy-In-Training, Weird Popular Girl, and the newbie cheerleader. You three are out of the challenge."

"No! I won't submit!" screeched Courtney.

A couple of the other contestants started snickering when she comically stomped her foot in anger.

"Miss Crazy, you can have Izzy-Sensei's stuff!"

Courtney turned and stared at Izzy. "Why?"

"Why not!" Izzy answered, bouncing on the heels of her shoes.

"Good answer," the CIT said.

"Wait, what about _me_?" demanded Heather.

Izzy thought about that. "You and Courtney-La can split my stuff!"

Chris blinked angrily and pronounced, "Fine, fine. Whatever makes you emo teens happy. Crazy Number 1, Crazy Number 2, and Valerina: You three are still out. Collins, you too. Come on people, we don't have all day."

Izzy dumped a pile of the contestant's stolen belongings in a pile and dragged Collins towards away from the dwindling group of campers.

Kai did the same with Valerina and followed his cousin, humming 'Jingle Bells' under his breath.

"I'll never understand what is going on through their minds," chuckled Cody.

"Now that that's finally out of the way, can we move on?" Chris McLean asked.

"With pleasure," Alex dryly answered.

Before the host could continue, everybody was distracted by a . . . well, distraction known as teenage hormones.

"Didn't you two break up?" Gwen rhetorically asked. Izzy and Owen – too busy in a make our session – didn't answer.

Finally, Izzy grinned and responded, "Izzy-Sensei forgives Owen-La. As long as he doesn't push me into any more serial killers!"

"Yes, because there's definitely an abundance of serial killers hiding on this island," Noah shot at her.

"If you're going to go all lovey-dovey, do it on your own time. We're kind of in the middle of a challenge here," Tonia reminded everybody.

"You know, Princess, you and I could always try that some times," Duncan winked at Courtney.

"Ewww, Duncan! On national television?" she stuck her tongue out at him and turned away.

"Let's play a game: Anybody who talks out of turn is eliminated."

That got everybody's attention. The campers stood there and glared at Chris, although nobody said a word.

"Much better," McLean smirked.

"So do this organized and orderly," Cody started. "Gail, what'd you find?"

The tired survivalist pointed behind him at the large bear that had been chasing the contestants. The bear was happily munching away on marshmallows.

"How'd we not notice that before?" asked Noah.

"Fuzzy!" Izzy shouted in delight, jumping on the much-larger-than-her bear. **[3]**

"One thing? Lame," Gwen rolled her eyes. "Anybody find more than one?"

"I found two. I'm not sure how much better than one is, though." Draven held out two teddy bears – one normal looking, and another adorned with wings and a devilish smile.

"Anything higher than three?" Gwen called out, and then added, "I feel like I'm at an auction."

"Three!" shouted Courtney and Heather at the same time.

"Three? Going once, going twice –"

"Fwour?" Tommy called out.

"Five," smirked Xavier.

"Five? Really?" Chris repeated in disbelief.

In answer, Xavier – one of the only campers not soaking wet – held up a pair of bright pink underwear.

"What? They belong to the other campers, and they're 'borrowed'," argued Xavier.

While all of the female contestants glared at Chris, the host nodded and smirked. "Of course, of course. So five? Anybody have higher than five?"

Nobody answered, and Chris continued, "Which makes Tommy and Xavier our two winners of today's challenge. We would've had three winners, had Courtney and Heather not tied."

"A-Actually?" somebody spoke up shyly.

McLean looked around and eventually found Artair. "When'd you get here?"

"I've b-been here to en-t-tire time?" he chuckled nervously. "I have s-seven different p-possessions?"

Everybody blinked.

"Seven?" Chris repeated again. "How?"

"I k-kind of, m-might of, f-followed . . . Gwen and . . . Cody?"

"Oh, stalker-licious," commented Noah. **[4]**

Artair pulled his hoodie down over his eyes and shifted uncomfortably.

Izzy glomped Artair, shouting, "You stalk people too?"

"Well, in that case, Tommy, Xavier, and . . . that guy, are the winners," declared Chris.

"For the love of Chanel, just take them already!" exploded Heather.

"What?" she asked when all eyes turned towards her. "Courtney wouldn't stop glaring at me, as if it was my fault she didn't win."

Courtney smirked triumphantly.

Before anybody could protest, Chris said, "Stop being so damn fickle! Artair, with seven, Courtney, with six, and Xavier, with five, you three win. Honestly, do you campers think we have all day for this?"

Tommy smiled at Courtney. "Gwood jwob!"

"Now, who wants to know the purpose of this scavenger hunt?" asked Chris, then continued. "To choose teams, of course."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Didn't See That Coming Now, Did You?**

**Tommy** – /He clenches his teeth/ If I were team captain . . . Stupid Izzy for giving away her prize, stupid Heather for giving away her prize, stupid Artair for winning.

**Courtney** – Team captain? Well, of course I am! With my leadership skills, my team can't fail!

* * *

The contestants glanced at each other, wary.

"These three 'winners' are your new team captains, who will be picking schoolyard style ten campers to join them."

"Scavenger hunts? Schoolyard style? What, do we look ten or something to you?" an annoyed Duncan questioned.

"Oh, teamth are fun! Ath long ath I'm not with Heather, that ith," Beth added.

Everybody looked expectantly at Artair, and he muttered, "I c-chose . . . R-Rose . . ."

All three Roses looked at Chris.

The host looked between all three of them and nodded his head. ". . . Yes."

"I guess we're all joining his team," Rosetta smiled.

Rainbow grinned happy and hugged Artair. "Thank you mister!"

Rose just shrugged and said, "Well, consider yourself lucky to have me."

"That's not fair! He gets three teammates at once?" demanded Courtney.

"Come on babe, lighten up. It's your turn to pick," Xavier comforted her, winking.

"Duncan, of course," she said, ignoring him.

"It's rather stupid, to flirt with another contestant's girl," Roxanne warned Xavier.

"I am nobody's girl," screeched Courtney.

Duncan walked up to Courtney and wrapped an arm around her, glaring at Xavier. "You sure about that, Princess?"

Cody cleared his throat loudly.

"Oh, my choice is the terrific Tonia," shrugged Xavier.

Said beauty queen smirked and sashayed next to him. "With pleasure, Shorty."

"Heather," declared Courtney, cutting them off.

"Good choice," Heather agreed.

"And I'll take the magnificent Monet."

The country girl smiled, and Xavier bowed. "Welcome to the team, m'lady."

Fire grimaced. "Pray, thou do'th not speak'th in thy medieval accent."

"Oh, oh, oh, pick E-Scope!" Izzy grinned, jumping up and down.

"Izzy, I guess. Promise me you won't burn down all our cabins?" Courtney said, looking wary.

"Of course. After all, Izzy already burned down the cabins. Izzy wants to try something new – like Kenneth-San's dynamite!"

This did little to reassure Courtney.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Always Picked Last**

**Rose** – I'm glad I'm on Artair's team! Although if I was on Courtney's team, she could help me with my homework!

**Beth** – I hope I'm not on Courtney'th team. She'th not very nithe to me. I really don't wanna be on Xthavier'th team, either.

**Fire** – I have'th to say, all three team leaders art going to make some smart choices . . . and some choices that will cost thee. Well, as thou always speak'th, thy needs to break some eggs to create an omelet.

* * *

"Beautiful Bridgette, would you care to join?" Xavier asked the surfer.

"Um . . . sure?"

In the process of walking towards her new team, Bridgette tripped. Fortunately, Kyle grabbed her arm and steadied her.

"Thanks Kyle," she laughed. "I'm a little bit clumsy."

"Any time," he responded with a wave of his hand.

"Kyle!" Courtney grinned, ignoring the faces Duncan was making at the idea of sharing a team with him.

He high-fived Courtney and said, "Ready to win?"

"I was born ready," the CIT answered with grim determination.

"Vivacious Valerina."

"Huh. I'm surprised you even knew what vivacious meant. Congratulations. While you might grow up and live alone with fifty cats, at least we all know you are, in fact, smarter than a fifth grader."

The cheerleader laughed at the stunned expression on Xavier's face.

"L-E! T-S! G-O! Let's go!" Valerina shouted in a much more cheerful voice.

"In that case, I'll choose –" Courtney was cut short by Rosetta arguing, "Aren't you forgetting somebody?"

Artair fidgeted as the contestants looked at him again. "A-Aaron? A-and then . . . H-Harold?"

"Boo-yah!" cheered Harold.

Courtney snapped and lunged at him. Cody tried holding her back, and when he failed, Gwen grabbed hold of the furious CIT's arm.

Owen quickly dropped Izzy – who thudded to the grass below, bemusedly – and lifted Courtney off the ground by the scruff of her shirt.

"Can't we all be friendth?" pleaded Beth.

Courtney calmed down and crossed her arms, though her snarl was somewhat lessened in effect to do the fact that she was suspended a foot above the ground by Owen.

Harold peered out from behind his shield – poor Ezekiel – and said, "I'm sorry! Gosh!"

She rolled her eyes and looked away.

"If thou wish," nodded Fire.

The campers stared at her.

She sighed. "It is most annoying, having to explain everything I say."

"Oh!" Courtney laughed. "I was thinking of choosing you next, right?"

"Thou art right."

"A psychic could come in handy," Kyle agreed.

That caused a brief moment of worriment from the campers not on Courtney's team – and those who were.

"The victorious Valley is my next choice," announced Xavier, oblivious to the conflict.

"Do I have to?" she grumbled.

Chris McLean smirked.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Eh, why not. Geoff, get over here." Courtney glared at Owen and added, "And you, Tubby, can put me down now."

A sheepish Owen dropped Courtney, and she stomped off, muttering something about calling her lawyers.

"Radiant Roxanne. Circus girls are always entertaining and –"

The short lady's man was cut off by a slap from said circus girl.

"Don't finish that sentence," Roxanne snarled at him.

Courtney rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Save your little soap opera for after the challenge. I'll choose –"

Aaron not-so-subtly coughed. "Forgetting anybody?"

The campers – and Chris and the three interns – all turned towards Artair, as if just remembering him – which was more or less the truth.

Artair looked around nervously and stuttered out, "Beth?"

The farm girl beamed at her new team captain. A devious Heather smirked.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – She's Up To No Good**

**Beth** – I can't believe it! Thith ith tho exthiting! I'm not only Courtney'th or Xthavier'th team or Heather'th team, and I wathn't choothen latht!

**Geoff** – Woo! Party time with all my bros and brahs! /He frowns/ If only my dudette Bridgette was on my team.

**Valerina** – Anyone else noticing a pattern for Xavier's choices? Like, anyone at all? Tch. He's so going to, like, pay.

**Harold** - /He looks shaken/ Why do I have to feeling Courtney won't be accepting any apologies from me for a while?

* * *

"It's your turn to pick, Team Captain," Rose said indifferently, nodding at Rosetta.

She blinked. "I'm not the team captain."

Rose smirked. "True. No way a 'matchmaker' could win the first challenge."

Subconsciously, her teammates all took a step away from the offending contestant.

Crossing her arms, Rose rolled her eyes and said, "Any day now?"

"T-Tommy?" Artair choose, so quietly several people couldn't hear him.

The child grinned happily, apparently pleased at not being the last one chosen.

* * *

**Confessional Cam – He's Also Up To No Good**

**Tommy** – That was probably the best mistake Artair made.

* * *

"Draven." Courtney nodded at the rookie genius.

He adjusted his glasses and said confidently, "I'd say your chances of winning just went up a good 12 percent."

"Courageous Collins. Your silent beauty will benefit us all."

By now, everybody'd grown tired of Xavier's nonstop flirting, and Monet snapped, "'Us all' referring to you, I assume."

The silent girl nodded resignedly but made no move to join her team.

"Gail," exclaimed Courtney, now ignoring Xavier.

"How do you thtand being forgotten all the time, mithter?" Beth asked Artair.

He smiled uncertainly and answered, "I-I've gotten u-used to it . . ."

"It's our turn now," Harold reminded his team. "Past our turn actually!"

"Willow?"

Willow sighed in relief that she wasn't on Xavier's team but stopped when she realized she was on Aaron's team.

"Look," began Aaron warily. "I know you and I don't get along well, but maybe we could retry this thing?"

The Cosplayer nodded hesitantly, but didn't let down her guard.

"So," the loner began friendly, "what Digimon are you supposed to be?"

"Pokémon," Willow shot back, spacing each syllable, before turning her back on him.

Xavier looked at the team-less campers and sighed. "Alex."

The dark-haired teen rolled his eyes and said, "Fantastic."

"Way to show some enthusiasm," Noah remarked.

"Princess, choose Yale," Duncan whispered to his girlfriend.

"You aren't the boss off me!" she muttered furiously.

"Do you want the lazy bookworm, slow-witted surfer, the sexist, Crazy Number 2, or the pirate instead?" Draven added, joining in.

"I'd say you just made a very broad stereotypical analysis of those campers," Kyle argued.

"Did somebody say _crazy_?" Izzy asked at the same time.

"Next time I want your opinions, I'll ask for them!" snapped Courtney, but none the less choose Yale.

"Noah, Ezekiel, Kenneth, Tan, and Zane. Tell me, how does it feel to be such losers?" Heather taunted the five teens.

"I don't know, Heather. How does it feel?" smirked Noah.

"All the girls are already choo'sen, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Care to make something off it?" an annoyed Bridgette replied.

"N-no, eh!" the homeschooled teen stuttered back.

Xavier scanned the dwindling crowd and grumbled, "Tan."

"Aw, bro," Geoff whined nervously.

"Miss Captain Courtney, sir, ma'am!" Izzy shouted excitedly. "Choose Kenneth!"

Biting her bottom lip, the CIT nodded. "Kai?"

"Zane," Xavier said indifferently.

The pirate would've made a rude comment towards the lady's man, had he not been too busy glaring dangers at Valley.

"Which leaves Noah and Homeschool with the other team," decided Gwen.

"Now that that's finally out of the way, one more thing to cover: team names," Chris McLean continued.

Courtney immediately replied, "We're the Ferocious Falcons."

Xavier added, "Then we'll be the Sexy Salamanders."

"We will?" gagged Valerina.

"Well, Artair, any day now?" Cody prompted him.

The wallflower looked down at his feet and fidgeted. When he looked up, everybody was staring at him.

"G-gah, s-stop staring! Oh Jesus, this is s-scary . . ." **[5]**

"Hmm. Team Oh Jesus? Good job!" the host smirked.

"Well, you've all selected your teammates. Will they be your allies, your love interests . . . or your mortal enemies?" Chris McLean chuckled.

"Let's find out. Because right now, it's voting time. Team captains – you are safe. Everybody else?" he chuckled again. "You better start praying."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – The Moment Of Truth**

**Zane** – /He tips his pirate hat at the camera/ Voting? Shan't be too hard. I already know exactly who I be votin' for.

**Alex** – There thirty-two other campers here and I wouldn't mind if any of them left. So whatever gets me farther for now floats my boat.

**Heather** – /She laughs/ Forget the challenge. When it comes down to voting, that's where my true colors shine.

* * *

Immediately, several of the campers lined up by the voting confessional, their votes already in mind. Others, however preferred to take a while to think about all their options.

Walking around the cabins, a certain Queen Bee overheard what appeared to be a private conversation. Quickly ducking back into hiding, she listened in.

"Kywle," somebody said. "Thawt's who."

"He did? For real?" another person asked.

There was no mistaking Tommy's voice, but Heather couldn't recognize the other high-pitched female voice.

"Yes. He's bween mwean to mwe!" Tommy answered.

The other contestant gasped. "I was going to vote for Heather, but bullying a little kid like you? Not cool! I'll have to rethink my vote now."

"Hweather or Kywle. Iwt's going to bwe a cwose call," Tommy said.

"I know. We should go vote now, before it's too late," the girl agreed.

Sensing she was about to be discovered, Heather quickly and ungracefully stood up and started hunting down campers to pass on the word: vote for the bully.

A minute or so after Heather left, Tommy asked, "Do you think she fell for it?"

The other person giggled. "Hook, line, and sinker."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – A Bully-Free Zone**

**Tommy** – It was simple, really. Make sure Heather overheard, and then have her run and tell everybody to vote for Kyle, the 'bully'. There's no way he can slip out of this one.

/He smiles/ And so the predator becomes the prey.

* * *

All of the contestants gathered at the Bonfire, some worried, some confident. The eerie full moon sent disfigured shadows dancing cross the ground.

"Today, thirty-three completely different campers battled against time, luck, and each other to recover the stolen items –" Chris began, pacing back and forth.

"I thought you said they were 'borrowed'?" Noah asked.

Chris ignored him and continued. "For the veterans, welcome back. For the rookies, welcome. This . . . is the Bonfire Ceremony. Here, marshmallows not only represent a gooey treat, but they also represent life."

Gwen held up a tray topped with thirty-two marshmallows.

"If you do not get a marshmallow, you must walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave Camp Wawanakwa . . . for good. And you can't come back. Ever!"

Geoff tilted his hat and Bridgette and winked. She silently giggled back and turned her attention back to the host.

"You've all cast your votes. Many of you are in danger, but only one is leaving Total Drama Impossible," Chris smirked. "And let me tell you. This will not be pretty."

"You know the drill. When you hear your name, come and claim your marshmallow."

Cody grinned. "Artair. Courtney. Xavier. For winning the challenge and immunity."

The three breathed out a sigh of relief and grabbed their prize.

"Now, for those of you that received no votes," the techno-geek continued.

"Noah . . . Roxanne . . . Collins," Chris announced.

An indifferent Noah, an ecstatic Roxanne, and a relieved Collins jumped up and snatched their marshmallows.

"Bridgette . . . Harold . . . Gail."

Geoff winked at Bridgette and Courtney growled at Harold as the trio claimed their treats.

"Tommy . . . Tonia . . . Yale."

Tonia took her marshmallow and grabbed one to give to Tommy and one to give to Yale. After casting a hopeful look towards Xavier, Tonia – followed by Tommy and Yale – sat down.

"Beth . . . Monet . . . Kai."

Kai quickly declared his prize and sat down again. The two country girls approached Gwen slower and snatched their own marshmallows.

"Izzy . . . Rose . . . Valerina."

The three girls walked – or in Izzy's case, skipped – forward and claimed their treats. Instead of sitting down like Rose and Valerina, Izzy jumped onto Owen's back, grinning.

"Draven . . . Fire . . . Rosetta . . . and Rainbow."

The final four campers with no votes against them hugged one another before greedily snatching their marshmallows.

Bridgette and Courtney cast a worried look towards Geoff and Duncan, while Valley and Zane started a whispered argument. Ezekiel, Kyle, and Tan looked worried, but Heather sat confidently with her head held high.

"Now, for you campers who received a vote," chuckled Cody.

"Geoff and Alex, congratulations. You two received a marshmallow." Chris grinned.

Alex shrugged, taking his marshmallow, but Geoff was a bit more enthusiastic in his response.

"Woohoo!" he shouted, picking up Bridgette and kissing her.

"Geoff, your marshmallow!" she reminded him laughingly.

"Duncan, dude, and Aaron. You're safe."

Smirking, they grabbed their prize and sat down. Courtney, relieved but trying to hide it, stuck her tongue out at Duncan.

"Happy, Princess?" he whispered to her.

"You wish, Ogre," she muttered back.

"Willow. Valley and Zane. Come get your treats."

The Cosplayer triumphantly took her marshmallow and sat down, sending a glare towards Aaron.

"Coward," Zane shot at Valley when they claimed their prize.

"Dim-witted bully," she sneered back.

Tan was near hyperventilating, but was calmed down when Chris snickered and called out, "Tan, you're safe."

Grabbing one of the last marshmallows, the environmentalist breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Ezekiel. Seems like some of your fellow female campers are still pretty ticked at your remarks from last season," Chris said.

"I'm soo'ry!" Ezekiel called up from underneath his toque.

"Heather. Looks like your misdeeds from Total Drama Island are catching up to you. You worried?"

"Not at all," the Queen Bee smirked.

"And Kyle . . . Actually, I'm not really sure why you're here," Chris shrugged and continued. "There's only two marshmallows, but three of you."

"Okay, McLean, I know you don't have to be a genius to be a reality show host, but I'd've thought you could count to two," Valerina sneered.

Sure enough, there was only one marshmallow left on the tray, not two.

"There was thirty-three when we started," grumbled Chris. "Which means somebody took two marshmallows."

Everybody looked around, some suspicious, some interested, some plain bored.

"Well, for now, I guess that means that, Ezekiel, even though you are safe, you don't get a marshmallow," Chris frowned.

Ezekiel blinked and gasped, "I'm safe, eh?"

"Yes you are. Congrats on making it past one episode!"

Kyle's eyes widened, and Heather tossed her hair behind her shoulders.

"Come on, McLean. I need my beauty sleep," she said, stretching nonchalantly.

"You'd need a lot of beauty sleep to fix you, Weird Popular Girl," Gwen couldn't resist saying.

"Look who's calling the teapot black, Weird Goth Girl," the Queen Bee shot back.

"And the final marshmallow goes to . . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."

Chris looked between Kyle and Heather and smirked. "Heather."

There were gasps heard all around, which masked the triumphant grins of two contestants.

"Since I'm feeling generous, Kyle, would you like to see the Voting Confessionals?" Chris asked, his smirk growing wider.

Still in shock, the gay guy nodded numbly.

* * *

**Voting Confessionals**

**Aaron** – I'm voting Willow. I happen to like living, you know.

**Alex** – I heard what happened, and that's all I have to go on, so Kyle.

**Artair** – They w-were really nice and t-t-told me to vote . . . K-Kyle?

**Beth** – Heather, of courthe! She'th evil!

**Bridgette** – It's only been one day since Total Drama Island ended, Heather. Don't think we've forgotten you.

**Collins** - /She sighs, writes down a name on a ballot, scribbles it out, sighs again, and writes down a different name. She holds the ballot up to the camera then drops it in the voting box/ 'Ezekiel'

**Courtney** – I'd vote Harold if I thought I could eliminate him, but I'm a fair sport, I won't change the votes. So I'll go with that sexist pig, Ezekiel.

**Draven** – This is more of a throwaway vote, but Tan?

**Duncan **– Homeschool, dude, you have a lot of furious chicks on your tail. Honestly, it'd be better for your sake if you left now.

**Ezekiel** – I knoo' I'm in danger of being eliminated, eh, but Heather was evil last season! Doesn't that coo'nt fur something?

**Fire** – Lady Heather come'th running and say Sir Kyle was endangering Tommy. I, of course, immediately know that is most untrue, but queerly enough, Lady Heather seems to believed it. Methinks she is up to something . . . Lady Heather.

**Gail** – It's nothing personal, Kyle. You can just go ahead and label me prejudice against gay people.

**Geoff** – /He scratches the back of his head/ Er . . . Tan?

**Harold** – I still have the wedgie scars from last season, Duncan! Gosh!

**Heather** – Oh, Kyle, how could you do something as ruthless as pushing an innocent child off a cliff? Not that I care, but I do sincerely thank you for your eagerness to be my scapegoat.

**Izzy** – Eenie, meenie, miney, Heather!

**Kai** – Tch, Heather. I'm here for the adventures not to be bossed around by a Queen Bee!

**Kyle** – Pushing Geoff? Not cool, Tan, not cool.

**Monet** – Kyle, of course! He shoved poor Tommy into the ocean and then denied it!

**Noah** – Speaking from experience, I know what happens when Heather gets all the momentum.

**Rainbow** – Tommy told me how mean Kyle was being to him! Bully! . . . Sorry for using such bad words, Mommy and Daddy. Kyle's gotta go, though!

**Rose** – If 1st place Owen and 2nd place Gwen are already out, it seems fitting that 3rd place Heather should leave, especially if she got their by using everybody.

**Rosetta** – Eh, I know this vote won't have any effect . . . but it'd make me feel better . . . Alex.

**Roxanne** – Sexist Ezekiel, I'll have you know, I am the only one at the circus who walked on the tightrope. None of your precious, brave guys did.

**Tan** – Push me, huh? /He laughs amusedly/ Might as well vote for Geoff, seeing as there's nobody else.

**Tommy** – Bwully Kywle hurt mwy feelings!

**Tonia** – Just to make sure the lesson sticks, Ezekiel.

**Valerina **– First out of Total Drama Island has got to be traumatizing for Ezekiel. Let's see how scary it is being first out of the sequel too.

**Valley** – Do I even have to say it? Zane.

**Willow** – Seriously getting on my nerves here, Aaron.

**Xavier** – I know it won't happen, but the Justin-like Kyle's too strong a rival for the ladies' hearts. Sorry Kyle.

**Yale** – Bullying? Is that what you've stooped too, Kyle?

**Zane** – Valley, of course!

* * *

There was a couple moments of silence where everybody digested who voted before who, before Kyle finally said, "I didn't bully Tommy, though! I didn't even touch him!"

"Then I assume he just jumped, right?" Monet – who'd never been mean before – sneered at him.

Kyle sighed, defeated, and waved one last good-bye.

Courtney was dumbstruck. "Kyle . . . Wow. It . . . was nice, meeting a fan of mine. I'll see you soon."

Kyle nodded and smiled surprised when she gave him her marshmallow.

"For the trip back," Courtney said.

"Kyle, bro, your time here is up. The Boat of Losers awaits, bro," Chris McLean clasped Kyle on the shoulder.

The gay contestant turned around and started walking to the Dock of Shame, but was stopped when Chris burst out laughing.

"That's what I would've said, had this been an actual elimination," the host snickered.

Cody and Gwen chuckled at the sight of everybody's faces, and even Owen broke away from Izzy to yell, "Aw, I love pulling pranks!"

"So I'm not eliminated?" Kyle gasped.

"Nope," answered Chris. "You're safe . . . for tonight."

"Now, who's ready for dinner?" Owen cheered.

All the contestants paled, muttered some excuse about having to be somewhere else, and fled the scene.

"More for me then!" grinned Owen.

Chris smirked at the camera. "I got them tonight, didn't I? The looks on their faces was priceless. But the campers better not let their guards down. That's only the beginning. Things are going to get much, much worse before we can declare the winner of Total Drama Impossible!

"This is Chris McLean, Camp Wawanakwa, host of the best reality show yet."

Over by the cabins, our favorite homeschooled hero stepped out of the shadows and called out, "Hey Beth?"

The farm girl, moments away from entering her cabin, turned around and said, "Yes Homethchool?"

He bit his bottom lip and said, "Good job in the challenge, eh?"

Beth frowned. "What ith it you really want to talk about?"

Ezekiel sighed. "I joo'st wanted to say I'm soo'ry fur what I said last season. That was what my father told me, eh, and I didn't have any reason to doo'bt him. I noo' realize that girls are joo'st as strong and smart as guys are, even stronger and smarter."

Beth nodded and smiled. "It took thome gutth to thay that, Home – Ezekiel. In that cathe, I do forgive you. And good job yourthelf thtaying in longer than one epithode!"

He beamed, but then frowned slightly.

"Thomething wrong?" Beth asked him.

"It's nothing. I am glad to be safe, eh . . . but I really wanted a marshmallow," he muttered.

Beth looked down at the marshmallow in her hand and smiled. "You can have mine."

"Really?" gasped Ezekiel.

"Really, thilly!"

Beth tossed the marshmallow down to him. Ezekiel caught it and looked up to say thank you, but Beth had already disappeared into her cabin.

They weren't the only two still up.

Tommy, having spied a camera man, looked directly at the camera and asked, "Ywou'wre fwilming thwis, rwight?"

Apparently pleased with the answer, Tommy dropped his accent and continued, "Kyle got lucky. It should've been him on the Boat of Losers. And it will be. He should be worried. "

Smirking, the child added, "It's only been one day, and I've already got the competition bending to my will. Kyle's luck won't last forever. And then he'll be the domino that falls first, knocking all the others down until there's only one winner left."

Tommy smiled softly. "Me."

* * *

**Confessional Cam – Now Sleeping With One Eye Open**

**Tan** - /He sighs/ And so we go.

* * *

**[1] – Barlow is Courtney's last name on the official Facebook page for her.**

**[2] – A katana is a ninja weapon, just so you know. **

**[3] – I do not own the name Fuzzy Wuzzums.**

**[4] – This may or may not be a reference to a great Noah line from Total Drama World Tour.**

**[5] – This is a reference to an RP, which has nothing to do with religion at all.**

* * *

**Well, what'd you think? I promise, it won't take this long to get the next chapter out!**

**Coming Up Next – Owen's dream come true :D Which may or may not be coincidentally similar to a certain popular California song's music video. **

**Be sure to drop a review, and until next time . . .**

**/comets– out/ **

**Coming Up Next – Owen's dream come true :D Which may or may not be coincidentally similar to a certain popular California song's music video. **

* * *

**Votes**

**Geoff** – 1

**Alex** – 1

**Duncan** – 1

**Aaron** – 1

**Willow** – 1

**Valley** – 1

**Zane** – 1

**Tan** – 3

**Ezekiel** – 6

**Heather** – 8

**Kyle** – 9

* * *

Aaron – Willow

Alex – Kyle

Artair – Kyle

Beth – Heather

Bridgette - Heather

Collins – Ezekiel

Courtney – Ezekiel

Draven – Tan

Duncan – Ezekiel

Ezekiel – Heather

Fire – Heather

Gail – Kyle

Geoff – Tan

Harold – Duncan

Heather – Kyle

Izzy – Heather

Kenneth – Heather

Kyle – Tan

Monet – Kyle

Noah – Heather

Rainbow – Kyle

Rose – Heather

Rosetta – Alex

Roxanne – Ezekiel

Tan – Geoff

Tommy – Kyle

Tonia – Ezekiel

Valerina – Ezekiel

Valley – Zane

Willow – Aaron

Xavier – Kyle

Yale – Kyle

Zane – Valley

* * *

**Team Oh Jesus **

Artair the Wallflower

Rose the Schoolgirl

Rose the One Hiding Her True Feelings

Rosetta the Hopeless Romantic

Aaron the Loner

Harold

Beth

Tommy the Evil Prodigy Child

Willow the Cosplayer

Noah

Ezekiel

* * *

**The Ferocious Falcons**

Courtney

Duncan

Heather

Izzy

Kyle the Gay Bombshell

Fire the Psychic

Geoff

Draven the Intelligent Man of Mystery

Gail the Survivalist

Yale the Gambler

Kenneth the Adventurer

* * *

**The Sexy Salamanders**

Xavier the Casa Nova

Tonia the Beauty Queen

Monet the Southern Belle

Bridgette

Valerina the Jeerleader

Valley the Ninja

Roxanne the Circus Chick

Collins the Silent One

Alex the Indifferent One

Tan the Environmentalist

Zane the Pirate


End file.
